By Shellie46 Latest Reply 2011-10-11 09:08:35 -0500
Started 2011-10-01 08:35:13 -0500

I am type 2 and have been for about 18 years now. I weigh 210 lbs. I'm 4'10". I HATE being diabetic. I HATE the food restrictions. I don't have time or the inclination to exercise. I just want to lay down and cry. My husband accuses me of being self destructive. I go to the grocery store and look at the "healthy choices" but with a family of 3 to feed - and only $40 a week for groceries - it's impossible to buy "healthy". My Dr would like me to go to diabetic class. I can't afford it or a dietitian. I just feel like giving up.

61 replies

Uncle Lew
Uncle Lew 2011-10-08 15:30:42 -0500 Report

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want,
drink what you don't like,
and do what you'd rather not."
Mark Twain
Mark Twain is right but what good is health if you are miserable. We just need to strike a balance between what we have to do and what we want to do.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-10-06 09:23:25 -0500 Report

You know Shellie, I don't know if you are on medication for depression, but that may be one of the underlying problems. My world is 1000 times better once that was addressed.

lacat87 2011-10-06 11:48:54 -0500 Report

Me too Jim with the antidepression meds. Makes a whole lot of difference. She must be careful to find the right one, tho.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-10-06 12:05:52 -0500 Report

Good point. Depression meds are not scientific. It is not like a stomach ache where Pepto will probably help. there are 4 classes of depression meds. Wellbutrin is in a class by itself, but the other 3 have about 1/2 dozen drugs in each class. One may work for you in a particular class, while the others do not do a thing. It took 2 years before hitting on the right one for me. Often the drug has to build up in your system, then while you go to the next one, the first one has to leave. it can be time consuming and frustrating, but well worth it. I had been on Effexor for 15 years. Last winter as my wife told me she would be leaving my depression got worse so my PCP added Wellbutrin. The combo has worked so well, my Effexor is now 1/2 of what it was.

Pynetree 2011-10-11 09:08:35 -0500 Report

so does all the credit go to the addition of Wellbutrin?..maybe the subtraction of wife helped lift the depression…just sayin' ; )

lacat87 2011-10-06 12:14:13 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry about your wife, Jim. Glad you got the meds you needed. Asked my PCP for Wellbutrin for help to stop smoking and gave an definite no to me. Asked before on how to give hugs. Do you know how?

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-10-06 12:17:02 -0500 Report

Yes. You go to my profile and click on send a message. It will then allow you to type a message and on the bottom it says, send a gift. Click on the gift, and send. By the way I don't drink coffee! lol

lacat87 2011-10-06 12:19:14 -0500 Report

Ok thanks Jim. I'll remember about the coffee. LOL I don't drink coffee either! I'm a tea drinker.

Heather44118 2011-10-05 18:28:20 -0500 Report

if you dont use coupons start. you can find internet coupons for alot of healthy things. I know fresh veggies seem costly. Here is a little thing you can do go to your kitchen and find 2 non diabecitc foods.. how much did you pay for them??? Now how much is a head of lettuce or a stalk of celery. You can afford "healthy choices" just watch for sales. good luck. and remember you can do this. We are all here to help you. :)

lacat87 2011-10-06 11:50:56 -0500 Report

Heather I love your suggestions! Good job, girl! Yes, we are all here for each other. I ask for help now and then.

SheliaDell 2011-10-05 15:47:44 -0500 Report

Hi, Shellie -
When I say I understand your pain, I really do! I'm 4'10" and weigh 218. I was diagnosed about four years ago, and still struggle with eating right. It's been up and down for me, with lots of depression and self-destructive behavior thrown in. I'm afraid Jim is correct that buying and cooking fresh veggies and eating unprocessed foods is the only way to go. I've recently lost 65 pounds, and that's the only way I've been able to lose the weight and control my blood sugar. I rarely eat out any more. Is it as much fun as burgers and fries from the dollar menu? No. Do I want to indulge in the cake and ice cream at work parties? Yes. But I hurt myself when I do those things. One thing I found out is that processed, sugary, high-fat foods fuel the depression and make it worse too…really! If you can eat good food for a couple weeks, you'll see how much difference it makes. I'd encourage you to get to a diabetic class. If you have an American Diabetic Association near you, they probably offer free or nearly free classes…just Google them to find locations. Please don't give up…you are so worth the time it will take to manage your food choices. I wish you the best in your struggle. I have confidence you can do this! Maybe we can be buddies and win this weight battle together!

