Kindness

Teresa Rose
By Teresa Rose Latest Reply 2016-10-03 11:25:56 -0500
Started 2011-07-12 01:09:35 -0500

Since there was a discussion on rudeness I thought it would be only fair to have a discussion about kindness. Lets hear about something kind that someone has said to you or done for you in your lifes.


200 replies

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2016-09-23 12:45:01 -0500 Report

I have received a lot of support and words of kindness both from here and FB on my recent termination. I turned my employer in for burial of Hazardous waste, after letting him know that it was highly illegal. He did it anyway. Thanks

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-09-25 09:52:38 -0500 Report

Oh my goodness. Your employer is the one who should have been fired. Is that at the camp?? That is awful.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2016-10-03 11:25:56 -0500 Report

Yes it was. He has said stuff like "We can't afford to conform to all the laws and codes. We are a non-profit Christian Camp" The lists of violations, beside the HW burial, included fire code, rooming violations, and many more. They do not have the money to take care of these things, but they had $8000 to buy a slip and slide. Oh well.

2015-08-18 18:45:00 -0500 Report

I give kindness to everyone. Family, friends, neighbors, the mail girl, grocery clerks, etc. But I am so hurt that so many people do not return the kindness. I don't understand what this world has come to. No one has manners, or any understanding any more. I go out in this world and see skowls and miserable people. I have had all nice responses on DC, even though I had some crazy questions. However, I did read a few discussions and some people just go way off the deep end with their opinions and bad attitudes. I got off of DC for a while and may do the same again.

SAC112750
SAC112750 2016-09-17 06:32:16 -0500 Report

I have gotten off two or three times now. It is the same few people with the "snarky" attitudes. I don't appreciate it either. I want to be treated like I treat other people…with respect, kindness, a simple smile, a hello, etc. You know what I mean!

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-02-06 19:39:18 -0600 Report

wow seems I really missed something…LOL I am new here and I haven't seen anything harsh at all. Everything I have read is very encouraging and everyone is so supportive of each other.

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-01-08 20:54:15 -0600 Report

The animals, "kept me" (grim smirk) from eating those large turkey roll ups I was going to snack on? That count?
(Mumbling incoherently about his pets "in need" of a new home) >8 >

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2014-05-10 11:07:25 -0500 Report

I* don't know why it is so hard for people to show kindness to any one. we need to show kindness to ur Mom 's tomorrow. we need to show kindness to the library at the public library, the postman, the guy that helps Us at the gas station. The person who delievers are New paper. Ruth Tinkerbell54

Dean 02601
Dean 02601 2013-06-07 14:25:28 -0500 Report

Kindeness is great when i grocery shop i hand the carriage to the next person i see who looks like they need one. and when im in a store i tend to help people find stuff…but then again i worked retail for 20 years before becoming a CNA now i work with developmentally disabled people and i love it

tinkerbell54
tinkerbell54 2013-05-04 01:02:27 -0500 Report

Kind words go along better than mean words. As my MOM would say if U don't have anything nice 2 " KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT." Tinkerbell54

bessie curtis
bessie curtis 2011-09-17 18:30:55 -0500 Report

I am a single mother of 6 children. I work most of my life, I am a driver and one day my babysitter said she could not babysit no more, so I hade to resign from my job which I love so much. I am a very independent person who usually depend on self and the good lord up above whom is god. I pray at all times in god and bad times. I have 2 disable children one who has seizures alot the other who has lead poison. when I left my job I was so depress because I couldn't do for my children like I really wanted to. I can remember 1 year I was so lost because the christmas holiday was coming and I didn't have any money to get my children anything for the holiday I was really hurt, then a police officer comes up to me and says she have been seeing me and my children outside alot, and ask me did I wanted her to put me and my children on the christmas list and I said sure ,so then she ask me to write down 4 things we wanted each and 4 things that we needed each. I wrote down what she ask, then she left. On the3rd day before christmas there were 8 police cars that came to my home with plenty of gifts they knock on the door and ask was I bessie curtis and I reply yes and they said they have all the christmas present I wrote on the paper, and then I was so speechless then tears came from my eyes, so when I finally got myself together I thank them so many times I can't remember, because noone ever did nothing like that for me and my family then I begain to pray and we started praying together. that was the kindes thing anyone ever did for me and my family, that was really a blessing for us. I was really emotional and everytime it cross my mind I get emotional I thank god for kind people.

YankeeLady
YankeeLady 2015-03-13 14:34:24 -0500 Report

it goes to show that there IS kindness in this world and I'm glad it found door for you and your children — God Bless

MewElla
MewElla 2011-09-19 08:53:30 -0500 Report

What a beautiful story…I am sure you will never forget this, and others will be linked to this story as well.. God Bless You and yours.

bessie curtis
bessie curtis 2011-09-19 09:49:41 -0500 Report

THANK YOU. It is always a blessing when someone has bless you, but at the same time when god bless me with anything I always try to bless another. When me and my children was blessed on that christmas holiday that was a day to always remember. Every year I send the police force a thank you card.

