Liers and Facebook

margokittycat
By margokittycat Latest Reply 2011-09-02 14:02:55 -0500
Started 2011-08-24 10:41:53 -0500

Ok I just have to vent because my blood is boiling so bad it is not even funny. Does anyone belong to facebook. I recently went in a set up an account but do not have it active all the time just because of some people that are on it. I was on it just before I came over her and my mom is on it and I am looking at the entire thing that she has up on her wall and claims how she is such a family person and loves to do things with family.. She list me on there and claims i live in Omaha NE, NOT. She claims how she spend sall this time with her family and does all these activities with family. B—-S—-! She list everyone except our spouses on there, does not even care that I don't live where she says and then says she spends all this time with family. I moved to Nebraska after my first divorce because my parents were here and I had support 4 years ago my mom wanted to move packed up and left and did not even tell me they were moving this was when I was going through my second divorce. She comes up but never spends time with us. Two years ago they came up for family vacation and she invited us to the baseball game on the 4th we went she told my kids they were doing all this fun stuff while her becaus eshe had my brother and hu=is entire family. She promised my kids she would call and let us know when they wee going to each of these things so the kids could go as well, she never did. The night before they were to leave to go home, we went to meet them for super and after super she hands me claim tickets and asked me to go to Omaha and pick up pottery that all the girls had went and made and done infront of my daughter whom she promised to take. My daughter was in tears.

I JUST WANT SO BADLY TO PST AL OVER HER FACEBOOD WHAT A LIER SHE IS AND THAT SHE ONLY HAS 1 CHILD NOT TWO BECAUSE SHE ACTS LIKE I DON'T EXIXT.

Sorrrrrrrrrrrry just had to get that out.


80 replies

Robin052
Robin052 2011-09-02 13:26:37 -0500 Report

Margo,

I'm so sorry that you have gone through all that crap. I don't understand why people say or do the things they do but I'm trying to learn to let go of a lot of it. There is enough bad in this world and I refuse to be a part of it. I am on Facebook and block people who I don't want to listen to. I am also on Twitter and do the same there. I take News fasts and not watch the news for a day or so, unless it effects people I know like hurricanes or tropical storms.

I know you get things off your chest here and that is awesome. Have you ever thought of journaling? I do it at night before bed. I get it all off my chest and try to get some "peaceful" sleep. Most of the time I read in bed and I read books that take me away from reality. They are about vampires, witches, etc..I'm totally hooked. Let me know if you think journaling is for you. I'd be interested to see if it helps you.

Hugs,
Robin

thr3ddzgirl
thr3ddzgirl 2011-08-29 21:06:31 -0500 Report

Margo, I am so sorry you had to see that. Your mother brought you up to be a better person than she is. My heart goes out to you.
I thought my mother and I were close, but about a month ago she called and told me their house had been up for sale for about six weeks and they had sold and the movers were coming on Friday, and she and Daddy were moving to Alabama. I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks (even my husband doesn't know this). And then when they moved to Alabama, they didn't think to call for three weeks!!! We don't have their cell phone numbers and Daddy keeps his off all the time anyway, they did not send us email address or snail mail address or anything…They had gone to a baseball game, and on a trip to some museum or garden or something, and had gone gambling and had all sorts of fun, and never thought to call and say they had got to Alabama okay and when they bought a house (or whatever, I don't even know if they bought a house) or anything. So once again, another "friend" moves or disappears and doesn't bother to tell me at all. Did I get cooties last summer, when I lost my best friend and then my next best friend and now my Mom? What gives?

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-29 21:37:39 -0500 Report

I have to agree with the did I get cooties. My mothe did the same things as you know and my aunt was the one who aked me if I knew she moved. It took my mom 7 months to give me any information and when she did I was just like REALLY. Now it does not really matter because there is no relationship there and I have done all I can so if she wants a relationship she has to come to me and prove that she wants one. I will be able to tell if it's fake or not I have gotten to use to her ways and her games. Good luck to you and sorry to hear you had to go through the same thing.

Mickie G
Mickie G 2011-08-26 22:54:05 -0500 Report

I am sorry that you have been disrespected and hurt like that by your mom. I can say that i will pray that your hurt eases. I believe that you need to do a some thinking. What do you want most? Do you want to expose her to those on facebook? Do you want her to acknowledge what she is doing/done? Do you want an apology? I have had a very similar relationship with my sister for most of my life. I wasted so much time and energy on that dysfunctional female. I started counseling and have realized that I can't make her be or do anything she isn't willing to do or be.
What I can do is limit her power and effect in my life by working on myself and my FAMILY. I have limited her access to my kids (none at all) and told her exactly why. I told her how I felt and why I felt she was not an appropriate role model for my kids. I told her that I wasn't going to let her do to my kids what I had allowed her to do to me and that I would pray for her. That I was going to leave her in gods hands and let him deal with her. It was empowering. I don't know how far you would want to go, but again that would be up to you. I put the well being( mentally speaking) of my kids first and it made my choice easy. I believe that family is more than blood, I believe family starts in the heart. I hope that you find your way and I will so pray for you!!

