I'm SSSOOOO tired of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nanaellen
By nanaellen Latest Reply 2011-08-16 08:23:11 -0500
Started 2011-08-12 15:00:19 -0500

I just can't do this anymore! It's driving me crazy!! Not only do I have to be my own Nurse, Doctor, Mathematician, Dietician, on top of being Mom,Nana, Auntie, Sister and Daughter it's JUST TOO MUCH!! Everytime I THINK I have it under control something happens to undermine all my hard work!! It took until a couple of weeks ago to get my numbers to "normal" to find out NO that's NOT "Normal" for ME BECAUSE I take insulin!!! Really?? REALLY?? I give up!! Well, at least for today!!!!!!!! :( Hope everyone is better than me!!!


48 replies

berrykins0
berrykins0 2011-08-16 08:23:11 -0500 Report

its fustrating when you have alot going on in life around you when your diabetic. you feel as if everybody pulls on you from all directions another words all 4 limbs all wanting something different from you at the same time.these you like to curl up in hide some wear.

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-08-15 14:04:24 -0500 Report

Just hang in there, things will get better. Sounds like you need to say "no" and do something for yourself. The stress of being everything to everyone, including ones self causes stress and stress makes the numbers go haywire. Stop and smell the roses and just take some time for you.

dietcherry
dietcherry 2011-08-14 14:23:07 -0500 Report

Hiya sweets! Sorry youre having a bad day, week ,month, season, whatever it may be! I try to save up unpleasant tasks for when my BS is high and Im gooooood and pissy, like dealing with the IRS (since Im now self-employed) or talking to my ex…I like to multi-task heehee I know none of this is helpful but maybe I gave you a giggle anyway! Love ya, g/f!!! :)

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2011-08-15 12:55:13 -0500 Report

Ah the many joys of being selfemployed. Only thing worse than dealing with the IRS was when I had to fire myself because I was a bad employee…or maybe I quit because my boss was a bitc…

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-08-13 21:34:52 -0500 Report

Hi nanallen,

Sorry you are feeling so frustrated. Dealing with a chronic condition is like having another full time job, right?

Just a couple of suggestions. Is there anything that you could be delegating to family members or asking for help with? It sounds like you have taken a lot on. Can you offload yourself in any way?

Are you taking time for yourself, maybe taking little breaks to de-stress and to focus on your own self-care? You have a lot of competing priorities, a lot of commitments to others, but I hope you are finding time to focus on your own self-care as well.

Have you talked to a diabetes educator? I am wondering if it might help to get some more education.

Here is a link to a discussion that I posted on frustration:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/discussions/11003-wow-am-i-ever-frustrated-said-this-lately

And I hope that you will stay in touch with your friends here on Diabetic Connect. You have a lot of friends here. Support is power!

Take care!

Gary

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-08-13 19:26:20 -0500 Report

Do you play the guessing game? "Let's see, I've been really good since lunch, I guess 118" Then it is 310! It ain't easy. Hang in there. If you don't you will be sent to the Diabetic Farm where you are forced into 100% compliance plus you lose all your points and have to start over again! I know that my #'s are real high or real low because of sweating. Of course, when it is 100 outside, it gets hard to tell! It really throws me off when I start sweating and I think "I must be getting low" jab myself and find a nice round number like 300! AGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

JDPAGE
JDPAGE 2011-08-13 17:51:27 -0500 Report

IF U NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO YOU CAN TALK TO ME ANYTIME

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 18:06:33 -0500 Report

It's just SO discouraging to get my #'s where I THOUGHT they should be and find out their NOT!! How are you supposed to tell the difference between Highs and Lows?? My body reacts the same way for both!! The shakes, sweats, dizzyness, blurred vision it happens when I'm really high OR low!! After 6 years of this you would think it should be somewhat better to deal with by now!! I don't WANT to give up but this is REALLY getting to me!! Thanks for posting, I'll take all the friends I can get!! ESPECIALLY PWD!! It seems a shame that people without it just don't understand!!

Piper5
Piper5 2011-08-13 21:01:11 -0500 Report

Try to think of it as one day at a time. At the end of each day I ask myself..did I do the best I could today with what I had to work with. Then I say either good job or I'll do better tomorrow. I've been doing that for 35 years now. Yes some days are extremely hard but I am thankful of all the advances since I was first diagnosed and know now I will be around to see each of my six grandkids grow up. Hang in there you cando it. Thats from one nana to another.

SlatonLeo
SlatonLeo 2011-08-13 15:34:08 -0500 Report

Sounds like you need a hug and some encouragement. Yes I have days like that too, but thankfully my wife come to the rescue and hugs or one of the kids will call to see how we are. Like I keep saying just keep on keepin' on. Don't ever give up or in life has more to offer in beauty and love if we will take time to see it and cherish. Most of God will be with you every step if you will let Him in. God love you and hang in there.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 16:00:39 -0500 Report

I'm definitely NOT a quitter but this is really getting to me! I just told Cookie that I am just gonna take a break for ONE day and forget all this crap. But I will definitely get back on that horse and make it go where I WANT IT TOO!! I haven't given up just tired, really REALLY tired!! Mom tells me all the time that God will not give me more than I can take but this is pushing it a little TOO far!! I'm sick and tired of BEING SICK AND TIRED!!! Can't function like this, can't work like this, can't live like this It's JUST too much!! But as I've said I'm not a quitter so I'll try again tomorrow! Thanks for the kind words and support, I appreciate it more than you know!!

