I feel like I'm about to loose it Ya'll

lilsista39
By lilsista39 Latest Reply 2011-10-04 00:55:07 -0500
Started 2011-08-10 15:37:14 -0500

Hi Everybody ,
I know some of you are asking whats up with the subject? What are you talking about? Well.Let me shed the light on it for you.For the past several weeks I have been fighting a nasty bug (Osteomylitis)Forgive me if my spelling is off im doing this with a migraine (not good I know).But anyhow I'm home on a pic line with fluids and antibiotics. During which I lost my mother last week Monday.My Father thought that it was best to keep it from us just how truly sick she was till the very end.I try to keep things as calm as I can in my house If you have teenagers you know what I go through on daily basis.Well now yesterday I get home from shopping with my daughter and my husband gave me an all to familiar look i nearly hit the floor he had to catch me, my aunt ,my mom's sister passed suddenly.How do I cope ,I'm just starting to mend from my mothers passing and now my heart takes this blow I not even sure how to tell my kids this was their great Auntie .I mean grant it my kids are not babies they are well above age to understand life and death but still their hearts are full of sorrow and pain and through all of this I'm trying to keep myself from falling apart and out of the hospital again.
I would love to say that this year has been a good one but that would be a fib,we have seen better ones .I just want to know when this chaos will end.I think the only thing that I have handled quit well is my BS level.


15 replies

jbird777
jbird777 2011-10-04 00:55:07 -0500 Report

If you are handling your bs alright, you're doing a lot better than you think. As far as how long it will take for the chaos come to an end, its different for everybody. Take one day at a time. Sit down and do nothing when you need to. Try to take naps when you can. I have been through a lot of what you have shared. As for your teenagers just for right now don't sweat the small stuff. They will probably be stranger or more difficult to deal with right now because they are also going through the grieving process. Pray, meditate and have some quiet times. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

berrykins0
berrykins0 2011-08-11 08:35:33 -0500 Report

i been through something like this lost a grandma on monday and then on the day of her funeral my grandmas sister passed away. it's like people have such a special bond between them.they are ment to die close together.my grandpa died on july 9 38 yrs ago and my died like july 5 4yrs ago. and he was the same age as his dad was when he died .how weird is is that.i was born like 2months exactally after my grandpa died he died on the 9 of july i was born on 9 september.sorry for your losses.i understand these things can be very hard on a person.take it easy and take care.

George1947
George1947 2011-08-11 02:54:02 -0500 Report

Been there, done that… my wife's family lost 3 members in less than 2 years, all from cancer. I was diagnosed with cancer in 2009 and last year my wife had to have a pic line and was on IV antibiotics and IV nutrition for several months, plus 2 surgeries… Chaos doesn't care how bad things are, it just makes them worse… hang in there and fight through it!

I'll be praying for you and your family!

awilli13
awilli13 2011-08-10 22:59:46 -0500 Report

You will be in my Prayers and only time will heal and thats from the heart… Never in your wildest dreams that you think it could be your family… My dear sister pased Sept 2010 and you just cant never wrap your head around it… When every you want to chat I hear for you sometimes thats the medicine you need…

Mickie G
Mickie G 2011-08-10 22:32:23 -0500 Report

I will pray for you and your family. It is never easy when a loved one is gone and all the well meant advice while offer some comfort it doesn't lessen the pain. Only time will ease your burden. So while you are trying to keep it together for you and your family and keep moving forward, I will pray that our heavenly father will ease your burden while you mourn and help you continue to move forward.

keith01
keith01 2011-08-10 18:58:30 -0500 Report

hello lilsista,4yrs ago today i answered the phone my sister said daddy is dead.i cry every year,i love&miss him.he is gone never forgotten!my thoughts & prayers are with you my friend.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-10 17:41:30 -0500 Report

Howdy Deloris
My heart is burdened for you. My prayers are with you!
I have sent you an email based on your message on my wall. I pray it helps you.

