What to do?

rachael20
By rachael20 Latest Reply 2011-08-10 16:07:04 -0500
Started 2011-08-09 09:15:38 -0500

I have had type one diabetes since I was nine but now at 28 I feel that I can't do it anymore I live by myself and have a great family but I don't want to eat my meals and do my shots anymore becuse I just don't care I'm taking care of myself for the sake of my family.
If anyone can help me in anyway that would be great thanks.


9 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-08-10 16:07:04 -0500 Report

Hi Rachael,

I am sorry that you are feeling so down right now. I am wondering if you might be experiencing some depression. Is that possible?

Here is a link to a discussion on depression that I started awhile back:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/discussions/9451-still-not-feeling-it-maybe-it-s-time-to-ask-for-help

It might help to talk to a counselor who is experienced in helping people facing chronic illness. You might benefit from a listening ear who can help you to get a perspective on what's going on with your self-care, maybe help you to pick up your outlook and your motivation. Just a suggestion.

Support is power! I hope that you will stay in touch with us and let us know how we can help.

Take care!

Gary

margokittycat
margokittycat 2011-08-10 12:03:49 -0500 Report

Dear Rachel, You sound like me at your age, I struggled and stopped it and would only take insulin when I knew I had to because I felt like crap. I had very loving, caring and supportive family but that was all it was was family. I went to a therapist. There were underlying things going on that I did not even know were there. Hope this helps

rayfamily
rayfamily 2011-08-09 21:55:50 -0500 Report

Hi Rachael!
I, too am Type 1. Since age… 25. I found out on Valentine's Day 2000, after my daughter was stillborn prematurely. After numerous tests to try & figure out the reason for her birth, they found that my sugar was "high". That was an understatement! My A1C was over 13%!!!
I was dealing with the loss of my baby, the death of my mother in law, helping my husband cope with the death of his mother & the diagnosis of diabetes (which I knew NOTHING about)
There were times that I thought it just wasn't worth it. But somehow, the sun still rises & sets. Whether we get out of bed or not. We all have a lot to live for. You said you have a supportive family. Thank God! Keep on trucking, chicka! You can do it!
I joined this group just last week & have found HUGE inspiration from the members here! I need this group! I struggle everyday with diabetes. I don't eat right. My sugar is way out of whack. I don't have health insurance & haven't been to the doctors in over 2 years. But, with the support of my family, friends & my new family here at DC, I have faith, confidence & motivation that we will make it!!!!
I may not have helped- but I'm sure as you read the posts here, you'll see that you are not alone. Everyone is dealing with something. And the majority seem to have positive attitudes to help get us through!
I'll look forward to watching your progress!
:) Natalie

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-09 17:57:52 -0500 Report

Howdy Rachel!
I know how it can feel because I've been where you are emotionally more than once.

But you are only 28. You have a lot of life ahead of you. And if you won't do it for your family, do it for yourself and for your future.

I want to share with you one incident in my life where I had a problem and why I am glad I took care of my self despite my feelings.

In Nov 2006 I collapsed on my bedroom floor. I was on that floor semi-comatose for 5 nights and days. When I was discovered and taken to the ER they told me that my kidneys had an infection and were completely shut down. I would need dialysis. And I started dialysis treatments 3 days/wk and 4 hrs/session.

I was extremely depressed. I was a "dead man walking". I could see no future, no joy. I had been recently divorced out of a 25 year relationship. I "knew" that NO woman worth having would want this old (56) beat up person with diabetes who was on dialysis too. I seriously considered discontinuing the treatments and letting my body fill up with poisons again and let the kidney disease take me. I had even talked to a Social Worker in the clinic in which I received my dialysis and laid it out to her. She listened to me and responded: "Nobody would blame you if you did."

Well I thought more about it and decided that if I followed my plan, I would be giving my 3 sons a bad example of how to behave WHEN their lives got tough.
So I continued with dialysis even though I felt I had no future, no happiness ahead.

BOY WAS I WRONG! I didn't know it at the time, but my kidneys healed enough where I could discontinue the dialysis without harm. 10 months after my collapse, I no longer needed dialysis. Because I was on disability, I had an income which would serve me if I were careful with my money. And then the most wonderful thing happened. I got an email from a lady I call "Jem". I had posted a profile on a website "Dating4Disabled". Out of the blue she responded to that profile, and I responded to her email, and even though we were 500+ miles apart, we fell in love. What I thought would NEVER happen, happened for me. She was an amazing lady, and she thought I was amazing too. We both were SO HAPPY.

I married her and moved to her, and had a wonderful life that I couldn't have even imagined 12 months before.

She had a lot of "medical challenges " too. Unfortunately many of them potentially life threatening. In July of 2010 she passed from this life at home peacefully. But for those months we had together she enriched my life more than I can express (and I'm a pretty verbal guy). I am an a far, far better place emotionally now that she had been in my life. Yes I grieve for my loss of her, but I am not devastated. I was far more devastated by being divorced and needing dialysis.

I am glad I didn't try to make a permanent solution (death) to my temporary troubles (divorce, dialysis) Had I done so I would have missed the blessing that Jem was to me. And she would have missed me (without knowing me, of course) and the happiness we had together.

This is not about diabetes you think? Well I have found out later, that my kidneys shut down because of my diabetes medication, Metformin. That's, as Paul Harvey would say "the rest of the story"

I pray that you will find the joy in life again. I pray that you will take care of yourself so that you can enjoy your future without a lot of painful and embarassing diabetic complications, like I have.

Blessings to you and yours

James

camerashy
camerashy 2011-08-09 18:04:22 -0500 Report

James, you are a breath of fresh air to a lot of us. I think that without you, a lot of us would lose hope. Thank you for being here, and for being you. - Linda

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-09 18:35:43 -0500 Report

Thank you so very much Linda! Your kind words are very much appreciated! I'm just trying to pay it forward.

I pray that when you get your feet firmly under you (health wise) you too can pay it forward.

camerashy
camerashy 2011-08-09 18:38:23 -0500 Report

I am praying (and hoping) that I get in line with my health. I do my best to help others whenever I can, but you're the "cat's meow".