Where do I start? Most of you know, that in addition to diabetes, I have SAD and clinical depression. Are they related? I don't think so, but they sure can be interlocked. My depression and SAD are medically controlled, for the most part. I still have bouts of depression from fleeting to prolonged. I have analyses what is going through my head during these times and I find a few different categories. One is situational, such as a death of a loved one, divorce, job loss, financial stress, etc. Second, I classify as chemical imbalance. This, of course, is a guess on my part, since I can not see it or measure it. Third is worry. The funny thing with this is that I find myself worrying about what might happen, tomorrow or next month, about things I have very little control over. Example, my wife has told me she will be leaving me the beginning of October. There are a host of things for me to worry about, most of which I can do very little, if anything about. She said she never should have married that she does not know how to be in a relationship. She is right and I can't change that, even after 20 years. At times when I am in the dumps, I feel that God has abandoned me. The good thing is, in my mind, I know He has not. So what do you think and feel when dealing with depression? In my early 20's I often thought of terminating my life. This was before I was diagnosed and on meds. Now, I look back and am so glad I didn't. I would have never heard the words, "Pop-Pop, can you read me a story?"
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