AlwaysSherry
AlwaysSherry 2011-08-15 12:49:18 -0500 Report

I know where you're coming from…I've had diabetes for over 20 yrs and am just now getting the numbers under control. Not only that, but I am on 14 other medications for other health problems and I get sick of taking all those pills and taking a shot every night. But I don't have a choice. At times like this, I think God keeps me on an even keel so I don't just gorge and say "to heck with it". He's there for you too, hon.

SlatonLeo
SlatonLeo 2011-08-14 09:27:59 -0500 Report

You are welcome and God be with you, He will see you through this. Glad you won't quit, and I feel the same at times too.
Remember the old saying? "when you feel you have run out of rope, tie a knot in it and hang on". God is there!

nzingha
nzingha 2011-08-13 16:43:45 -0500 Report

huuussshhh…I am feeling a bit pissed myself with this constant nervous feelings in my legs sometimes my arms and sometimes a feeling of high everytime i put food in my mouth. My feet r weak sometimes i can hardly climb the steps.. but my numbers r down so I dont know where these weird feelings r coming from,. The insulin i
slike a monster with its own mind. It knows when I must snack, eat a proper meal because my body starts to give me these weird creepy feelings like its about to go down.. I hate this disease myself but it will NOT take hold or control over me.. so u should fight it too… let's get over it!

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 16:57:31 -0500 Report

Most days I can feel like you and just get over it but some days like yesterday and today I'm just frustrated BEYOND my limit!! I'll probably be better tomorrow…at least THAT'S what I'm hoping for!! Thanks!

nzingha
nzingha 2011-08-13 19:41:07 -0500 Report

the sun will come out tomorrow…bet ur bottom dollar that tomorrow.. there will be sunshine..! just keep thinking like that.. be positive!

Gusindiana
Gusindiana 2011-08-13 14:12:01 -0500 Report

Like I have stated before My feeling is as long as my doctor is ok with my numbers then So am I.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 14:46:55 -0500 Report

That's part of the problem!! He's NOT happy with my #'s!! My #'s have been OVER 300 since around Nov. last year!! It's taken all this time to get them down to what I THOUGHT were "normal" and it turns out that he thinks I'm too LOW and that's why I've not been feeling good! I told him the better my #'s get the WORSE I feel!! So he lowered my Lantus from 50 to 40 units and now my #'s are back up to 278!!! He told me BECAUSE I'm on insulin I should not let it get below 100!!! This just doesn't compute in my brain!!! I always thought that "normal" #'s were from 70 to 150! Just tired of starting all over again!! But thanks for the reply!

Gusindiana
Gusindiana 2011-08-13 14:54:06 -0500 Report

How often are you taking the lantus how many times a day? Maybe you need the higher dose at a set time of day to keep your numbers from going up and down so much

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 15:24:42 -0500 Report

Only take it at night always at night. Was told it was like a timed released insulin and it lasts for approx. 36 hrs. Didn't know you could take it during the day.

Gusindiana
Gusindiana 2011-08-13 15:32:56 -0500 Report

I don't know if you can or not I figured it would be like many of the other insulins and was taken during the day as well I don't know much about lantus

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 15:51:09 -0500 Report

I take Humalog insulin during the day before meals and the Lantus at night. I know one guy in my D Support group takes his Lantus in the a.m. but it was the first I had heard of taking it in the a.m.

nzingha
nzingha 2011-08-13 19:33:53 -0500 Report

I do the same.. humalong before meals at specific times.. and lantus at nite usually before 10:30 which is when i usually go to bed.. its been working fine for me and I dont take anything near what u r taking but I eat small portions. I eat from a breakfast plate, small bowls of desert or one fruit .. and I excercise Everyday.. I enjoy excercising.. I swin 3 mornings and walk most evenings… and sometimes I do my Beyounce.. I go on Youtube download about 3 of her fast moving videos and I try to match those moves like I was 25 again.. when Im through I need my towel and a shower!

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 16:15:50 -0500 Report

Most of the time they were close to 300 FBS got them down to high 100's sometimes down to 86 but not often. It's those 2 #'s 86 and 82 that my Dr. said was too low for me. Since he lowered my lantus to 40 my #'s went back up to 278 so I increased my Lantus back to 42 and my #'s are 221 this a.m.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 16:54:29 -0500 Report

Probably my procrastination. It's only been 2 weeks since I've seen him but gonna make sure I talk to him on Monday!! Even if I have to sit and wait in his office!!

mommafish
mommafish 2011-08-12 20:22:33 -0500 Report

AWWWW, Im sorry ur feeling this way. just keep on keeping on and u can do it. tomorrow is another day and u can start over then have a good cry that always makes me feel better.
have a better night
Jodi

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 14:08:06 -0500 Report

Thanks for the support but noooooo can't cry when I cry then EVERYBODY gets out of the way!!! Not a good cryer!! When I give in to the tears is when it is extremely bad!! LOL At least it's not THAT bad yet! LOL Just so tired of not feeling good, having to FORCE myself out of bed or worse FORCE myself to get out of the house!!