nsmith1998 2011-10-06 09:48:03 -0500 Report

even though u werent talkin to me ur words were very encouragin.i hope to join u all in the battle im 5'5" an im 225lbs

SheliaDell 2011-10-06 11:48:15 -0500 Report

Hi, "nsmith1998" - It really is a battle, isn't it? I am trying so hard to get under 200 pounds, and I'm at that point that I seem to be stuck where I am. I wish you well in your weight loss journey! Shelia

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-10-05 14:17:34 -0500 Report

I feel for you, but no matter what the folks here tell you, no matter what a doctor tells you or a dietician, you will not even begin to win this battle until you have a complete change of attitude. Your husband, while maybe not helping is correct. Your attitude and behavior are self destructive. None of us like the restrictions none of us, that I know of, like being diabetic. Now there are a few nut cases on here that like to exercise, I am not one of them, but I do it. Maybe not as much as I should, but everyday i do something for exercise. Why? Because when I die, I want to have my feet and legs attached. I want to be able to see until I shut my eyes for the last time. I don't want to go to dialysis twice a week, just to live.
Since money is tight the soda and snacks have to go, Forget healthy choices and go the vegetable aisle and cook from natural foods, not ones that have been preserved and frozen, and forget take out or eating out. Both are expensive and the quality of the food is always questionable. So, you probably don't like my answer as much as some of the others, but ever word I have entered here is true. Your health, your life is all up to you. You did not get to be 210 pounds by making right food choices. So you need to completely pull out of whatever food rut you are in and start making good choices for you and your family. Remember, if the 3rd person in your family is a child, you need to get them on the right track, before they follow in your tracks and end up with diabetes. I wish you the best, Jim

lacat87 2011-10-06 11:54:32 -0500 Report

Also, you didn't gain that weight over night so it won't go away over night. a lot of heavy stuff is eating at you and you are feeding it. Completely agree with Jim. He knows of what he speaks! Maybe also write down in a journal everyday your feeling, goals, etc.

Heather44118 2011-10-05 18:22:31 -0500 Report

thank you Jim. I was diagnosed on Friday. I have 4 others in the house. We ALL eat healthier now. I give my sons snacks but truthfully is a diabetic lifestyle of eating bad for kids… nope. Your words have helped me. I was craving chocolate.. guess i will have my veggie sticks :)

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-10-06 09:05:01 -0500 Report

You are welcome. Actually really dark chocolate, which is unsweetened, isn't all that bad for you. It is the milk chocolate like Hershey bars (a personal weakness) that cause the trouble. Wish you the best. I know the road isn't easy, and throwing in 2 kids and a hubby just compounds it a bit. When I was raising my 2 girls by myself (were 10 & 11, now 30 & 31) I found the easiest way was not to bring the "bad food" into the house. I did the food shopping while they were in school. When they did get a treat, like ice cream, it was indeed a treat.

lacat87 2011-10-06 11:56:22 -0500 Report

I heard recently by a good source that milk chocolate may be good for us as well!! Wish I could recall where I heard that, maybe on the national news.

TsalagiLenape 2011-10-05 07:51:57 -0500 Report

Shellie, first off you are not alone. I am always looking for the diabetic friendly cookbook for a family! There isnt one thus far. Yet I do small changes like whole grains versus white breads and pastas. Many are now within affordable ranges. Also dont buy mac and cheese make it home made. Its better and you can add things to it to jazz it up in flavor. I usually make a menu of dinners and etc I have to make for the week thus it saves up when I go shopping. Also dont skimp on the veggies. Get frozen if you have too. Steam them up. Yum! Plus seek a therapist. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with stuff. Look at some of my posts. Like Know your Own Worth. Or Inspire just to name a few. Your eight year old will see the positive steps you are taking. This will become a family fun time if you let it. Take out old recipes and shake them up healthier. Make it a game. Base it on health flavor and how its like the old recipe better or not. I hope this helps! Hugs

Jan8 2011-10-04 08:32:48 -0500 Report

Shelle-46 Are you eligible for food stamps? I do understand depression and the lack of motivation and helplessness it creates. Just remember you are not alone and there are many different ways to help you. There is a free support group across the US called Emotions anonymous. (EA) Don't give up the ship Shelle.

tokkle 2011-10-03 22:09:48 -0500 Report

I understand how you feel. With me I feel like it's not worth even trying. Not only am I limited to my carbs and Sweets (which was all I had) I am also allergic to most foods. My life is so frustrating cause all I can eat now is Chicken and Water. Being Allergic to Beef, Dairy, Corn, Wheat, Pork, Red Food Dye, and artificial sweetners (well I can have them, I'll just be in sever pain for a week or so), just to name a few of them. It's hard and frustrating. Plus to top it off I have never liked to eat cause most foods cause me misery, now I have to make my list even smaller. No matter what happens I try to remember that "God (or other higher power) never gives you more then he knows you can handle, but he does like to push us to our limits. We all are frustrated, your not alone at least you can have more food options then I.

