Kindness, Respect, and Understanding Each Other

John Crowley
By John Crowley Latest Reply 2008-10-24 00:51:39 -0500
Started 2008-10-21 06:17:23 -0500

I want to take a moment to address some of the things that have been happening on our site the last few days. Clearly we are going through some growing pains. Whether you realize it or not, this site is only a few months old. We're all "new" here and we're all learning how to make this the best experience it can be.

It is natural for people to feel some ownership of the site. Each of us puts part ourselves out there when we comment or share. I believe this sense of ownership is part of what makes this site great … but it also can create strong emotions if you feel like someone is "taking away" something that belongs to you.

Let's all take a moment to think about what we want this site to be. It has been for the most part a great place where everyone was treated with kindness and respect.

Please know that we have heard all your concerns. We've read every comment carefully and we're already working on plans to make changes to make the site better.

The site belongs to all of us. And it will take the effort of all of us to make it the best it can be. Some of you have made statements like, "I would be lost without this site" and "This site has literally saved my life." If we want this site to continue to help others as it has helped some of you, we must all be committed to responding with kindness and respect always.

I have personally learned so much from so many people on this site. I know I am a much better parent and caregiver to my son because others here were willing to share their advice and insights.

So I ask for all of us (myself included) to strengthen our commitment to trying to understand one another and accepting that we all come from a different background and perspective. When we treat each other with kindness and respect, we make everyone feel welcome and open the door for all of us to learn from one another.

Thank you.

20 replies

BethP 2008-10-23 19:42:41 -0500 Report

I am new to this site and I would like to offer another way to look at this situation. (and no one has to do this)

I see this site (and most any project) as a work in progress. There are going to be things that work for some and dont work for others..that does not make the situation or the person good or bad, right or wrong, etc. Perhaps keep comments and posts to what about the site/discussion board/review board is working and what is not working. Not putting blame on anyone…but everyone here being responsible for making this work.
Just my thoughts…

GabbyPA 2008-10-24 00:51:39 -0500 Report

Hi BethP,

Yep, it's like a family... a really big one that has kids of all ages here. We can have a great family atmosphere when we work together. That doesn't mean we always agree, that is not real life. But even in our disagreements, we learn to back off, move on and change what ever needs to be changed. As we kids grow, we learn new things, gain better insight, come up with great ideas and share them.

That is what this site it all about. It's not a site of doctors telling us what we should do. It's us, the ones who live with this diesase, who are just sharing our lives with eachother. It's not formal, and maybe that is why our learning curve is a little harder. But we will get thru it all just fine.

momma_havens 2008-10-23 02:55:04 -0500 Report

clearly off track ,,,,,please everyone get along

Lanore 2008-10-23 03:02:00 -0500 Report

Yes you are right it is and we have tried to stop it and one person just won't let it go. John is right. It is time already. Everyone have a great day. :-)

morris.js 2008-10-22 23:35:46 -0500 Report

anonymous, I hear you saying how terrible it is here, but yet instead of just walking away with what little dignity you may have left, you continue to dwell on things that are in the past. It seems you try to bring this up in every discussion you can.

Please for the sake of those of us who have received so much from this site, quit already. Either quit the site, or quit your continued attempts to destroy it. No one ever insulted you! You are acting like a child who has been scolded by a parent, so run to your room, have a good cry and be done with it.

I for one, would like to see you banned from this site rather than KD Roberts, however the Alliance Health team seem to be more compassionate than I am.

Of course all this is just my opinion, and you can start bitching about how rude I am as well, but the truly sad thing in all of this is that you are so lonely and feel so insecure and inadequate, that you cannot get past any wrongs that occur in your life.

I truly feel sorry for you and will pray that you can finaly get the courage to let it go and be at peace.

John Morris

ShortyD 2008-10-23 02:06:15 -0500 Report

Well said, John,I came in to learn what i have got, to cope with it and learn what i can do for it,not hear how bad it is in here.glad your are back in the discussion,John.

sexyswamprat 2008-10-23 02:43:47 -0500 Report


I am so glad that someone finally said this. It's not like we all don't know who Anonymous really is. I noticed her bringing it up everytime I turned my head and told her enough already. What you just said I couldn't have said it better myself, I'm with ya John.


*Hows your puppy doing?*

Lanore 2008-10-21 09:15:28 -0500 Report

Oh my goodness I am not sure how leaving will fix anything!! But that is your choice to make, KD did nothing wrong but to point out that the reviews should not be use as a discussion board and for that he is right. Nam sorry to see you go, I enjoy your posts. Like I said I think we need to step back, take a breathe, and calm down. Lanore

sexyswamprat 2008-10-22 18:03:04 -0500 Report

I agree, enough is enough. People need to learn to let things go or take a valium and calm down. It's over, that should be the end of it.

azmisty 2008-10-21 08:54:11 -0500 Report

I have tried really hard to stay out of this mess…but as a person who loves to talk…I can't hold my tongue any longer and I am going against my own best advice and adding my 2 cents…

I have read KD,s original statement at least 4 times and no where in that statement do I read him personally attacking anyone.