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-27 08:40:16 -0500 Report

I THANK YOU FOR THE ADVISE. THAT IS WHAT HAS HAPPENED SHE HAS NO CONTACT WITH MY CHILDREN OR ME. I DO WHAT I DO FOR MY FAMILY AND MYSELF THAT IS MY MAIN CONSERN AND NOT HER DISFUNCTIONAL LYING SELF.

Mickie G
Mickie G 2011-08-27 23:17:51 -0500 Report

Sounds like you have made some progress to moving on. I know it was not easy to make the decision, but kudos to you for choosing your family and a good life. I will keep praying for you and hope to hear from you soon.

Robin052
Robin052 2011-08-25 21:11:22 -0500 Report

Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that crap with your mother. By the way, I am on Facebook. So I was trying to follow your story and I got the point that your mother is clueless, but do you live in Omaha now? Are you an only child? I got a little confused because you mentioned a brother or is it you felt like your brother was an only child, according to your mother? Maybe it's me because I'm feeling a little angry at a "friend" right now and not thinking straight.

Well one thing I can say is that she has a lot of nerve handing you claim tickets for pottery she did with the other kids, not your daughter, and wanting you to pick them up. I'm sorry but that takes a lot of balls. I agree with AZnana(where in AZ by the way?) that you should see a counselor. I just started last week with a psychologist. I sat down and within 4 minutes she had to hand me a box of tissues. I have a total opposite problem. My dad passed in 1990, my mom(who was my best friend in the world and I was a caregiver to) passed in 2001 and my brother(who became my best friend after mom was gone) passed 3/17/09 in my arms and he was only 50. So I am all alone and don't have any friends here in AZ. I have one who lives on the other side of the valley. I have 2 dogs, one was my mom's. If it weren't for them, I think I'd check out of this life to go be with my family. I suffer from panic disorder and depression. They have no clue where this panic disorder came from but have been on meds for it and have been great until I lost my mom. Been changing depression meds for years now and the last one was giving me anxiety. Got weened off that and back on to the original one. Don't think they have kicked in yet because I feel like strangling everyone, LOL.

I know I digressed and sorry about that but your story brought up a lot. Do you know of a good counselor or anyone you know that sees one? That would be my first step because it sounds like there is a lot going on in the background there, and you need to get to the bottom of it.

Keep us updated and don't let it effect your health.

Robin

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 21:25:41 -0500 Report

Robin, I am so sorry to hear about your loss of all your family. I am always here ifyou ever need to talk. Thank you I do have a brother. My mother acts like he is her only child. And yes that does take nerve to give claim tickets and ask me to go pick up thier things. No, I do not live in Omaha and never have. I moved to Nebraska after my divorce from my kids dad who by the way is just like my mother, but I moved an hour away from Omaha and live in the country. I do not like living in the city am a country girl always have been always will be. My grandparents lived in the contry and took care of me a lot they had horses and I would just ride and ride and ride. Never liked the city to busy to noise and all that other jazz. I am a simple girl not high amintance and never will be. I love my wrangler jeans and western shirts or anything John Deere cowboy boots in the fall and winter sandles in the summer my feet do not like heat or getting hot.
I do see a counselor along with my children every other week and it has done wonders.