Bogy 2011-10-06 10:21:43 -0500 Report

My goodness, you are certainly carrying a heavy load. However, God is there with you even when we feel all alone. Best to you,Pete

Heather44118 2011-10-05 18:31:14 -0500 Report

have you tried stevia? i could not use any artificials until my dr told e about this. so far not problems. good luck :)

Richinhealth 2011-10-03 19:18:25 -0500 Report

Shellie I understand, but there is hope. My mind is blank on the prime minister of Englland during World War II, Winston Churchill, He said never give up, never never give up. There is a solution. Nobody likes to exercise but just do a little. As for the food, just eat smaller bites - that will save on money.

You can do it. You hae to.

hillwalker 2011-10-02 21:12:11 -0500 Report

there are people far better than i to help with most but i understand people pretty well
when you get mad or frustrated go for a walk it gives you time to think and the world going by will help bring you down coincidentally it might help other things but walking away from what made you upset will help you get by it-also cheaper than many other things

Shellie46 2011-10-01 13:22:20 -0500 Report

Thanks to you both for your replies. My husband is a very good guy. We've been married 25 years and have 2 children. One is 8 yoa so is still at home with us. We did have a garden this year. We grew several types of tomatoes, lettuce, green beans, cucumbers and zuchini and other things. I'm just so stinking depressed right now. And since I know this - I feel like I should be able to pull myself up. Thanks for the suggestions. And I will look into them!

jayabee52 2011-10-01 13:43:10 -0500 Report

I've been depressed myself before. I know that it is very difficult to just pull one self out of the quicksand of depression. Don't be too proud or ashamed to get help to pull you out. Talk therapy with or without medication may be very helpful. Often there are resources available for free or sliding scale fees for counselors. Sometimes one counselor or another doesn't do it for you, so don't be afraid to try different therapists with different approaches. I have had counselors who have helped me through some real rough patches in my life.
I have also used different anti depressant medications to help me through some rough times.

Just don't give up! Please come to DC and vent should you feel the need. We know the feeling because most of us have experienced it or something like it also.



lacat87 2011-10-01 14:17:20 -0500 Report

Sometimes I feel "I don't care about my bg anymore. I'm tired of doing all of this counting, poking, etc. But I still do it anyway cuz I know if I don't I'll be in big trouble! It's brief feeling like that. Anyone else feel the same sometimes?

jayabee52 2011-10-01 15:15:31 -0500 Report

OH YES! Sometimes for a week at a time! But I still need to do it! My life and continued health depends on it

lacat87 2011-10-03 10:33:59 -0500 Report

Thanks for replying back to me. Don't get many replies!! I'm sorry that you feel that way for a week at a time. That's really a long time. But it helps me that you care enough to reply to me. Maybe it helps us both!

lacat87 2011-10-03 10:37:01 -0500 Report

Also, don't know if I can afford going to a specialist who treats someone who knows about being a diabetic. Is there such a therapist just for diabetics or someone who is a diabetic? Guess I would have to do some digging to find that person.

jayabee52 2011-10-05 23:26:42 -0500 Report

Actually Dr Gary who posts from time to time is a therapist who deals with people who have chronic deseases. You might want to befriend him and ask him via email if he knows of a network of therapists such as he is. If you find a therapist who is a PWD it might be ideal.

Tina1860 2011-10-03 11:38:19 -0500 Report

I don't know if you have insurance or not but if you do check because a lot of insurances will have options for either therapist or Diebetic Nutritionists. I went to one 3 months ago for the first time and I have been type 2 diabetic for over 20 years. I was so depressed and angry and frustrated last year because of personal issues and struggles with trying to get my bllood sugars down. My last a1c was 11.1. Just making that first step to go to the nutritionist put me in control and helped me make better choice on foods. I am slowly losing weight, 204 to 179, so far and my blood sugars are reading between 70 and 120's. It is still a struggle sometimes mostly with the exercise because I come home from work so tired and my feet hurt so I don't want to go walking, but I know that walk will help my feet feel better and I always feel better after the walk and I sleep better. Depression bogs you down and you feel like you can never get out of the hole your in and that it is impossible to fix everything. You can get out. You just have to take that first step. For me it was the diabetic nutritionist.

