Rage Anger Frustrations Sadness Crying and Refocusing toward Positive!

By TsalagiLenape Latest Reply 2011-09-30 13:08:49 -0500
Started 2011-09-27 09:47:28 -0500

Well it all starts on over this past weekend.

My daughter who is 38 weeks pregnant knew I was at a Pow Wow an hour and a half away. That I couldnt just get up and come home for her. Well she ranted raved and complained to the point of calling me a bytch to my friend via text messages and phone calls.

Next my brother (native) and business partner who suffers from PTSD did his usual yelling screaming at me because I was sitting on my wee arse eating bon bons doing nothing! LOL Not! I was busy tying the tables to the crates for the ride home. He wanted me to find something but I had told him to wait twice that I would check it out. But No he wanted it found NOW! Then to find out others heard this and well of course first I am to blame. Yet decided later on I wasnt once the whole story was told!

Then get home to find out husband had a hissy fit cause there was no dinner made. Well gee hunny when do you let us know when you will be home? Um Never!

Where another situation flared up between the husband aka stepfather to my daughter. Which started after I had left for classes.

Now all of this made me feel anger, rage, frustrations, sadness, crying and etc. Where I felt like a low life loser who deserves whatever she gets.

Now here is what I did…thought it over. Talked to my friend who daughter harassed over the weekend. I am sorry they dont have the brains Creator gave them to use to help themselves. That is on them They are jealous of the fact I am not dropping everything to handle their problems like I used to in the past. For now I am focusing on myself. To become better. That I am putting myself and happiness along with my own needs first. That I have helped them and if they cant help themselves when I am busy OH Well! Get over it.

I am a good person. Who deserves to be happy. To move forward in a positive way. So now its on them. I am refocusing on staying positive regardless. For their lack of planning isnt my emergency! Missy's saying here! LOL Just love it.

This is written to show you the chaos I go thru. That despite it all I am not going to ALLOW any one of them to stop me from doing what I need to do and making myself happy. A learning lesson of life. So if you think you cant refocus or get out of the nonsense of whatever, just know if I can so can you!

Have a great day!:) For I intend too because it drives those others up a wall! LOL

Now what do you think?

19 replies

ston3xc 2011-09-30 13:08:49 -0500 Report

Good for you!!!! Before you were just an enabler, no one ever learns how to be self- sufficient if everything is done for them. It's just easier to do it if that person is yelling and screaming at you, because THEY don't want to do it, or they feel they are being negleted. Tell them to get a life!!! Hugs to you!!

Jan8 2011-09-30 09:47:38 -0500 Report

I have had to do the same thing Tsal, for my own good. It took a while but the kids and everyone finally gets it! I have gained more consideration and respect for it.

ali315 2011-09-30 01:22:27 -0500 Report

thats amazing and you are so right you need to take care of your self before any one else and if your not being appreciated nor have your family on your side its their loss not yours you do what you need to do not what they want you to do always defend your self even if its your own family I know it hurts but hey maybe they just need to learn how to do things for themselves.so good for you enjoy your life be happy and may God Bless you.

TsalagiLenape 2011-09-30 06:37:17 -0500 Report

This is to show what I go thru and how I work it out. So if I can why not anyone else? Mind you some of us may need counselling and etc but its all towards the good. My family is learning finally that I am doing what I must for myself first. Not being selfish about it, just that I take care of them and if I am not up to par who will do whatever. So thank you for your kind words encouragement. By the way they know how but think I should be just happy doing whatever whenever sit by the phone or wait hand and foot on them. Well guess what? Today isnt good and Tomorrow doesnt look any better! LOL Hugs Blessings

Douglas51 2011-09-29 23:04:44 -0500 Report

Hmm all that sound way to familiar. If my daughter had said that her phone would be gone as far as your husband go buy him a cook book and apron and let him know that house hold chores are shared responsibility. As for you take time to get away like maybe getting a massage or a day spa go out and pamper yourself and if you have a cell phone turn it off. I really do feel for ya. Douglas

TsalagiLenape 2011-09-30 06:39:57 -0500 Report

Thank you Wanishi Wado Douglas! My daughter can stuff her phone. She has found out the hard way, that you tick me off I dont do nada for you whatsoever. LOL The husband used to be my partner but that ended almost four years ago. Even he admits it. Now he just wants to be left alone without anyone around. But he will find out to his everlasting sorrow that things will change and he can deal with it. I do go to Native American Pow Wows hence my get a ways for now. When the season ends then I will do something else. Hugs Temi

mebetty 2011-09-28 03:46:35 -0500 Report

THAT IS WONDERFUL!!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! I have been a caretaker all of my life and it is draining! NO ONE can take care of you but YOU. I need to send you a huge hug of congratulations. Family members will just keep abusing your good heart and caring without realizing how encumbering it can get.

TsalagiLenape 2011-09-28 07:36:08 -0500 Report

So true on the draining that you believe that you have no worth and thus only "good enough" to serve them. If they stopped and realized what would happen if I wasnt doing nothing where they would be! LOL Hugs

AutoX 2011-09-27 19:37:31 -0500 Report

I think we all have had days where others expect you to drop everything to do what they want NOW. I know that I have also been on the other end, guilty of wanting things from others. We all need to learn to be mature adults and realize other folks have their own priorities and work through it. We also need to do what you mentioned, take responsibility for our own happiness.

jayabee52 2011-09-27 18:29:06 -0500 Report

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, (from) This is My Story

It is good to refocus and reframe what has happened to you and put it in your past.


TsalagiLenape 2011-09-28 07:34:21 -0500 Report

Thank you Wanishi Wado Jayabee! Hugs

granniesophie 2011-09-27 11:09:43 -0500 Report

Sounds like these are all adults who need to take responsiblility for their ownselves! Don't let them push you around or take advantage of you. You Go Girl!! :)