AZnana2twins
AZnana2twins 2011-08-25 18:18:27 -0500 Report

Hi! I am so sorry that you have to go through this with your mother. Mine was very abusive, also. Physically, emotionally and there was sexual abuse that she was aware of and did nothing. I have been in counseling for years, but I did break the cycle of abuse. I highly recommend a good counselor to help you with all of this. This is terrible to say, but the day my mother died, was such a relief, like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I had to grieve the loss of a mother that I never had. Don't give her the power of making yourself sick or bitter, just know that one day there will be justice for you. Due to all of my trauma, it has made me over the years very hyper-sensitive and over reactive to things that trigger memories that are similar to what goes on in my life today. It took years for me to really understand why I am so sensitive to other people's criticism and put that on myself. It has caused problems with my son who is the father of my twin grandsons, to the point that he doesn't
want me in ther lives too much, even though, I have never been over reactive around the twins at all and I love them so very much and we always have fun together. My son has told lies about me and during past years, he has always said how he was spoiled and we always had a good relationship, except for one incident.
He continues to lie about what happened to his Dad, who is my ex-husband and other family members as well as his wife's family now. His sister in law approached me, two different times in the past 6 months and said that she didn;t feel like the rest of the family and that I was always welcome in her home and made me feel like she was supportive of me. Boy, was I wrong! I trusted her and we were facebook
friends and I just asked if she had seen my grandsons lately as she is around my son and his family a lot. She went off on me, on facebook and embarrassed me to death, so I repied no comment, except for the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about and that I was taking her off my FB friends list, then temporarily closed my facebook account because I was not going to say anymore to her as she obviously was either trying to set me up to cause more problems with my son and his wife. She is not worth responding or conversing with anymore and if you respond to people like this, you give them power over you. I am taking her power away, and not giving her anything to twist and try to make things worse. This whole thing has been going on since my son and his now wife started dating, before that my son and I were fine. My daughter in law comes from a family that is very judgemental and don't let a lot of people into their circle, unless you are immediate faimily. I was shocked when I was invited to the twins 1st Birthday party in June. I live in Phoenix
now and they live in Kansas City. I flew back for 8 days and got to see the twins at the B-day party and once they met my daughter and I at a restaurant, but was not invited to spend anymore time with the boys. It is so odd, because my son always hugs me and says he loves me, but when I am not right in front of him, he won't answer text messages, emails or phone calls. I have spent so many days and nights crying and wondering why this is happening to me when I was such a good mother to him and love him unconditionally and then there was my mother who was so abusive and I treated her way better as she got older than my son does me. I know his dad and step mom has said things about me in the past as my daughter overheard
them and they are complete lies and it just hurts so badly, that people want to hurt others who just want to get along for the sake of the children in the family and now grandchildren. I don't understand how they can tell these lies and act so innocent except for the fact that they are just pathological liars and psychopaths. My son had a problem telling lies as he was growing up, but I thought he would grow out of it, but his father also was one that when telling about any event would always exaggerate the truth and thougt nothing of it. We divorced because of his cheating that lead to other things and his drinking and he refused to go to counseling. He jokes about everything just like his father did and they both talked about my husbands mother and would say horrible things and I would tell them to stop, it wasn't funny, but they would tell people all kinds of things she had done when she was an alcoholic. She had stopped drinking when I knew her and she was a very giving and wonerful person, but when her son and I divorced she turned on me, too and believed whatever lie my ex-husband made up. I guess by telling you all of this, don't do what your mother does, try to stay calm and collected and don't reply to people that say ugly things, but take the higher road and know that God is there with you and that you know the truth. If you don't take part in your mother's craziness, pretty soon, she can't say anything more and if she does, just laugh about it and it's okay to cry once in a while, just don't let it destroy you as it has almost done to me several times. I just have wanted to die at times, I hurt so badly because I just cannot believe my beautiful little baby boy has turned into this man and let his wife and family turn him against me, my husband and the rest of my family.
They let my daughter see the twins, by appointment only, maybe once every month or so! God, I never believed this would happen to me after I worked so hard not to be like my mother, but sometimes I wonder if I was too easy with him and he took advantage of it. I don't understand what he is getting out of this by hurting me and he knows it is, because I told him that, but he doesn't care and refuses to discuss anything and they just control everything. They probably throw things away that I buy for the boys, which has been a lot and I have yet to see the boys in anything I have bought them in pictures or in person.
You have my best wishes in this difficult situation and just know that there are many of us out here that care and I will always be a support in any way I can. God Bless You!

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 18:31:55 -0500 Report

I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ALL OF YOUR STORY THAT IS TERRIBLE WHAT YOUR SON AND THEN HIS SISTER IN LAW STARTED DOING. I WENT THROUGH YEARS OF COUNSELING AND I'M BETTER FOR IT. THOUGH I DO AGREE WITH YOU BECAUSE OF ALL THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE I AM VERY SENSATIVE ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS AND I TOO FEEL IT IS FROM MY PAST. I SPEAK TO OUR PASTOR A LOT AND HE ALWAYS MAKES ME SEE THAT WHAT I AM DOING IS OK, NOT LETTING IT GET TO ME NOT RESPONDING TO THE GAMES MY MOTHER TRIES TO PLAY ON ME AND EVERYTHINGELSE. I FEEL FOR YOU I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I DID NOT GET TO SEE MY GRAND SON.

AZnana2twins
AZnana2twins 2011-08-25 19:40:39 -0500 Report

I just keep praying that God will reach my son and help him to see what he has to know is the truth and that others in his life are trying to poison his mind with hate and judgemental ways. I just can't give up on him, he is my only son and those two little precious boys, my only grandchildren. I have faith that one day he will come around. His wife, I am not sure as she is an atheist and one of the coldest, hateful people I have ever met. It is like she doesn't have a conscience!
The day they got married she did not speak one word to me and usually doesn't ever and I have tried so hard to let her know that I want to get to know her and I want a good realtionship, but she won't give me a chance. She kind of reminds me of my mother and how she would act to people that she didn't like. But, to say something good about my daughter-in-law, she seems to be a loving and great mother to the boys. I just worry that when they get older and if they do something she doesn't like, will she be so nice? Never in my life would I have dreamed my later years in life would be like this. I am thinking about checking out the Foster Grandparenting program the have here and maybe by giving other children my love that don't have grandparents, that I would be helping them and making life a bit easier for me at the same time.
Good for you, that you talk to your pastor; I feel better as I thought you were turning what your Mother did onto yourself and I know that is not good. Take care and hope your Diabetes is under good control.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-26 21:18:10 -0500 Report