lacat87 2011-10-03 11:58:20 -0500 Report

Thanks Tina1860 for replying back to me! I do have insurance, but the real problem is my husband, who doesn't believe in that kind of help. Just doesn't get it. My problem for most of my depression is gaining weight. I was 120 before my surgery to remove my pancreas and have the remaining good islet cells transplanted to my liver. I know if I eat 1/2 of a peach, the sugar will rise so much. Makes me think I shouldn't eat fruits at all. Have a call in to my doctor (Diabetes) and will ask for a Diabetic Nutr. for help cuz I'm not doing any good on my own. I know I should exercise more and I don't. Just too lazy and too many excuses not to. And I'm a good procrastinator!! I tell myself I'll walk tomorrow!! It's always tomorrow.
So thanks so much for replying to me, it means a lot.

Tina1860 2011-10-03 13:21:48 -0500 Report

I hope the nutritionist will be able to help you. Your situation seems a lot different than mine and hopefully the nutritionist will be able to give you the ingredients you need for you unique situation. I still have a pancreas but it just doesn't work so well a lot of which is from to much fat in my body. Hopefully I can lose my weight and get off meds completely at some future date. All I can do is try and keep asking for help when I need it.

lacat87 2011-10-03 13:44:19 -0500 Report

Thanks Tina1860. I forgot to tell you my weight before surgery was about 120-118 and after about 103. And have since been loosing more weight.
Here's a puzzle for me: why does my sugar keep rising even after I have figured out how many carbs I'm eating for a meal and calculate how much insulin I need to cover that meal? It's as if the insulin is doing nothing for me. Very frustrating!! Can anyone explain this to me?

Tina1860 2011-10-03 17:03:11 -0500 Report

Obviously I'm not a doctor but one thing I know is that your liver produces sugars in your body that are designed to help your brain. I don't know how the addition of islet cells works in your liver? Are they supposed to produce the insulin to counter act the production of sugar? Since my pancrease does not produce enough insulin to utilize my sugars properly I take medications. One is Metformin which reduces the amount of sugar my liver produces so I don't overload even more on sugars. Maybe your liver is compensating by producing more sugar. Does your doctor know about this?

lacat87 2011-10-04 08:15:25 -0500 Report

Oh yes my doctor knows about this, just don't know how many patients she has that are like me. The good islet cells that were separated from the bad cells right after surgery were immediately transplanted to my liver thru the portal vein. It took some time for them to set up and develop their own blood supply. I was told that I am also making new islet cells to add to the ones that were transplanted. Which I think is pretty cool. My hope is one day I will have enough islet cells that I won't need insulin. But that probably won't be for quite a while. I'll have to ask about that. So to categorize me, I was initially told I'm in the "other" category as opposed to Type 1 or 2. Now recently I was told I am being treated as a Type 1 diabetic. You ask a good question that I haven't thought of. I will ask my doctor about your question of whether or not the islet cells in my liver counter act the production of sugar. Thanks Tina! Big hugs for you!! I will also ask my surgeon about it too.

Jan8 2011-10-04 10:34:00 -0500 Report

I find that surgery amazing. I have known people who have had that done and had good results.

lacat87 2011-10-04 12:01:30 -0500 Report

Now I find that you know people who have had my surgery amazing! I live in SC and was # 25 to have this done. The surgery started here in 2008. I believe I had good results too. My doctor is very impressed with me. But I wasn't as bad off as the people who call me for information about the surgery.

Jan8 2011-10-04 12:21:21 -0500 Report

i live in the land of major hospital systems. I can remember patients and a lecture attended with some veterans of the surgery at the Cleveland clinic main campus. i am wondering if we are talking about the same surgery? I am very impressed at the body's ability to make new islet cells. What is the name of the surgery that you had?

lacat87 2011-10-04 12:56:01 -0500 Report

So you live in Cleveland, OH? I was born there and raised mostly in Akron. The name of my surgery is: Total Pancreatecomy with Autologous Islet Cell Transplant. It is amazing how the body can make new islet cells! I'm so happy that the body can do that. I just wish I knew how, never asked my doctors, but will ask them. Never thought to ask them. Sometimes I take information and accept it without asking! Is this the same surgery you were thinking about?

