Had a good cry lately? Why not?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2011-08-03 23:56:55 -0500
Started 2011-08-03 22:03:22 -0500

There is a whole lot to be said for sitting down and having a good cry once in awhile. If you’ve had one lately, then I probably don’t need to explain what was good about it. You probably felt a lot different – relaxed, relieved, restored – after you wiped your eyes and blew your nose that one last time.

But if you haven’t let yourself turn on the waterworks in awhile, what’s holding you back? You may be afraid that once you let the tears flow, you might not be able to stop them from coming. Or, you are thinking that you shouldn’t be crying, that you should instead keep a stiff upper lip, hold the feelings inside and hang tough, or “keep smiling through the pain.” Or, you maybe playing that old tape from childhood: “I don’t want to see any tears.” Maybe you don’t want to appear to be vulnerable or “weak.”

Well, time to reconsider.

Shedding a few – or a lot of – tears is part of being human. And it’s a shame that we so often hold ourselves back from crying when it has so many potential benefits. Exactly what is a good cry good for? Here are some of the benefits:

Stress relief. When the stress builds up, and threatens to overwhelm you, crying can be a great way to release the stress, and the tension, and all of those pent up feelings that go along with stress. They’re just tears. You won’t melt.

Or just plain old relief. Any time you feel emotions building up inside of you, even when you aren’t sure what you’re feeling or why, this may be a signal that it’s time to just let it out with a good cry. You might be surprised at how relieved you feel afterwards.

Happiness. Ever wonder why you sometimes feel the urge to cry when you are feeling happy? We call them “tears of joy.” So enjoy!

Frustration. If you are facing a chronic condition or disability, then you are more than familiar with the frustrations that seem to go with the territory. Frustration is related to feeling helpless and out of control… and feeling really, really angry. Crying doesn’t put you in control but it can go a long way toward helping you to release all of that pent up frustration, and maybe free you up to look at what you can control.

Disappointment. Things don’t always go the way we wanted, or expected, them to go. Life has a way of getting in the way of our plans. Crying helps you to sit with the disappointment, let it in, and gain some perspective on it.

Grief. Part of life is dealing with losses. A chronic condition can certainly come with its share of losses – restrictions, limitations, unwanted changes, new medical regimens… and others. Like with any loss, it is a normal human reaction to feel grief. Going through the grief process is how our minds learn to accept the loss and cope with it. When we are grieving, it is normal to shed some tears. Crying is a mentally healthy response to grief.

Because you don’t know what else to do. Tears may seem to come out of nowhere, for no specific reason, and not out of any feelings, at least any feelings that you are aware of. You just want to let some tears flow. Don’t fight it. Let them out. Chances are, you’ll feel better. And when you stop fighting the urge to cry, you may even figure out what’s bothering you.

And because you can. Crying is a normal human response. It’s a great way to release tension and pent up emotions. Having a good cry can help to clear out emotions that you are holding back, emotions that may be preventing you from having a balanced perspective. And when your emotions and your rational mind are more in balance, then it you are also more likely to be freed up to look at what’s real, but also to consider the possibilities.

So what’s stopping you from reaching for that box of tissue?

When the urge hits to cry, then let those tears flow. Do it in a place that is most comfortable for you, with someone you want to share your tears with, or off by yourself, or maybe take a walk somewhere where you won’t be noticed or where you don’t care who notices you.

One of the gifts that we can give each other here on this discussion board is a box of tissues. They’re good for more than a head cold.

Had a good cry lately? How did it help you? Any stories to share?

(Caution: If you find that you are crying uncontrollably, that you don’t seem to be able to function because of your constant tears, this can be a symptom of depression, and time to consult with a mental health professional.)


2 replies

AuntieM234
AuntieM234 2011-08-03 23:56:55 -0500 Report

I agree with everything you've said above, including the caution you issued. I've been there and done that in about every instance you've mentioned. I've lost many loved ones to death, including five of my six siblings (cancer, all), a 27 year old Grandson, both parents, my darling husband, and various other relatives and friends, so I've shed tears of grief on many occasions. During those times, as with happy tears, I don't care who sees me crying. It is the times where I don't want to show weakness or worry loved ones that I choose to cry in the privacy of my home. I always feel that a good cry is theraputic. I believe it has helped to save my sanity more than once. Thanks for providing this forum. ;-) Mara

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-08-03 23:16:45 -0500 Report

I notice that as I get older, I have more tears of joy! Or crying at a happy ending in a movie.

I used to fight tears of sorrow, pain or even of Joy. I no longer do. I am generally happier now that I don't fight it.

Thanks for sharing that Gary!

James