So, evidently perception is everything. If anyone is unhappy with what this site has to offer…it is simple…just don't come to it!!!

I for one love this site, what it has to offer and the friends that I have made…and most of all what I can learn!

For those who want to argue, condemn and insult people…please start your own site…maybe it could be called…

Please grow up and get a grip on reality…which means…realize that no one is attacking you personally!!!


Anonymous 2008-10-21 09:10:01 -0500 Report

You obviously did not read everything that was said. It has over 100 replies. And unless it has been taken down he insulted all of us and our ability to read and exist.

sexyswamprat 2008-10-22 18:00:16 -0500 Report

That is not what Kd did at all. I read every post. And I don't believe that KD insulted anyone. Names were never mentioned and it was you that called yourself out. Heres a thought for ya, why don't you start your own website and see how smoothly it runs. I'm sure with you running it would just be the most PERFECT website ever.

NamVet - 21894
NamVet - 21894 2008-10-21 08:36:10 -0500 Report

I loved this site, but I am gone because of kd and how he insulted people.
I think he should be banned.
Sorry to go but there are other places.

GabbyPA 2008-10-21 06:52:21 -0500 Report

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. It's a great book about how men and women are different in our communication. This is one of the primal differences in communicating thru the written word here on this site.

We women tend to read between the lines, guys are just kind of to the point. It doesn't make one better, just makes us differnt. We need to understand that.

Keeping this in mind, we all can reach an understanding that our ultimate goal is to make this a great place to be. No one here intends to hurt anyone, some of us just have a little more finese. No one intends to upset anyone, some days we are just having an off day and our triggers are sprung at the slightest things.

John has poured his life into this site. Many of us have and perhaps we are in the terrible two's right now. Testing and pushing our limits....but like all families, we will grow thru it, and be better for it.

I apologize if I have upset some of you with some of the recent discussions. Never is it my intent to hurt, side, bully or push anyone around. I try to diffuse with humor our more pointed elements, and sometimes that doesn't come out right.

We come from different cultures, backgrounds, struggles and triumphs. So let's put on our tolerance caps and learn that each individual here is vital to the heart beat of our community.

Forgiveness will calm the soul. It is a freeing element that we each have in ourselves to exercise or not. When we don't, such sorrow exudes from our souls and onto the screen that it saddens me.

I love it here. I love everything about this site. Even the arguments. They push us to reach deep and examine ourselves. If they don't then the point is missed for having a chance to express our thoughts and insights at all. When I learn, when I grow, when I am challenged to do better, be better and change, then I know I am truly alive.

Anonymous 2008-10-21 07:00:38 -0500 Report

Have you become Little Mary Sunshine. You are not blameless in this either. This goes alot further than forgiveness. My intelligence and all of ours was insulted. Our ability to read was insulted and you want everything to be hunky dory again. If that works for you go right ahead. But when I am told that he does not know how we get out of bed in the morning, I have a problem with that. It is not about differences, and sexes or anything that simple. It is about a rude, arrogant man that started all of this yesterday by making an example of people. And the rest is history.

GabbyPA 2008-10-21 07:09:36 -0500 Report

Yep, that is me! Though most people call me Pollyanna. LOL I know it's an annoying trait to have to some people, but it gets me thru the day.

Yes, I understand I am not blamelss. In the heat of it, I was struggling to keep my composure and I did just what John wanted us not to do. I just want to move on before this infects the whole site. We are better than this. We can rise above this. We can move on if we choose to.

Anonymous 2008-10-21 07:15:42 -0500 Report

It already affected the whole site. I have reported this to the Alliance Health Network because I have written numerous e-mails to John and all he says is that they are reviewing things. How incredibly sad that a site to help Diabetics cope with their disease has added another element of stress to an already stressful situation. My blood pressure is up, my numbers are up and I am in more pain because this has made me incredibly upset.

vgarrison 2008-10-23 07:47:58 -0500 Report

Ok you can be Pollyanna, but then can I be Little Miss Sunshine, because I too think the same way you do. I love life!! My Grandfather taught me from a very early age, if you don't have your downs, your bad days, your horrible people, or days where everything just goes wrong, then how in the world are you supposed to know when life is good, there are good people out there, or you cant wait to get out of bed, and see what the day has to bring you??


Anonymous 2008-10-21 06:23:47 -0500 Report

Then something needs to be done about KD roberts. I am insulted, offended in his comments on the reviews posts. I have contacted Alliance Health Network and reported this and him. You may choose to overlook this but I will not. Tell him to have understanding, he started all of this by making us feel stupid. There was no kindness, respect or understanding in his comments. I want a public apology.

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