James

RAINDANCER1950
RAINDANCER1950 2011-08-10 17:05:50 -0500 Report

HELLO , MY FRIEND , HOW MY HEART HURTS FOR YOU…IT IS TIMES SUCH AS THIS , WHEN WE REALLY THINK…I CAN NOT DO THIS…I CAN NOT DEAL WITH THIS…I AM AT MY WITS END…I REMEMBER , THE DAY , AS IF IT WAS THIS MORNING , WHEN , MY PHONE RANG , AND I HEARD , MY DEAR LITTLE STEPDAD SAY …BRENDA …I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY IT, EXCEPT TO JUST SAY , YOUR MAMA SHOT HERSELF THIS MORNING…AND SHE'S BRAIN DEAD !…THERE ,I WAS IN CALIFORNIA , JUST HOME FROM A LIFE THREATENING ILLNESS AND 6 WEEKS IN THE HOSPITAL…HOW, CAN I HOLD UP…TO DO ALL , I WILL HAVE TO DO, OVER THE NEXT WEEK !…FIRST I JUST SCREAMED…I HEARD MYSELF…BUT REALLY DIDNT KNOW IT WAS ME…I CRIED AN HOUR…THEN , I DID THE ONLY THING I KNEW TO DO…I ASKED GOD…TO TAKE MY BURDEN…I WAS NOT STRONG ENOUGH…AND TRUELY , IN MOMENTS…I FELT RENEWED…AND WENT ABOUT , DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO DO, TO GO HOME TO SAY GOODBYE TO MY MAMA , IN GEORGIA.
TODAY , I CAN SAY TO YOU…THE PAIN , OF HER LOSS , IN SUCH A SAD AND USLESS WAY…NEVER ONCE LEFT ME…BUT THE STRENGHT I NEEDED TO DO ALL I WAS EXPECTED TO DO…FLOWED FROM ME…AND I KNOW…THAT WAS THE STRENGHT GOD PROMISED ME…IF I SERVED HIM…HE WOULD MAKE A WAY FOR ME TO CARRY MY BURDENS…AND HE DID THEN…AND HAS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE SINCE THEN.
MAMA DIED AUGUST 16 , 1986…THE NEXT YEAR…AUGUST 17 , 1987 , MY FIRST GRANDSON WAS BORN…HEAVENLY FATHER IN HIS LOVING WAY…FOUND A WONDERFUL WAY…TO MAKE THE SADDEST TIME OF THE YEAR , FOR ME, INTO ONE OF THE BEST TIMES !
WHEN , I LOST MY BELOVED , STEP DAD…LESS THAN A YEAR AFTER MAMA , ON JULY 18 , 1987…I WAS ABLE TO AGAIN …RELY ON THE BLESSING OF MY LORD…THE DAY BEFORE HE PASSED AWAY…I WAS BLESSED WITH THE BIRTH OF MY SECOND GRANDSON…WE LOSE THOSE WE LOVE…BUT , WE ALSO WELCOME…THOSE INTO OUR LIVES…THAT ARE SO PRECIOUS…AND WE ARE THANKFUL FOR THE MEMORIES OF THOSE WHO LEAVE US …AND REJOYCE IN THE NEW MEMORIES MADE !
I HOPE YOUR PAIN WILL BE MADE LESS…AND THAT YOU ARE GIVEN ALL YOU STAND IN NEED OF , TO GET THROUGH THIS SAD TIME…AND THE STRENGTH GIVEN YOUR BODY TO HEAL…YOU ARE NOT ALONE…BRENDA

spiritwalker
spiritwalker 2011-08-10 16:40:44 -0500 Report

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Its never easy when those closest to us are gone. There remains an empty space in the heart that belongs to them. Be kind to yourself and give yourself all the time you need.

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-10 16:16:47 -0500 Report

Well, this is something I know all to well and just went through in the last year as well, mine was my grandmother who passed and then my Aunt, my mothers twin sister who was more of a mother to me then my mother is. Your kid's are strong as are you and they will understand. All you can do is keep a level head keep taking your treatments and fighting of the nasty bug. It is awsome that throught it all your BS are still good that is a great plus. They say all bad things happen in threes I don't know if that is true or not, but you are due for good to step back in and take over just put it in GOD'S HANDS. You will be in our prayers.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2011-08-10 16:08:48 -0500 Report

Well hold on to that one positive thing and breathe deep. I am so sorry that you are going through so many things all at once. Some one upstairs thinks an awful lot of you to give you so much. Find a quite room to be by yourself for a few minutes. Bathrooms work just fine. Breathe in good thoughts, exhale bad thoughts. This helps me so much.

You don't have to be the strong one all the time. It's okay to cry, get mad, feel guilt...all of those things are natural and you need just as much a chance to feel that as the rest of the family. Claim your space and don't feel guilty about it.

We will be praying for you.

Te Ja
Te Ja 2011-08-10 16:00:07 -0500 Report

My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family for your loss. It's never easy to lose a loved one, and just take it one day at a time. I lost an aunt in June my mom in November and my cousins husband in January. May God be with you.

Flustrated
Flustrated 2011-08-10 15:58:12 -0500 Report

Why things happen like that I'll never know. We all have to pull ourselves together when something effects our life. This is easier said than done. Take care of yourself. You don't want to land in the hospital. Keep intouch with DC a lot of these people will walk you into a better time. Good Luck.

MewElla
MewElla 2011-08-10 15:49:40 -0500 Report

Wish I was there to give you a really long hug…I truly know how you feel, I went thru this terrible pain when my husband died. My heart goes out to you …You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you…God Bless YOU..