Post Etiquette

By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2013-07-25 09:25:13 -0500
Started 2011-07-21 13:45:13 -0500

I have come across a few discussions of late that have had a lot of name calling and arguments in them that have not been very constructive.

Let me say that everyone is entitled to their opinion and no one should be mocked or belittled for sharing anything on this site, specially as it pertains to personal ways we are dealing with diabetes. What we share here in the discussions are opinions and suggestions and if it is not to your liking then it is okay to disagree, but lets keep it civil, please.

Name calling, mocking grammar or spelling and attacks on people whom you don't even know is really uncalled for. There are ways to express your disagreement or correction without attacking the person. That is not what we are here for.

If something is totally inappropriate, please use our little red flag tool, and flag the reply or post. Let the folks in charge check it out. There is no need to get snide, or vindictive with any member. It is better to say nothing, than to destroy the person of the post.

Teresa Rose posted a beautiful discussion on Kindness…perhaps we all need to practice a little ourselves.

112 replies

annamaria2013 2013-07-23 12:15:58 -0500 Report

don't shoot me if i say…kindness and good manners won't cost you a penny, so why not "use" it, and besides we get enough "slaps across the face" from life we don't need to same from eachother. just an idea…again please don't shoot me :)

hairbear68 2013-07-23 13:45:15 -0500 Report

idk sometimes I feel ppl see me as weak becoz i'm in a chair so they think they can walk all over me or just beat the sh++t out of me then I feel like a freak being pushed around in front of ppl so I feel like i'm in a no win situation me addict brother even hinted too hiting me with a bat becoz I want the 500+ dollars he owes me

GabbyPA 2013-07-25 09:25:13 -0500 Report

My husband is in a wheelchair and one thing attracted me to him was that he didn't let the chair enslave him. He had confidence in himself and who he was. The chair should not define you, just like diabetes should not define us. Your chair is a tool you have to use. Nothing more. The person who sits in it is who needs to be confident and strong.

I understand the days when it's hard. There are days my husband wishes he had a new body. "One that works" is how he puts it. And I see strangers feel more comfortable to talk to me right over his head and it bothers me. So I let him do the talking when people do that. They have to realize that he's there and he demands the same courtesies as I do.

And if people are doing physical harm to you, there are very strict laws that protect people with disabilities. You need to be aware of your rights and your protections and not be afraid to let people know, even if they are family, that those laws are going to put them away for a long time if they physically attack you.

Tony5657 2012-12-27 05:47:50 -0600 Report

Thanks Gabby for this discussion!

Regarding "spelling" errors, I use the Chrome browser which has a built in spell checkur ( it just underlined that spelling error in red). LOL

The Google Chrome browser is free. Get it at:
OR type in

AND if you don't have a clue in the spelling you can use the online dictionary at:

Tony5657 in New Braunfels, TX

jayabee52 2012-12-27 12:57:22 -0600 Report

mozilla firefox browser does that also ~

If I am on a computer I don't have administrator priveleges on (like the computer I am on now), I will go to a word processing program and check there. Open office (free dowmload ~ sorry i can't give the link as the blocking program won't let me even open the webpage) word processor program will tell if what I have typed into it is misspelled, using the similar wavy red line beneath the word.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2011-07-26 16:38:36 -0500 Report

You know___ I get really mean and ugly when my bs is whacked. Maybe that is what happened to whoever is being bad????? LOL

GabbyPA 2011-07-27 20:10:13 -0500 Report

That could be. I know I have a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde syndrome when my levels are high too.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-09-14 14:10:59 -0500 Report

I am glad you have admitted this. It is the first step to being cured.
(I know this is late, but you posted this during summer camp)

GabbyPA 2011-09-14 17:21:44 -0500 Report

I they have a 12 step program for mood swings? Or is it a 24 step program because we are two different people depending on the day? LOL

digitaldoorbell 2011-07-26 00:04:46 -0500 Report

I understand and agree with the intent and content of your message. I do have to confess that I was glad to see that you went back and spelled the word "etiquette" correctly. I don't hold it against anyone, but I think it's kind of helpful if we can help in other ways too. The sad truth is that consciously or subconsciously, people judge others by how they communicate. I don't mind learning lots of things here and hope that others may be receptive to the same approach. I would never correct someone with the intent of embarrassing anyone . I am also prone to a type or two. A spell checker would sure be nice. In any event, thank you for the information. Like many things, this can be a teachable moment. We're here to support each other.