Thank you for the post. I think that Foster Grandparent program would be a great thing. As you said you could give love to children who don't have grandparents and I really do think it would give you some theraputic needs of your own. As I said I do not know what I would do if I was not able to see my grandson or talk to any of our 7 children. It would be heart breaking to say the least. God Bless you for all the love that you have and go share it.

sheriden
sheriden 2011-08-25 16:57:39 -0500 Report

I have tryed to post my reply this is my third time I keep louseing the page. This post realy touches home for me as I have the same mother that is to say they are so alike. I'm sory to here that you have this heartake also. here is what I have done. I put my boundries up and do not let her cross in to my life with other loved ones. She and my youngest son are alot alike the son dose not know what boundries are and dose not want to be toled he can not be around unless he is willing to be respectfull to others. They both run around telling big lies to not only their friends but the friends of the one they are mad at. Even try to break up couples. I is so afful my one of my brothers has only been seen once 27 years ago at our older brothers funral. He wants nothing to do with our mom so she goes around telling lies like he is on drugs and dose not want her to know. I makes me ill to have no communication with my own brother, yet I do understand his wish not to be appart of the abuse it hurts to much. My mom has hurt all of my children also. Only one has contact with her and would you not know it it is the one she hatted the most and hurt the most. But even she has set her boundries. Maby if you Just had very little contact and tryed to keep her appart from the rest of your family and friends. As far as facebook you can just call her on things like mom you know very well I do not live there I live here lol. in a nice but firm way she will be to embarassed to keep it up. I toled my mom that she was only welcom in my life w/o any of the other family being involved. She did not like it and did not try for a long time to be in that part of my life and I just kept quiet. Now she knows and we don't talk much twice in two years and that in the last two months. Witch is way better for me. She is old and I need to keep that door open but again with very strict boundries. My son also hurts to the core but I have to take care of my health stress and drama are not good for our helth. So goes it. If you ever need any thing let me know I know your anger and pain. May God bring change soften hearts and convict those who are wrong in hurtting their own children. And may God bless you and yours with healing and lots of his love.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 17:10:01 -0500 Report

IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY MOTHER. THANKS I LOVE THAT PEOPLE KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. ALTHOUGH I HATE THAT OTHERS HAVE WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING. IT HURTS BUT WE DO WHAT WE DO AND GET OVER IT.

RAINDANCER1950
RAINDANCER1950 2011-08-25 16:51:33 -0500 Report

I AM ON FB AND THE EXPERIENCE , HAS , FOR THE MOST PART…OKAY…SEE FAMILY…FRIENDS…SHARE PICTURES…EVENTS…ETC…SOMEHOW…SOME FOLKS THING IT'S ALSO A MEDIA FOR SAYING REALLY HURTFUL THINGS…LYING…AND BEING JUST DANG NASTY !!…REMEMBER , MARGO…ALL THE WORDS IN THE WORLD CAN NOT SHAKE , WHAT YOU KNOW IS THE TRUTH…IN THE END…SHE WILL REGRET HER WAYS…IN THE LAST YEARS OF MY MOM'S LIFE…I AM SURE ,SHE REGRETED ALL THE BRIDGES SHE BURNED…RIGHT UP TO THE DAY , SHE TOOK HER OWN LIFE…YOU CAN NOT LET HER MAKE YOU BITTER…LET IT GO…FOR IN TIME…ALL WITH BE REVEALED…AND THE TRUTH WILL STAND FOREVER…AND SHE MAY FIND , IN HER DECLINING YEARS…HOW MUCH SHE HAS LOST , BY HURTING YOU SO DEEPLY…I FEEL YOUR SUFFERING…BEEN THERE…BUT LOOK TOWARDS THE FUTURE…PAST IS DEAD…LEAVE IT THERE…HOLD YOUR SELF ABOVE ALL LIES…BE TRUE TO YOURSELF…YOUR LIFE …YOU LOVES…AND EMBRACE THE WONDERFUL PERSON YOU ARE BECOMING…NO LIMITS…TAKE STEPS TO LEAD YOU FORWARD…YOU WILL SUCCEED.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 17:02:37 -0500 Report

tHANK YOU THE WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS MEAN A GREAT DEAL JUST TO KNOW i AM NOT CRAZY AND i AM DOING THE RITE THING BY IGNORING IT ALL AND JUST LIVING MY LIFE AND NOT LOOKING BACK. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-08-25 13:49:07 -0500 Report