Mickie G
Mickie G 2011-09-17 22:15:45 -0500 Report

Your story touched me deeply. I hope that you are given the chance to pass this blessing on to others! I have received a lot of kindness since I have joined this and two other sites. I have received acceptance, encouragement, advice, information and friendship. It may seem like a small thing, but when you do not get it in any measure elsewhere, it can be and has been a most welcomed blessing! Thank you all.

bessie curtis
bessie curtis 2011-09-19 09:52:14 -0500 Report

The connect has a lot of kind people, and I am really enjoying myself talking to all. THANK YOU team we can build on eachother.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-09-17 19:10:52 -0500 Report

That is beautiful and you are beautiful!!! I have so much respect for you!!! You are an awesome Mother. Nothing meant more to me in life than my children. I stayed home and took care of my children as well because it would have took everything that I could have made at a job to pay a sitter & not only that but I am a jealous Mom. I wanted to experience everything my kids did. We were poor but rich in love. I made alot of my kids christmas presents, well for the girls at least and I had 3 girls. 1 boy wasn't too much to buy for and it didn't take much to make him happy. - Bless You, you are a perfect example of how a Mother should be!!! - Teresa Rose

bessie curtis
bessie curtis 2011-09-19 09:58:57 -0500 Report

THANK you Teresa my children is my first priority. Sometimes family and friends tell me I need to make time for myself but, I explain to them when you bring a child in this world that means all your free time is over. I must focus my time and attention on my children form birth until they are adults, meaning when I feel that they can handle the real world.

robertoj
robertoj 2011-09-16 14:34:12 -0500 Report

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
Mother Teresa
We can have misunderstandings and offer sometimes misguided advice but we cannot be unkind. I try to do my best to be supportive and offer my experiences and feelings. I try to remind people that they have value; a lot of people are most unkind to themselves. Most of us are not taught how to set boundaries and the result is that we turn criticism inward. When we do that we either accept the absurd as truth or lash out at others. When someone offers me advice I ignore the tone and make a judgment based on merit. If it seems to make sense but doesn't work it does not mean it's bad advice. I would like to applaud the vast majority of kind, caring and thoughtful members of this community. People that are unkind are spiritually sick and deserve our prayers.

bessie curtis
bessie curtis 2011-09-19 10:06:29 -0500 Report

That is so true, I have came across all types of people, but for the unkind ones just because someone comes to me and say unkind words to me I don't get upset and lash back to that person, but instead I will pray for that person. I always keep a smile on my face.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2011-09-17 08:15:31 -0500 Report

I like so much what you said about being misunderstood or misguided but we must keep mean spirit out. That can turn beautiful words into swords.

bamagirlchp
bamagirlchp 2011-09-16 13:45:12 -0500 Report

One year my husband and I didn't have the money to buy our son anything for Christmas so this sweet lady bought my son a back seat full of things. I cried for the longest. Then to top it off the preacher bought us food all all kinds of things we needed. I thanked them all repeated. You never know what others are going through and it just pays sometimes to show some kindness. God bless

leana1967
leana1967 2011-09-15 08:30:10 -0500 Report

It took my a while to think of something kind some one has done for me but after weeks of thinking i hit me then my computer went down . so now i have that chance. All my life i have been a victim of all types of abuse:when my son 10 years old and he is 24 now , we had his birthday party and every thing went well one week after that April 23 IT WAS ON A Wednesday . i was burning trash i saw a spark in the corner of my eye as i turned to look and there was an explosion a ball of fire hit me in the face I had 2nd. and 3rd.degree burns to my face ,1ST. Degree on 1 arm and 3rd degree an the other arm couldn't use my hands my grand mother got mad when she had to feed me . it was so bad @ first my son was scared to look at me let alone touch me Then we moved and my son turned in to a man at the age of 10 he was afraid he would hurt me so when we moved he would fix something for us to eat he would feed me , soak my arms in my treatment water.then my psychical therapy. and change the dressing on my arms and warp them and feed me. when i was well enough to feed my self after about 7 or 8 weeks he would fix us something to eat then leave me something the next morning before he went to school to eat i was allowed to cook for a while one morning he fix us a pb&j sandwich and a glass of milk for breakfast and always took care of me when i got sick he is my Angel. his name is Thomas he always did what no one else would

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-09-15 08:43:22 -0500 Report

That's so sweet! what a wonderful son. So many young people thease days are selfish and only care for themselves and have such disrespect for their parents. It's great to hear about about your son and how he took care of you at such a young age. My grandson is almost 10 and he has the same kind of care about others. Please give Thomas a big hug for me. He is truly an angel on earth!!!