sadi23 2011-10-13 17:01:24 -0500 Report

I would like to also to have spell checker, on this site? Who know people that knows people, that could get that for us??:):) I have made the mis-take of reading someones words differently, then they attended them to mean.. puttings things like LOL, JK (just kidding), explaining what you mean in your writting. I found I don't get my words read, in a different manor then written, when I try to add those small things in. I just learning the etiquette of FB as well. I wish they had a cheat list of sayings or letters, so we could all use the same ones, and if we come arross one we don't know, we could look it up. If anyone knows how to bring any of these ideas, many of us have, let us know, so we can request or see if there are ready available, but I don't know where..So anyone out there have any ideas, know where or how we can get or use something like spell checker, or letters meanings like LOL, JK etc. please let me know… small thanks to all of you, Teri

Old-n-Grey-n-Wiser 2011-10-13 17:11:41 -0500 Report

The google tool bar has a spell check which I use all the time Old-n-Grey

sadi23 2011-10-15 15:14:43 -0500 Report

Walk me through it, as if I am 4…i am a little slow…Do I goole the words tool bar? i have yahoo tool bar, but I don't see speel checker on it…help me…thanks so much…Teri sadi23

sadi23 2011-10-15 17:02:49 -0500 Report

oldandgray, thank you, as you can see, I spelled Google incorrectly haha i will do that now, I will get back at you…lots of thanks…"Hold on a hug is coming your way, I don't want to knock you over"" haha talk soon Teri

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-09-14 14:16:30 -0500 Report

James (does HE need any other identification?) told me a while back to hook up with Mozilla Firefox. You get into this site through this and it does spell check for you. I hate misspellings on my part because it makes me feel uneducated. It gets me real ticked off when I know I am misspelling something and don't have a clue how to correct it. Alzheimer's is one of those words. People say "Alz timers" because it sounds like "Old timers". When I needed that word the other week I tried to get close for spell check to help me out. Ended up going up top of this page to "other communities" and sure enough it was there!

sadi23 2011-10-13 17:10:41 -0500 Report

Mr. Jim Oh please tell me how:):): to get spell check on these sites?? Write like I am 4 years old, I get around the computor some, but don't know most terms. So write slowly please LOL I will be very greatful…thank you Mr. Jim I am Teri, I have been a member of the Lupus, COPD, MS Connect for quite sometime, I guess over a year. I was just diagnosed with Diabetes type 2 out of control, about a month ago. I would love to be friends, if you would to, please request me:) thanks for your help… Teri sadi23

Mickey/CCHT 2011-10-14 14:08:26 -0500 Report

Dear sadi23, I will be your friend! As soon as i figure out how! I thought i had, but i was wrong! I'm like you, not very computer savvy! But that's ok, as long as you get your point accross, thats all that matters! Keep the faith! God Bless You

sadi23 2011-10-15 15:10:52 -0500 Report

Mickey/CCHT as you can see, i did it, requested you to be my friend, I know hoe now. Go to friends, uper right, click then go to brouse, you can look throught them, or just take the name off a post, and type into the right top box, it goes to the person, then click freind request…tada…easy, but I find easy hard haha thanks so much, have a great day teri

sadi23 2011-10-14 16:11:16 -0500 Report

Mickey/CCHT hell-o, I asked you, cus I didn't know how to invite you to be my friend :) but i think i figured it out last night, so if you haven't requested yet, I will try in a minute…Thanks so much..I think you click on friends, up top, then type the name in right, top box, or browse through…?? i will try..God watch over you and yours…Keep intouch Teri sad23 (sadi my 1/2 black Lab and my Son Evans age, until next month, as he'll be 24, so that makes sadi23 {:>)<: but just call me Teri bye for now :))

jayabee52 2011-10-13 20:46:16 -0500 Report

Howdy Terri WELCOME to DC!
If you have mozilla firefox use that as your browser. They have a spelcheck built into the browser. If you don't have it, perhaps you could google it and download it for free to your computer.