Oh, the wonders of FB. Like everything else, there are both good and bad sides of it. Margo, it sounds like mom is really screwed up and is living her life like she wishes it could be. Now, my problem with responding to you is that if I were you, I would, after I settled down, have some fun with it. Remember, this is not me writing this, but the other side of my personality that I try to keep hidden. I am not responsible for what follows!
Thank Mom, on FB, for the wonderful vacation that she provided for your family and for the great Christmas gifts. Thank her for the quality time she spends with you and the grand kids. Don't do this all at once, make it the Chinese torture test. Why? 1) it will drive her nuts 2) it will help you see how much fun you can have messing with her mind!
Heck, help her create other children on line, like your twin older brothers and your youngest Opps sister. You will find this much more fun than calling her a liar on FB and exposing her. she will have no idea what you are doing!
If you didn't live so far away, I would introduce you to my Mom. she is great and you would be, with your kids a welcomed addition to the extended family. Mom & Dad had 6 kids and about another 1/2 dozen who are our "extended" brothers & sisters.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 15:31:11 -0500 Report

How wonderful your parents sound. I would love to meet you all if I as you said did not live so far away. Thank you for making me smile.

mamagloria11
mamagloria11 2011-08-25 12:01:11 -0500 Report

I have some family members who act like they care for me and the kids but never visit us so I can understand the anger. What I decided to do was give them a chance and we are doing better. I was also a child abuse survivor. You are right to focus on your immediate family and the Lord will deal with your mom. He loves u so much and wants a relationship with you. Praying for you.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 15:31:48 -0500 Report

Thank you. I gave my mother a second chance years ago and was a child of sexual abuse by a step father and when it came out my moter called me a lier about it. When I was old enough and on my own I sought help for the abuse because I had big issues. During this process I had to write a letter to my mother about the abuse and her not believing me she still called me a lier how funny though because 5 years after that he was arrest and sent to prison for sexually abussing his own to daughters during visitations. God does take care of all.

RAINDANCER1950
RAINDANCER1950 2011-08-25 16:36:01 -0500 Report

DEAR FELLOW ABUSE SURVIVOR…LIFE IS NOT DEFINED BY THOSE NIGHTMARE EVENTS FROM YOUR PASS ,UNLESS YOU ALLOW THEM…FOR MANY YEARS I SUFFERED PROFOUND DEPRESSION…EVEN THOUGH , I WAS A MENTAL HEALTH CARE WORKER… I NEARLY DIED…IN THE DARKEST DAYS OF MY SICKNESS, BY MY OWN HAND !…I WAS RAPED , BY ONE OF MY MOTHER'S "BOYFRIEND'S AT 7 YEARS OF AGE, TERRIFIED,,,THAT I WAS TO BLAME ! "YOU KNOW THE KIND…A NEW ONE EVERY NIGHT…SHE WAS PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR…AND HE TOOK THAT TIME TO ATTACK ME…
I NEVER TOLD HER…BECAUSE…SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME…AND FAILED…MY GRANDPARENTS , WERE MY SAVIORS, THEN…BUT , AS I GREW OLDER…THE DARKTIMES CAME…AND NEARLY DESTROYED ME !
LIFE HAS A WAY…OF LETTING YOU SEE , THERE ARE BETTER DAYS…MY GUIDE TO A BETTER , BRIGHTER LIFE …CAME IN THE FORM , OF A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY…NOW 42 YEARS OLD…WITH WONDERFUL SON'S I ADORE !
HAD I BEEN SUCESSFUL…I WOULD HAVE MISSED THEIR LIVES…AND THE WONDERFUL LIFE I HAVE HAD…YOU NEVER HAVE TO ALLOW YOUR MOM TO DENY YOU VICTORY…BECAUSE SHE DENIES THE TRUTH…THE VICTORY IS ALREADY YOUR DEAR FRIEND…IT IS YOU LIFE…AND ONLY YOU…CAN SEE WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LIFE IT CAN BE…DON'T LOOK BACK…DON'T TRY TO MAKE YOUR MOM A BELIVER…YOU MUST UNDERSTAND…RIGHT NOW SHE CAN NOT ,ADMIT THE TRUTH…BECAUSE IF SHE DOES !
SHE HAS TO ACCEPT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU , WAS CAUSED BY HER BRINGING A MAN INTO YOUR LIFE…WHO WAS NOT THE MAN HE NEEDED TO BE…TO ADMIT THAT , SHE HAS TO ADMIT, SHE FAILED YOU, WHEN YOU NEEDED HER THE MOST…AND LIKE MY MOTHER…SHE NEVER WILL…MY MOTHER'S DEMONS CAUGHT UP WITH HER AT LAST…AND SADLY…SHE TOOK HER OWN LIFE…I MOURN HER…AND THE RELATIONSHIP…AND MOTHER , I NEVER KNEW…AND NEVER HAD…YOU STAND TALL…WALK FORWARD…CLAIM YOUR LIFE…LOVE YOURSELF…YOU GO GIRL !! BRENDA

