I lost my post again; Oh, well. This is really a hard one for me, but I will try again. First of all, do not do this, It will destroy you, and your family in ways you could never know unless you been there, and I have. If you have looked at my profile, you will see I (caretaker)have severe mental health issues, and do to and to the way I perceived myself and how I looked; I starved myself, exercised 8 hours a day, and used 20+ laxatives daily, for over 20 years, and no matter how much weight I lost, I still looked fat when I looked in the mirror; while others' were telling me I looked emaciated. Ended up in hospital many times with forced nasal feedings; went home and did it again, cause I could feel, at that time, every ounce put on my body. Well, the result, now, ten years after going from 68lbs. to 128lbs.(not through want, but through the will-power to live) for my family, who were being destroyed by this. They were always a strong force in my life and still are; but, what I was doing to myself was so painful to them. Because as a result of all this; I HAVE DESTROYED MOST OF MY MOST IMPORTANT bodily functions that keep you alive, and have had more operations in the last 10 years then most have in a lifetime; but they still love and support me. At this point, that is what keeps me hanging on; but, now there are even further complications that I may not be able to fight.
IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN; That is the reason I am exposing my past to you; so that you might ask questions, or see and learn what could happen to you if you feel that starvation may help you lose weight, Your wrong; starvation often if not most times leads to anorexia, and death. Like I said, if I had only known and seen what others' had seen, but I could not, I would not have set myself up like this, and forced myself into physical illnesses, that no-one should have to deal with, esp when self-destroyed. Cause there is no-one to blame but myself for what I have to deal with now. I did it myself. And no-one else can do this to yourself; but it is a problem for people who have such a poor image of themselves, that this is how they think they can change it; Believe me, it does not help you in that respect, but it does make things worse for you in the end.
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