I would like to write about an ongoing episode with my loved girlfriend which is going on these days. SHe has been diagnosed with type 1 eight years ago when being 22yrs old.
SHe is on the pump and usually able to manage very well with some ups and downs but no major incidents
The last weeks and specially the last days have been a roller coaster in which I am having a hard time knowing what to do…
Las week she woke up in a very bad mood, crying all day which went on for the whole weekend. We were able to make peace after having a fight as I didn't really understand what was going on and thought it was targeted against me. This happened after having a couple of weeks in which all was very good and really feeling she was there for me no matter what. She has been under a lot of stress the last month, and not really happy with her job and life in general and looking forward to make some changes.
the weekend was very rough until Sunday night in which she finally opened and told me she realizes again that she has does not have a regular life like other people do and that will be going on forever. She decided to take care of herself and go to an overnight clinic in which they would check the sugar/insulin to determine how her body reacts during sleep. I back her up very much in this decision and told her that no matter what, I am there for her and will not turn my back on her. I love her to pieces, she is a wonderful woman and I do see the rest of my life with her. Monday she had a nice day and we met in the evening and it was quite relaxed. I fell asleep over at her house and during the night she suddenly was remote again, not wanting to be close to me waking up all of a sudden and when i tried to relax her and touch her, she violently pushed my hand away. I kept my cold blood and went back to sleep in my corner, breathing deep and not taking it personal as I know it might be an after effect of the last rough days with maybe a high blood sugar reaction. She is very good at testing, eats healthy and usually really takes care of herself. Tue morning I left her place, she was very far and remote and barely able to speak or hug.
The only thing i heard from her since was a short sms to wish me a good night last night to which i replied with the same message. SHe knows how I feel about her, and i feel there is no need to again and again tell her how much i love her etc… I am 40 years old, (she is 30) and right now am standing in front of one of the biggest challenges life has ever presented me with. I have a good job, good friends, but honestly right now she is the only thing that I can think of. I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE, so please no comments such as run as long as you can, this is not an option!!. She is great, really amazing, I never met in my life a woman like her, and I really really hope we can go through this together. I am trying to stay remote, giving her the time she needs in order to figure out what brought this episode on her and feel that right now as much as I know that she loves me deeply, she cannot deal with the relationship. Very scared of losing her, and myself…
thanx for listening and I hope to find good and helpful answers, comments
peace love and good energy to all
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