swanslake54
swanslake54 2011-08-25 11:28:55 -0500 Report

I just came across this, hopefully, it will give you some comfort.
TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
So many people in this day and age never received the blessing from their mother or father. They never felt like they received the approval and encouragement they so deeply desired. If that’s you today, the good news is that when you receive Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you become His child. Your earthly father may not have given you his blessing, but your heavenly Father is rejoicing over you! He’s saying, “I’m proud of you. I love you. You are amazing. You are talented. You are beautiful. You’re going to do great things in life!” He’s releasing favor and hope into your future.
Today, no matter what’s happened in your past, no matter what anybody else has said to you or about you, know that your Father God loves you with an everlasting love. He’s proud of you, and He is singing over you. Receive His love today. Receive His approval today. Receive hope today. Have confidence and strength to move forward because you have the blessing of your heavenly Father

swanslake54
swanslake54 2011-08-25 10:30:06 -0500 Report

I'm sorry that you are so hurt by your mom's action but don't let the anger consume you, for it can. Your mom is who she is and you have to accept that, thankfully your husband's family is there for your kids. I know it's hard but work on forgiving her, ask God for his help. Maybe you feel desserted by her but she did give you life. As a grandmother, I know that she's really missing out.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 11:03:08 -0500 Report

Thank you for the advise.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-08-25 13:53:40 -0500 Report

Okay, so his advice is better to follow than mine, but mine is more fun. Swanslake is dead on. so often our earthly parents fall far short of who we need them to be.
The Father is ALWAYS there for you and He beckons you to climb up on His lap and know that you are loved, unconditionally. Jim

Marytea
Marytea 2011-08-25 09:00:20 -0500 Report

Wow. You have quite a load to bear. Please try to find a way to blow off that anger in a positive way. There is no accounting for family. They are what they are but you are who you are. Be strong and keep your eyes on the good things in your life.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 09:33:45 -0500 Report

Thank you that is what I do everyday. Have for many of years my family has never been a family. But I have my own family now and that is what I focus on.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-09-02 12:09:17 -0500 Report

Hey Margo, I am back from the Hurricane area. You know, the changes you make will effect your kids and grandkids and you will begin to break the cycle

VickieF
VickieF 2011-08-24 23:53:28 -0500 Report

So sorry you are going through all of this, marg­okit­tyca­t. All I can say is I have family that likes the Drama way to much to suit me. I have decided not to let them hurt me any more. I do not talk to them. As much as that hurts it hurts much less than the Drama they create.
Vickie

Gwen Morten
Gwen Morten 2011-08-24 21:50:49 -0500 Report

I have a fb page and yes people on there can say anything and not get flag alot of times! fb is nothing like dc! If that was my mom I would do the regular niceties and I wouldnt take anything she says for more than a grain of salt! I would tell my kids to do the same. since she decided to post lies openly I would bust her a** on her own fb page! Im not trying to get you to start more trouble in your family, thats just what I would do!! If you want to keep your fb page you can block your moms page so that you wont see any of her future lies. Good luck margokittycat with family woes! I feel your pain because I have them too!

RAINDANCER1950
RAINDANCER1950 2011-08-25 16:40:26 -0500 Report

LADIES…THERE ARE MANY OF US …SADLY , JUST AS WE ARE MANY…LIVING WITH THESE MEMORIES…EVEN NOW…A NEW GENERATION…OF YOUNG WOMEN WILL WALK IN OUR FOOTSTEPS…PRAY FOR ALL OF US…PRAY FOR THEM…BE AWARE…ALWAYS ALERT FOR YOUR OWN LOVED ONES…BOY ARE GIRL…THEY ARE BOTH AT RISK…

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 06:39:21 -0500 Report

I did think about that, however, I decided not to do that. I am a bigger person than she and I do not need to lie to make people think I am someone I am not.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2011-08-25 07:49:31 -0500 Report

I agree. By responding to her lies, you're only giving her recognition for her reprehensible behavior. She's creating this fantasy image of herself because she won't face who she really is. Nothing you can do or say will make that change. I think ignoring her postings will be more beneficial for you, in the long run.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 08:31:46 -0500 Report

Thank you. I am glad someone else agrees with me. My husband thinks I should post on her page and does not understand my reasoning for not doing that. I just wash my hands of all of it and my chldren are old enough now and actually see what she does or the lack thereof and they understand why there is not a relationship there.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-09-02 12:21:22 -0500 Report

Oh Margo, I still think you should have some fun with this. Help her create the family that she wanted, even if it is virtual. Remind her that the (non-existent) twins are doing well, and thank her for the great gifts she sends to you and the kids, and for the great vacation trip she provided for your family. Just take her lies and expand on them, and make her wonder. I guess I will just have to call your husband and get her FB name and do it myself! :)

robertoj
robertoj 2011-08-24 21:49:30 -0500 Report

I am one of only two people in huge family not on facebook. I have experienced the pain caused by the factually impaired and facebook makes it too simple. This is the type of thing that should be vented; the best thing to do now is let it go. You can't control what your mom posts or that others believe. I know it is hard to accept but the harder you try to fight it the more it hurts you.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-09-02 12:22:16 -0500 Report

I am on FB, but go there less than once a month. with my nieces, I was reading more information than I needed/wanted to know!

robertoj
robertoj 2011-09-02 14:02:55 -0500 Report

Some people just have no control. I would never say something to someone else that I wouldn't say to their face let alone post online. Somethings are best left unsaid period.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2011-08-24 21:06:09 -0500 Report

Ah, now I remember why I don't have a Facebook account. Sorry, but that is more drama then I would want to be involved with. People can post anything on the computer and it is sad that she has hurt you that way. I would not give her any power over you by responding to it. You don't want to make it worse by adding wood to the fire.