GabbyPA 2011-10-14 08:51:57 -0500 Report

This is what I use and it is a huge help. But for some reason, it doesn't spell check in the "Title" of our posts. Oh the fun of computers. LOL

sadi23 2011-10-14 16:24:15 -0500 Report

Yes the computer world. I am still afraid to keep all my work doc's and personal stuff, as a few years ago, my last laptop,(the 4th, crazy!) went "mad" and I have never been able to retreave years of work and person files, i took it in and it would cost about 200.00 just to look at, and they couldn't say if they would be able to get it back.:(:( so I have had to re right, A lot… so I am staying mostly "oldschool" but I am willing and wanting to learn what all the basic terms, and tricks are. i have taken a basic class, but i think we have to learn through the people we communicate with. That is how I learned what I do know…Thanks and if there is anyone there, that wants to give me tricks, or the code words, like LOL LMAO KJ @ thats about all I know, or key stroke short cuts??? and of couse Diabetes information haha sorry :) got off track, but even here, we could use and understand some writtings, by knowing this, so some what related :) god Bless Teri

jayabee52 2011-10-15 08:25:15 -0500 Report

I took one that I fried to Best Buy's Geek squad and they looked at it and determined it was TOAST! But they were able to pull 2 folders off of my hard drive. I asked them for the 2 folders was the "desktop" and the "my folders" files. It took them 5 DVDs to get all of that off the hard drive but most of my most important work was saved that way.

I now have an external hard drive to which I save frequently. Sometimes I am really anal and save my important work to a CD/RW.

sadi23 2011-10-15 15:06:24 -0500 Report

jayabee52 thanks, about what did it cost you? i have some real important documents, I would really like to get…I print and save on DVD's as well, i am so afraid something like this will happen again, and my years of work, is on my lap top. One just has a frozen screen, it wont do anything, i have tried all the things in the book, 'What you do if your screen freezes, but no..any ideas on that one?? thank your friend Teri

sadi23 2011-10-13 21:37:26 -0500 Report

Thank you so very much, I will try that right now. Thanks for the warm welcome…Talk to ya soon..Teri

Auburn Bill
Auburn Bill 2011-07-25 10:05:39 -0500 Report

I saw alot of backstabbing in woirk for 30 years! The latest got me put on the floor doing assembly work instead of my electrical engineering job!
The name calling happened when my diabetes plunged to 47, hit a parking lot car at work, ran away, but troopers got to me! Thank God, for I didnot know what I was doing! My buddy told me the folks had alot to say about me, not knowing I had diabetes and the seriousness of having low blood sugar while driving - had only one girl tell me I was NUTS" and could have Killed someone! True, but God sent me angels to protect me and folks around me! Grandpa Bill

jladytiger1979 2011-07-24 18:20:24 -0500 Report

I've been MIA for a minute. What in the world is going on??!

jayabee52 2011-07-24 18:34:59 -0500 Report

Lol, LoL! See what happens when you go missing? LoL!

notgatorbait 2011-07-24 09:15:28 -0500 Report

I am new to these discussions but I have only read lots of encouragement from everybody. I hope we can all keep the negativity away & keep on encouraging each other!

AuntieBear 2011-07-24 04:28:41 -0500 Report

It has been my experience that the more you are mean and degrading and ridiculing to a person, the more the person feels lees like a person and more of a waste of space. But if you treat the person with kindness and encourage them and act towrds them in a positive manner, they have a tendency to open up and blossom like a beautiful rose. From the first time I came on DC, I had the opinion that I was not among any "waste of space" but I was surrounded by many many flowers in a beautiful garden. Hopefully all the flowers will overpower the weeds until the weeds have no choice but to blossom into soemthing beautiful themselves. Just my thought on the matter.

toodles 2011-07-23 23:18:57 -0500 Report

I was surprised that ugly negative, crude, rude, comments have been made on this site. We are All Adults and no one needs to be put down or bullied. It is okay to have opinions. We are unique human beings and we do not have to think the same as others or to like everybody. Be an adult and treat people with respect. Thank you for allowing me to voice my thoughts and opinions.

jayabee52 2011-07-23 23:33:06 -0500 Report

Unfortunately we live in a world where "ugly negative, crude, rude, comments" and behaviors by adults are the rule rather than the exception.