1lady4
1lady4 2011-08-13 14:14:15 -0500 Report

Don't give up & don't let Diabetes get you down nor let it control you

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 14:40:26 -0500 Report

Definitely haven't given up but it does have me down and it has controlled me these past few weeks! I'm not a quitter so I won't give up just tired…really really TIRED!

Cookie Roma
Cookie Roma 2011-08-12 17:15:47 -0500 Report

I'm right there with you! Most days (like today) I wake up with the expectation of having a good (not perfect) day. Recently this has turned out to be expecting too much!
What's tge point?

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 13:54:51 -0500 Report

Guess I've been going through the same thing lately. :( I've been trying SO hard and it just keeps getting worse!! Finally got my #'s to where I THOUGHT they should be only to have my Dr. tell me I'm going to LOW!!! Said I shouldn't let it get below 100 BECAUSE I'm on insulin!! So he lowered my lantus from 50 to 40 units and now it's back over 300!! Just SO tired of all this!! Don't get me wrong I'm NOT giving up just giving in…just a little. Need to breathe…just breathe!!!!!!!!!!

granniesophie
granniesophie 2011-08-12 18:15:12 -0500 Report

The point is not to wind up with some terrible complication. I just got back from kidney class with my Mom-who has stage 5 renal failure due to uncontrolled diabetes, she just wouldn't do and won't do anything about controlling it, and now she has to have dialysis and I am so very, very upset and I don't want to lose my mom yet over something that didn't have to happen.
So, please, please, both of you, my friends, take care of yourselves. I want to see you around here as healthy as possible for a long time to come.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-08-13 13:47:16 -0500 Report

I KNOW all this but I'm JUST NOT getting it!! When I first was Dx's it was almost 6 years ago. I GOT it under control after about 3 months. Went from 3 shots a day and one at night to just one shot a night. Then I changed jobs and got really laxed on testing. Then ended up with pancreatitus and gall stones. Ever since they took the gall bladder out it has all been downhill!!! I've had pancreatitus 5 times since my surgery!! They found a small lesion (tear) in the middle of the pancreas and a cyst at the opening of the pancreas. Evidently it is not bad enough for them to do anything about it except keep an eye on it. But no one has said a word about what I can do in the meantime!! I've been fighting to get my #'s back down ever since!! Back to 2-3 shots a day and still the one at night. Taking 50 units of Lantus @ night put my #'s where I THOUGHT they were supposed to be but my Dr. says I've been getting lows and THAT'S what's been causing me to feel so terrible! SOoo he lowered my Lantus to 40 units and THAT put my #'s back over 300!! But he also told me NOT to let it get BELOW 100!! BECAUSE I'm on insulin it should never drop below 100!! I'm just SO CONFUSED!!!??? I'm just tired of it all JUST TIRED!! I'm the one that takes care of everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!! Haven't worked since last Nov. guess THAT'S getting to me too!! I want so desperately to go back to work but I SURELY CAN'T work like THIS!!!! And here it is the weekend again so I can't get ahold of my Dr. till Mon. Pardon the expression but THIS SUCKS!!! Thanks for listening I truely appreciate the support. Ellen :/

Cookie Roma
Cookie Roma 2011-08-12 18:22:33 -0500 Report

I know you are right but this lunch thing is killing me. I hate coming up with ideas for lunches, I don't want to eat. It's all coming down on me.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-13 02:12:32 -0500 Report

I keep my lunches rather simple. It's either a choice of a boneless, skinless chicken breast, or a hamburger pattie on a Geo Foreman type grill. I don't have to worry about what I eat. Breakfasts are 2 hardboiled eggs with a small fruit.

I don't need a lot of variety in my food choices. Makes it very easy for me when I am cooking or shopping.

nzingha
nzingha 2011-08-13 19:40:16 -0500 Report

Here's what I do.. when I do my dinner I cook enough so I can take the rest for my lunch at work and I throw in fruits or salads for snacks.. its not that hard. People just need to develop a habit and stick to it. I close my office door. I set up my lunch like I am dining at a 5 star hotel . My sec thinks its funny and I tell them nooo calls.. I am at lunch. i read the newspapers, answer my personal e-mails or FB and I dont open that door until I've had my hour. I started doing this since I had to bring my D back under control… now I'm there but I have the challenges of the damage I think it has already done.. the weakness in my legs … which is more annoying than anything else. But I'm working on it.!

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-14 20:44:41 -0500 Report

In that context above, I don't worry about what I eat because I pretty much know what I am going to eat that day. Hard boiled eggs, Boneless skinless chicken breasts, 85/15 Hamburger pattie. low carb veggies, and a small fruit. It is simple for me. I don't need a lot of variety.

(Sorry Ellen for the delay in answering. didn't see you hidden way down here)

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