Venting...that is what we are here for!

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 08:33:47 -0500 Report

Thank you Gabby. You understand and I am so thankful for that. My kids understand and now and see how she is so they don't have a problem thier grandparents are 1/4 mile away from us and do all kinds of things with them as does the rest of my husbands family here. Thank god for them.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-24 17:02:51 -0500 Report

What's that old saying??? You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family??!! Sorry to hear it upsets you but sometimes there's nothing you can do!! Some people just HAVE to LIE to build themselves up to look good but you know what?? Sounds like YOUR the one who looks GOOD to me!! And I'm MORE sorry your daughter has to go through this!! I ALWAYS hated people who LIE to children!!! My kids father used to come visit them after we split on weekends till he got a new girlfriend and then just didn't show up for 6 months!! I hated him for that more than anything he had done to ME!!! Told him he had to decide whether he wanted to see them every weekend or not at all… He didn't have to answer all the questions…isn't Daddy coming?…did I do something wrong?…doesn't Daddy love us anymore?…it just broke my heart…he never showed up again…But ya know what?? His kids wouldn't give him the time of day now!! And it wasn't what I did, it's what HE DIDN'T do!!! Now he's missing out on the most beautiful grandchildren in the world!!! His loss!!! Anyway, keep your head up sounds like your an awsome Mom and Your Mom sounds like she's jealous of YOU!! Good Luck, your friend, Ellen :)

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-24 17:02:44 -0500 Report

You can pick your friends, Margo, but you can't pick your family.

Sounds like mom wants to have it both ways. I am sorry that is the way she chooses to live her life. But I would think that there are a few folks who see through her fibs but are too kind to call her on it.

Vent away! This is probably one of the safest places to do it.

James

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 08:40:54 -0500 Report

Thank you jayabee! My aunt my mothers twin sister for years tried to get her to see what she was doing up til the day she past away last year. I got a call from my dad that my aunt who was like a mother to me was in the hospital and it was not good, my husband and I rushed to her bedside. My mother was there and hog all the time during the day as my aunt was in ICU. But she left in the evenings and I stayed and I mean stayed at the hospital in my aunts room sleeping in the chair by her bedside. When they moved her to the regular floor todays later, she told me to go home, she knew as we al did that she would not last much longer but she wanted me to come back home to my children and get back to our family business that we run. They sent her home with hospice the next day and she passed away on Wednesday two days later. My aunt tried everything but my mother is never in the wrong everyone else is.

grandmaducky
grandmaducky 2011-08-24 16:31:44 -0500 Report

my mom is alot like your i am so sorry for you i know what you are going through but i told my mom i didn't think of her as my mom my grandma was my mom she took care of me when i went and live with my mom at 9 years of age went in to a foster home at 12 because of my mom and dad life is not fair just get through the best you can and don't do it to your kids is the best we can strive for

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 08:43:23 -0500 Report

I agree. My Aunt my moms twin sister was my mom and I told my mother that. She was the only one everythere for me. And I thank God everyday I had her. God Rest Her Soul. I know she is still watching over me from above as she is my family.

Cheryl*G
Cheryl*G 2011-08-24 15:38:18 -0500 Report

I think I know how you feel. My mom hated me all my life up until the last 2 years of her life then she kept telling me how much she loved me. I always loved my mom and I put up with her nasty remarks such as she wished I had died at birth and things like that. I took care of my mom the last 2 years of her life and I forgave her for what she put me through. I think it was all because my grandmother(my moms mom) hated my mom all her life. My grandmother told her that you only love your sons and not the daughters.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-24 15:43:23 -0500 Report

Cheryl I am sorry to hear that and am glad yu got over that. Your name reminds me of my Aunt the one that was like a mother to me her name to was CHERYL. Thank you!