That does not mean that is or should be acceptable here on DC. That's why the red flag icon is necessary: To report those bad actors so they may be weeded out.

tabby9146 2011-07-23 20:51:38 -0500 Report

Sorry this has happened. I am glad that I have not run across the posts you are referring to. There never is a good reason to be rude and I hope it doesn't happen again.

sue11542 2011-07-23 18:45:39 -0500 Report

Gabby, so sorry you had to pick up on that kind of attitude, hopefully it is only a passing thing, maybe the individual of individuals had a fight with their spouse or significant other and took it out on DC. Everyone is entitled to a bad day!!! Love, Sue

Turtle 2011-07-23 17:12:03 -0500 Report

You are so right Gabby. I am sorry if I was one of the people you are talking about. I did not mean to come across that way and one thing everyone might try to remember is that writing here what you want to say and talking with someone face to face is very different. I try to treat others as I want to be treated. Sometimes I mess up.

GabbyPA 2011-07-24 08:04:07 -0500 Report

We all do. I had a joke back fire and create a problem as well. It is hard in this medium to always get our point across the way we mean it.

cottoncandybaby 2011-07-23 10:11:40 -0500 Report

I have not been on in about a week (too much company-happy now that the house is back to quiet!), but I have always enjoyed being on this site and have seen very little serious disagreements. I agree with you, that we all should remember the purpose of this site, to be supportive of all of us diabetics on here. I find the support and comraderie (hope that is spelled right)on here can make the difference between having a great day or a lousy day. It could be that the awful heat of this summer has brought out the worst in a few people… :)

GabbyPA 2011-07-24 08:05:42 -0500 Report

That may be more true that you realize. It is hot and we get cranky and huffy sometimes, just because we feel crappy. When I am feeling badly, I try to abstain from getting into any long comments, because they can get messy.

June Tademy
June Tademy 2011-07-22 21:48:50 -0500 Report

I have not been on this site for awhile I have been on the Obesity Site so I do not know what was going on although I did read the post. This is not the first time this has happened and it probably will not be the last, people get heated and forget that this is a helping site not a debating site. I am sure no one really intended to go overboard but it is hurtful and name calling should never be tolerated. Just use common sense people we are at this site because so many people on the outside give us grief and we do not need it from our own people - let us all take a deep breath before we respond and if it is too much for you please just do not say anything you only make yourself look bad. I love all of you and we should really really love each other and help each other we do not need stress:) I myself try to keep my discussions on the low key so as not to upset anyone Lord knows I do not and cannot take stress from anyone I have enough of my own and that is dealing with this diabetes!!!!

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-21 21:51:14 -0500 Report

I always do my best to put myself in the place of others. I try to treat others how I want to be treated. I love this site & there are many, many wonderful human beings on DC. We all need to do our best to be polite because we are examples to others that may be looking for answers that they desperately need. The world is watching us DC. Let's show them a class act. - Love you all & Blessings To Everyone!

sue11542 2011-07-23 18:42:35 -0500 Report

I agree!!!!!!!! We are all in the same little boat. If we get nasty with each other then we might as well just start bailing very fast, We will sink instead of swim. The idea of the site is to be kind, caring and supportive of each other, not to throw stones at each other. Love to all

Harlen 2011-07-21 20:50:56 -0500 Report

Live and let live
What works for me may or may not work for you ,You just never realy know till you try it .
Best wishes

runthe 2011-07-21 19:51:30 -0500 Report

Hi everyone here is a poem that I thought that you will like.
By: Lara Krumwiede

Kindness looks for the ways to help.
Kindness lets a friend go first.

Kindness tries to keep the peace.
Kindness never thinks the worst.

Kindness plays with everyone.
Kindness gives a loving touch.

Kindness speaks with gentle words.
Kindness never takes too much.

Kindness cares and kindness knows.
Kindness shares and kindness shows.

VickieF 2011-07-22 00:30:09 -0500 Report

Runthe, How beautiful. Thank you. I was raised to "put youself in the other persons shoes before you juge them." Well, I try to do that and also remember that I have no right to judge anyone. If I judge them unfairly when my time comes to be judged it would be a shame to be judged harshly for my judgement of someone else. God will take care of it when it is time.

