depression and overcoming the failure syndrome

By Benitabeaux Latest Reply 2011-09-04 20:12:00 -0500
Started 2011-09-02 16:55:08 -0500

After over 45 years, of wht I call our family curse, I can finally say that I have more control over the disease. I have retired and can focus on me now…I am like so many Mom's out there I was so busy I could not recognize my own needs, or symptoms, it didn't matter how I felt…the kids had to be fed, there were football, and baseball and track practices etc…things had to go on…so I pushed thru…my George foreman grill has been my life saver, I grill everything, veggies etc, I even make eggplant parmisian with it…There is something about those grill marks that make it taste better. Attitude is everything…depression only makes it worse, you move slower, and don't burn those calories…take a look at yourself…you are important…like who you are…which includes your sugar problem. Don't let yourself have a pityparty when you can't eat what your friends do…your life is all you have you can't live theirs nor would you really want to…your family is the most precious gift, and your gift to them is being there for their special events and having your own memories and active lifestyle.

14 replies

robertoj 2011-09-03 02:24:27 -0500 Report

I love my mom; she is such a sweet and giving person. But she should have taken better care of herself. Not only did she care for and nurture us; she took on our burdens. I believe that she suffered from depression. I know that she did not take care of her diabetes. She does better now but she had to have her toes amputated. God bless all the wonderful moms out there. Remember it is just as important to take good care of yourselves as it is to care for your families.

riquelskyy 2011-09-02 20:42:19 -0500 Report

I totally understand the whole depression situation. I'm only 20 and have been diagnosed with sevre depression. I've had many family problems and to top it off I was diagnosed with type 1 when I was 15 and that didn't help at all. I take antidepressants and go to therapy. And I feel somewhat better. Anywho this post was about you and I'm glad thar you have overcome this obstacle. =)

Benitabeaux 2011-09-02 21:06:41 -0500 Report

Join a club, or begin to walk…it will break the blues…at first you might not get the change, sart off slow, and add weekly to the distance, enjoy the moment meditate, and breathe. Take some water and some hard candy with you in case of emergency. For grins take your blood sugar before and after the walk.

riquelskyy 2011-09-02 21:12:06 -0500 Report

Yeah I do yoga. It helps alot. I'm a beginner beginner. Lol. I've been sick and lost a lot of my strength so it's hard but it helps with the depression.

Anonymous 2011-09-02 19:41:28 -0500 Report

This morning when I got up I wanted to die. I have struggled all day long, reasoning with myself, telling myself that I'm needed. So depressed that I almost didn't care anymore. I am so tired of everything. I have it in my hand to end it all but somehow I made it through another minute, another hour, another hour, on and on. I began to read through several post here on DC. I came to this post and for some reason it helped me to feel better. It's not about food for me in itself. It's everything wrapped up in one bundle. I know I can make it through another day. I'll just begin to peel off the layers of this depression and throw them away until nothing is left but me and everything thats good about my life.

Benitabeaux 2011-09-02 21:12:58 -0500 Report

I do know where you are coming from…on my last job the US air force, they weighed me every week and then accused me of cheating if I varied from one week to the next…being young I didn't think about water gain, periods, and hormonal changes, and constipation etc…I just got depressed because I thought they thought I was binging on whole cakes etc…then I'd really get depressed and starve myself to make weigh -ins and then feel so alone and deprived I would binge, because I 'd think what's the use…my own husband thought my body was repulsive…it's so hard when you feel alone…emaile if you need a kind word small

Doryian 2011-09-02 19:24:40 -0500 Report

As a newly diagnosed diabetic on insulin (about 4 weeks ago) - I'm trying to squash down the guilt. Guilt for taking time from my "chores" and family to test, eat on this crazy schedule, administer insulin, etc. Guilt for taking our family resources and spending $75+ a month out of the budget for medicines & supplies. This money could definitely go toward a fun family activity instead of just me. And guilt for just being inside my own head all of the time. Worried about numbers past & present, worried about finances, worried about a food plan, etc… I have always put my needs behind everything else the family needs - so it's weird to be putting myself first & sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the guilt… Thanks for sharing!

jayabee52 2011-09-02 22:39:31 -0500 Report

you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others, Doryan! How far would that $75. go should you get very sick or die? I suspect that your family would want YOU, not that money!

Doryian 2011-09-03 06:47:40 -0500 Report

I know what you write is true. But logic often-times does not "mesh" with emotions. I keep telling myself this and try to stay "focused." Just try to distract myself with the details when I get blue. This is all a new adjustment. I'm hoping the emotional guilt will fade over time. <3

jayabee52 2011-09-03 18:13:28 -0500 Report

ask your family would they rather have YOU, or $75. instead. I expect you would get an emotional reaction from the children.

Benitabeaux 2011-09-02 20:59:48 -0500 Report

Learning to forgive yourself is so very hard …but do it…I am a Christian, and if Christ can forgive all; who am I not to follow His example…pick yourself up, each day anew…and love yourself enough to do what is right for you to be healthy.