I just ran away from home! Okay I just took off for a couple of hours. I so fricken depressed!!!!! Lunch time came. I dread this time of day. I don't ever feel like or want to have lunch. I had some tomato soup but knew I needed a little more. So I got my boiled peanuts; my fall back food. I started eating them. By about the 3rd peanut I was getting angrier and angrier! I just through the peanuts out and went into the bath room and cried. Then I was over come with thus feeling of having to get out of the house. Of course I didn't leave until I put the next load of laundry on.
I'm aware that when this thing kills peopled it usually involves some long protracted painful illness first. Then it kills. I went into the bathroom to cry and I heard myself say, "why doesn't this thing just kill me.". I'm so beyond tired of this!!!!!!!
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