Somoca 2011-07-21 18:05:53 -0500 Report

I believe the proper spelling is Etiquette. As an English Professor, I had to say it. :D

GabbyPA 2011-07-25 19:39:03 -0500 Report

I had the team fix it for me....LOL I will never misspell that word again. Of course, I cannot speak for other words.

tabby9146 2011-07-23 20:54:18 -0500 Report

I was getting ready to post the spelling too. I am funny that way, a word just stands out to me. I used to work in an English dept. at a University.

GabbyPA 2011-07-22 07:41:13 -0500 Report squiggly in the title box. I am lost without a spell check.

AuntieM234 2011-07-24 05:11:17 -0500 Report

I wouldn't correct someone else's writing on here, but I wish we were able to make corrections to our own discussions. (I had a typo in a discussion I opened and tried what you said, James. Neither the tech I contacted nor the CA responded to me.) It doesn't make sense to me that we are able to make corrections on these little replies, but unable to edit ourselves in the title or body of the discussion. I think some members may become afraid to open or reply to a discussion if they were corrected by another member. We all know that won't happen in Gabby's case. I'm just saying … ;-) Mara

jayabee52 2011-07-23 23:48:38 -0500 Report

If you want to go through the hassle, Gabby, you can contact the tech people for DC and have them change the title. I know of someone who got the tech ppl to change a misspelled title. For me it is a noticable thing, but not an important thing.

If I am unsure about how a word is spelled, I will call up MS Word, or Open office writer and write out the title and the post I intend to post and let the spell check work its magic. However I have to still be alert for misuse of homonyms ie: 'four, for, fore" ect, as they may be spelled correctly but used incorrectly, so the spellcheck won't put the red squiggly line under these.

Type1Lou 2011-07-25 17:21:22 -0500 Report

As long as we understand what is being said/intended…I can't see what the big deal is about a misspelling. After all, with all the liberties being taken by texting, the language is I hope we are evolving. The important thing is being understood! (I did note that the title got corrected though…bravo!

GabbyPA 2011-07-25 19:40:56 -0500 Report

I hate text talk. There are a few that everyone knows, but I really hate it. I guess I am getting old and need to have things spelled out for me and not try to guess what they are saying. LOL (ooops! there's one!)

jayabee52 2011-07-25 22:53:31 -0500 Report

I like to spell most things out because I don't want to be misunderstood. I get enough of that already, I feel. Sometimes when folks type things like "b 4 2 u 2" I scratch my head and have to figure out what was intended. I can usually figure it out but it slows me down on my understanding. I will, however, use the more common text abbreviations like LoL or ROTFL. because I think those are almost universally understood.

Type1Lou 2011-07-26 07:59:50 -0500 Report

ROTFL? I guess I'll have to Google that one…I don't text and can barely use a cell phone! While I may have difficulty initially understanding some of these modern abbreviations, it challenges me to try to keep up and keeps me from crawling back deeper into my comfort cave. Thank heavens for Google! OK, ROTFL = Rolling on the floor laughing…of course!

jayabee52 2011-07-26 13:21:10 -0500 Report

OK so I was wrong about ROTFL being almost universally understood. How many lashes with a wet noodle do I get? LoL!

Type1Lou 2011-07-26 14:02:28 -0500 Report

That's gotta be a low-carb wet noodle for you, James! But I do like being challenged, even if I don't carry a cell phone or text! SKTTAC… So Keep Those Text Abbreviations Coming! With Google, I won't be left in the dark.

jayabee52 2011-07-26 16:03:32 -0500 Report

I do carry a cell which has one of those slide out Querty keyboards (nice set-up for texting) but I had the capacity to text turned off because I didn't want to get charged extra per text

Actually it started out being Jem's phone, but she liked mine better, and because they weren' making or stocking mine any more I switched phones with her.

I use google to research the abeviations that i come across too.

nzingha 2011-07-22 06:48:25 -0500 Report

can we inbox corrections to the individuals.. or request their e-mail.. just to be kind and considerate.. i see loads of errors in writing.. gosh i'm in communications and i do make them especially when i write in a hurry and don't have the time to proof… we already have to be fighting this horrible disease.. let's not add to people's stress!

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