Cookie Roma
By Cookie Roma Latest Reply 2011-08-15 05:49:05 -0500
Started 2011-08-12 13:08:59 -0500

I just ran away from home! Okay I just took off for a couple of hours. I so fricken depressed!!!!! Lunch time came. I dread this time of day. I don't ever feel like or want to have lunch. I had some tomato soup but knew I needed a little more. So I got my boiled peanuts; my fall back food. I started eating them. By about the 3rd peanut I was getting angrier and angrier! I just through the peanuts out and went into the bath room and cried. Then I was over come with thus feeling of having to get out of the house. Of course I didn't leave until I put the next load of laundry on.
I'm aware that when this thing kills peopled it usually involves some long protracted painful illness first. Then it kills. I went into the bathroom to cry and I heard myself say, "why doesn't this thing just kill me.". I'm so beyond tired of this!!!!!!!

16 replies

SlatonLeo 2011-08-13 16:00:34 -0500 Report

I am so sorry about the anger you feel. Some times things don't seem fair, but who said it had to be? We all feel angry and like we had a raw deal at times, I am no exception. I did learn over 40 years ago that God has purpose for our trials and troble. Most of the time it is a lesson to learn in life about patience, and being able to accept that we can't all have what we want, so make the best of what you have. Change what can be changed, and let God take care of the rest for you. He will if you will only trust Him. I know it is easy to say and not always easy to do, but we must keep trying and trying no matter how frustrating and tireing.
You will see the difference and then enjoy what you can when you can.
Every day is different if you will look for it.
At least that is what I have learned. Tommorrow will be today and it will be different. God is there. Just reach out and call to Him, He will be there for you.

nanaellen 2011-08-13 15:43:58 -0500 Report

Yeah I didn't wake up much better myself this a.m. I'm right there with ya!! But tomato soup??? I would kill to eat a bowl of tomato soup again!! Shoots me up over 300 though. So do ramen noodles! I just come back to something my Mom still says to this day…"There's always someone worse off than you!!" And tomorrow is a different day and it ALWAYS gets better!! Unfortunately we can't "run away" from this demon it will ALWAYS be there. I figure taking a break will help…at least that's what I'm hoping for…gonna forget about all this crap at least for one day and then it will be time to get back on that horse and make it go where I WANT IT TOO!!!! Don't give up it HAS to get better!!! Your friend, Ellen :/ Big Hugs to you!

MrsCDogg 2011-08-15 05:49:05 -0500 Report

Oh my gosh! That is something my mom always said to me! When I'm feeling low I just have to look around and figure out that there is always someone who is way worse off than me. Thanks for reminding me again!! :o)

Cookie Roma
Cookie Roma 2011-08-13 15:55:59 -0500 Report

For me its fruit. I love about all fruits but I haven't one I can eat without sending my numbers right through the ceiling !!!

Cookie Roma
Cookie Roma 2011-08-13 14:05:27 -0500 Report

Did not wake up with a positive attitude today. Went through the torture that is deciding on, fixing, and eating lunch. Just hate this!!! Came up with a brilliant lunch! 2/3 of a bag of ramin.
Now almost to the hour yesterday I'm over cone with this need to run away from home!!!

mommafish 2011-08-12 20:36:08 -0500 Report

Its good u got out of the house sometimes thats all it takes. I know ive been there where i just wanted to get the H@*@ out of dodge and feelt so much better when i returned. One tome I took off in my jeep just to cool off i went down a side road that was wet and got stuck talk about mad well i was put in 4wheel drv and nope still stuck so i took off the jeeps soft top put it under the back wheel and slowly got out of the mud needless to say me and the jeep(insideand out) was covered in mud i wad to wade back in the mud to get the top lost a shoe had to find it made it back home and my husband at the time said u feel better u know what i did even felt kinda silly but it got whatever was in me out SO if u have a jeep go find a mudd hole and play till u feel better.

granniesophie 2011-08-12 18:19:46 -0500 Report

The point is not to wind up with some terrible complication. I just got back from kidney class with my Mom-who has stage 5 renal failure due to uncontrolled diabetes, she just wouldn't do and won't do anything about controlling it, and now she has to have dialysis and I am so very, very upset and I don't want to lose my mom yet over something that didn't have to happen.
So, please, please, both of you, my friends, take care of yourselves. I want to see you around here as healthy as possible for a long time to come.
I posted this as a reply a bit before and am posting again, in case you wonder where you saw it before. I am so mad and so upset and scared. This didn't have to happen to her.
Please everyone, take good care of yourselves, one step at a time, one day at a time.

Mas72 2011-08-12 16:24:02 -0500 Report

Small steps, small goals, small successes equal big change…even if it's making it through next 5 minutes. I would count getting the load of laundry on before leaving as huge success, hang in there.

nanaellen 2011-08-12 15:07:26 -0500 Report

OMG!! I just said the same thing basically!! I'm sick and tired of BEING sick and tired!!! I'm right there with ya girl!!!! I'm giving up…at least for today!! Maybe tomorrow will be better. I sure hope so cause I can't take much more of this myself!!! I'll hold you up if you'll hold me up!! Ellen :(

jayabee52 2011-08-12 13:32:24 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry you feel that way Cookie! Most of us have been there, and I sure have been there, both with diabetes and without it. Bring your vent here to us. We collectively have broad shoulders.

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