Debbiejf
Debbiejf 2011-08-24 15:34:07 -0500 Report

That is just so sad that all of you have (or lack of) relationships such as they are within your families, it breaks my heart. I lost both of my parents years ago after I moved across the country and had to travel back to take care of the funerals etc. My mother had Alzheimers disease for about 4 years before I moved and my dad was recuperating well after cancer surgery. Although my brothers and I weren't neglected growing up we didn't have close relationships with them either. At least not until their health issues showed up. At that point it was difficult to kinow how to be close but we muddled through it. I regret moving so far away at that time but my dad insisted I live my own life and don't worry about them.

robertoj
robertoj 2011-08-24 21:55:35 -0500 Report

Your dad gave you good advice. Closeness is not a matter of distance. Even those of us that are close feel that we should be closer.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-24 15:40:47 -0500 Report

Sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. Thankfully I have my husbands parents who I call mom & dad. And even though my children are not my husbands children they treat them as though they are as does the rest of the family.

Snappy9r
Snappy9r 2011-08-24 15:22:57 -0500 Report

I find it disconcerting that I clicked the like button in that there is so much to dislike about your situation and relationship with your Mother. All I can say is that some folks mature later then others and are selfish. She could also be. Borderline narcissistic. Either way your best approach is to move on and fill yourlife with friends show your child how to have a good time fellowship with likeminded folks. And share these happy moments and outings with your Mom maybe she will then feel left out and get the point…or maybe not.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-24 15:36:11 -0500 Report

I do agree with you very much on this. My children have grown up very hppy. They know what family is and what family means by no example of my mother. I grew up with that and swore my children never would. We are very close to my husbands family and they are what family should be always there for oneanother and helping eachother out. I was very close to my moms twin sitter until she passed away last year and that just killed me she was like the mother I never had. I am close to my moms brothers as well. Thank you for the advise.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2011-08-24 12:49:21 -0500 Report

I am so sorry that your relationship (or lack of one) with your Mom is causing you so much grief. Unlike her, you sound very concerned for your children. I had a wonderful relationship with my Mom but have been estranged from my only brother for 6 years now and do not anticipate ever communicating with him again. I finally realized that I could not change his behaviors that were really upsetting me. I decided to accept that fact and stopped making any effort to include him in my life. Needless to say, I haven't heard a peep from him. When your Mom tells you that she won't come to visit because you cannot accommodate her, you might respond "Sorry Mom, we'll miss you but I understand your decision."…and just try to let it go at that. You can't really control or change other people's actions if they don't buy into the need to change. I wish you well and the strength to get through this.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-24 14:50:29 -0500 Report

Thank you. I actually have told my mother that before and her response was if you wanted us there you would get a bigger home. So I did let it go. My brother and I are the same as your and your. He does not want anything to do with me so I quit trying. All because our biological dad does not claim me since I was 9 and they said I was diabetic "I don't have diabetic kids" were his exact words then later on after my 1/2 sister was born it was " I don't have daughters".. I look at it this way he is missing out she has children and I have children and he knows none of them. Thank you for the support.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2011-08-25 07:44:43 -0500 Report

Good for you! Keep on trying to be the mother you wish you had for your children and the world will be richer for it. (Easier said than done, I can only imagine.) I stopped trying to understand and change my brother and took back control of my emotions. He does what he does (or doesn't do) and will reap the benefits or disasters of his actions…from my perspective, he's the poorer for it. Same for your Mom. Who knows what drives them?

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-25 08:47:38 -0500 Report

I have brought my children up the way I wished I was brought up. I show them the love and do things with them. I don't put them down for there fualts, I build them up and let them know they vcan do anything they want and achieve anything they dream.

Auburn Bill
Auburn Bill 2011-08-24 12:26:58 -0500 Report

Hi: I belong to facebook, but my "so called friends" do not write back! I go on every so often to see the latest BS, that's what this FACEBOOK is. Just another nasty way of sending time with the computer, instead of going out into the world to see your true friends Face to Face! Now, that's real life, not behind some keyboard banging away lies and "look at me" folks BSS!! Venting too, LOL, Grandpa Bill
Would U like to be a friend of mine??

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-08-24 12:18:20 -0500 Report

Some families just don't get it, mostly the parents. It's a shame you can't have a relationship with your mom. She is the loser. She doesn't know what she is missing by exxcluding you and your kids. Too bad. My advice is stay off her FB page. If you don't want her to know what's going on in your life you can block her from seeing your page. I joined FB to keep in touch with my grandkids.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-24 14:44:46 -0500 Report

I was on FB looking at the things my niece put up, that is how her and I stay in touch the most she is in college doing a triple major and getting married next summer and when I went to her it brought my moms thing up on the side, did not know she was on FB until today. I did block her I figure if she wants to know about and and know what going on she knows exactly where we are and how to contact us. It really upset my daughter who was confirmed in April when my mother said they were coming and never called to say they weren't but never shpwed up. My daughter did not get a card or anything from them in the mail. She sent my mom a letter a few weeks after. And never recieved a reply back.

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-08-24 15:35:46 -0500 Report

Those actions make me angry. But there's nothing you or I can do about it. Just pray that someday your mom will realize the mistake she is making. I know it hurts but you must make a life for you and yours. Maybe someday you will be able to sit down and talk it over. In the meantime, justr keep doing what you normally do.

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