Jan8 2011-10-04 18:03:20 -0500 Report

yes,and you are one perfect specimen because it sounds like your body's islet cells are multiplying in your liver . I can understand how you just had faith enough in the surgeon and didn't ask questions. how could you? it's complicated . I am an RN not a doc so if you have questions now about it just give him/her a call or the nurse practitioner if there is one. It's never too late. (or at your appt. like you said) God bless.

lacat87 2011-10-05 11:04:45 -0500 Report

Oh thlank you Jan8!! So is it "yes" for you live in Cleveland or the name of the surgery? Thanks for saying it's never too late. I was thinking it was and would look at me like "why didn't you ask this before?" !! Hugs to you!

Tina1860 2011-10-03 11:43:52 -0500 Report

Skinny Cow Ice Cream. Their Chocolate Truffle bar is excellent and 100 calories with 3 or 4 gm of fiber. You can't taste anything remotely like fiber just Ice Cream and it doesn't send my sugars up if I only eat one. The fiber seems to help my body process it more slowly so I don't get the sugar spikes.

granniesophie 2011-10-02 09:35:26 -0500 Report

If you can fit it into your meal plan, and you are extremely careful and count carbs and measure your portions too, a half cup of ice cream occasionally won't harm you. There are even low carb and no-sugar added ice creams out there that taste good. Not every day, mind you, but you can have ice cream!
Actually, you can have pretty much anything, as long as you are mindful of carbs and portion sizes and test your BG to see how that food affects you when you eat it. That way you will find out, as we all have, what you can and cannot eat.
And yes, we all get depressed, sometimes for a long time, but we are all here to help and listen, and as James said-you can find a counselor to help-some have a sliding scale and you pay what you can.
And yes, healthy foods can be expensive, but if you cut out the processed stuff and feed your whole family the same foods, you won't be buying 2 different kinds of menus and you'll save money that way. And they will be eating healthier too!
You can do it, I promise! Keep us posted-we all care and want to help you :)

jayabee52 2011-10-01 12:11:27 -0500 Report

Howdy Shellie

I believe any person with diabetes alive right now has been where you now are emotionally. I have been there too, feeling helpless and hopeless. Your husband is probably scared for you (I don't know him, or how your relationship is) but wants your well being and doesn't know HOW to help you. He is probably scared too. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes my wife (at the time) was scared and wanted me to take better care of myself. Eventually that was one of the issues which drove us apart after 25 years of marriage and 3 sons together.

I pray that does not happen to you. However I learned that there is life after divorce, and I met a wonderful lady "Jem" who married me (she was 4'10" also) and was a fantastic lady packed into that small frame.

As far as healthy choices in groceries go, this is something which is much discussed on DC. Here is a list of discussions where the topic is about shopping for groceries: choose one or more of these to get some ideas to save on your food bill. Most anything that Gabby posts is pretty good, and I recommend also the posts by Ray721 as quite useful also.

To sum most of their advice in a few words, buy just the basics in the way of foods. You probably don't need the "convenience" foods, as they are expensive and not the best choice in terms of nutrition too.

It is too late in the season most places to start a garden, but if you have the space in your yard plan one for next spring. That will give you and hubby (and any children you may have) something productive to do. And you can eat the produce it provides. It will be inexpensive AND healthy - especially cause you know how it was grown!

As far as using a dietician, or getting a diabetes class, ask your Dr if there is dietician or a class available which is free or available on a sliding scale.

If not, use the power of the internet to your advantage. Come here, ask questions. Most folks here will be willing to talk about what works for them. Then you can pick the approach which suits you. You can also go to sites like the ADA or the governmental websites on diabetes and learn a whole lot. I have been on DC for 3 years and I believe I learned more in the last 3 years about this condition than I had learned in the first 13 years since my diagnosis (and I had 2 diabetes classes).

Your situation is NOT hopeless, and you are NOT helpless. I believe you can be powerful in your own right when you arm yourself with knowledge. Just build it up little by little. Take baby steps to learn about diabetes if you must, but take those steps. A person does not learn to walk all of a sudden, but learns by a process of trial and error, but keeps on trying.

Praying God's blessings on you and yours, Shellie


jimmyjames43 2011-10-01 12:10:20 -0500 Report

I know where your at,I am on a very tight budget here,and I also am a heart patient,and its very hard to always eat right,I eat a lot of chicken and buy what ever is on sale,and remove the skin myself if needed,and I always keep a batch of veggies soup in the fridge,the reciep is posted on here. You can do a lots of different chicken meals,I try and follow my diet,and with the help of weight watchers,got on track. I can eat a wide variety of foods,BUT its portion control thats the key,if i get the hungries I pull out my soup and have a bowl

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