leana1967
leana1967 2011-09-15 08:31:55 -0500 Report

All my life i have been a victim of all types of abuse:when my son 10 years old and he is 24 now , we had his birthday party and every thing went well one week after that April 23 IT WAS ON A Wednesday . i was burning trash i saw a spark in the corner of my eye as i turned to look and there was an explosion a ball of fire hit me in the face I had 2nd. and 3rd.degree burns to my face ,1ST. Degree on 1 arm and 3rd degree an the other arm couldn't use my hands my grand mother got mad when she had to feed me . it was so bad @ first my son was scared to look at me let alone touch me Then we moved and my son turned in to a man at the age of 10 he was afraid he would hurt me so when we moved he would fix something for us to eat he would feed me , soak my arms in my treatment water.then my psychical therapy. and change the dressing on my arms and warp them and feed me. when i was well enough to feed my self after about 7 or 8 weeks he would fix us something to eat then leave me something the next morning before he went to school to eat i was allowed to cook for a while one morning he fix us a pb&j sandwich and a glass of milk for breakfast and always took care of me when i got sick he is my Angel. his name is Thomas he always did what no one else would

nzingha
nzingha 2011-07-17 16:21:45 -0500 Report

I have a true friend of many years, an older woman…Maggie..She just lost her job. My car has been down and I need to get around to go to the doc, pay my bills, just loads of errands..No matter what, she has always come to my rescue and when I offer her gas for her car, she refuses to accept. I demand she goes to the station and I put the gas in her car. Compare that to my sister who uses my house like its her private domain and if u ask her to pick up a bottle of panadol.. the excuses flood in… I realise that as we all get older we need to have more Maggies in our lives. But remember always that kindness works two ways.. we dont always TAKE from people.. we must also give … that's my approach to life anyway..

tobar78
tobar78 2011-07-16 12:27:10 -0500 Report

I felt I had to share this. Just this morning, my little, (I mean younger and smaller) sister left her home in FL and saw an older woman sitting on the ground clutching a fire hydrant. Cars were just passing her by and no one even stopped to see if she needed help, which was quite obvious. My sister went to the woman and it turns out she was having a reacation to a new medication her Dr. had started her on and she had been there like that for over 30 minutes too disorientied and shaky to go any further. Amy called 911 and stayed with the woman until medical help arrived. Go little sis!
There are 2 lessons in this story. 1. Be kind to your fellow man. We all live in this world together, and nothing can be accomplished without assistance and experience. 2. Be careful when starting new medications. We as diabetics know this all too well, but don't take anything for granted.

RAYT721
RAYT721 2011-07-16 11:59:29 -0500 Report

I just want to take a second to say something about "kindness" with a "Thank You" to a member here on Diabetic Connect who I have been corresponding with for a little over a year old. This man and I have not (yet) met in person but we exchange private messages regularly.

He knows that my favorite artist is Maxfield Parrish and for my birthday sent a custom T shirt with my name on the front and an amazing Parrish print image on the back. Now, THAT is definite kindness! Kindness comes from listening to friends and acting on things you learn from the friendship. I am completely blown away!

What he doesn't know was that I had been recently looking on Ebay to find Max Parrish T shirts without success. Can you imagine my reaction to open that package this morning???

There are so many kind people here on Diabetic Connect (and the affiliate sites) that have certainly changed my life with simple words and actions … but this act of kindness was worthy of this discussion response.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-07-14 23:33:24 -0500 Report

Hi! Great idea for a discussion. And you obviously hit on a topic that a lot of us care about. I often remember the random acts of kindness. I was in the hospital this week and a chaplain stopped in to say hi and ask me how I was doing. It was a simple thing. And it reallly helped me to pick up my mood.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 19:43:58 -0500 Report

Teresa, I think this was the best topic anyone could start a discussion on. Thanks.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-14 20:00:55 -0500 Report

In this day & age we are surrounded by so much negativity. I know many, many great people and it took many great people to build this wonderful country we live in. I wanted everyone to share positive things because too often we focus on the negative. It's nice to hear some positive things for a change!!! And by the way - Thank you 50Jewels. I appreciate that word from you!!! ☺

Trudie Ann
Trudie Ann 2011-07-14 16:02:44 -0500 Report

I would like to share my definition of a kind person, and that definition is : Teresa Rose, and all of the wonderful people I have met at DC. You are all Loved and Appreciated much more than you will ever know.
Gods Love and Blessings
Trudie

Auburn Bill
Auburn Bill 2011-07-14 13:04:30 -0500 Report

During the month of March, I asssited the local Red cross chapter to get started on their Annual Dollars for Disaster Event for mid-June. Was a late start but I made contact with many sponsors who relied YES to my asking for their sponsorship for this fundraiser within 2 weeks period.
Was written up in the Red Cross semi annual report to the Retired Volunteer Seniors Program that I got 60 sponsors for this fundraiser, which raised $11,000. Never in my work record of the past 30 years at one company did I ever get a "positive report without any negativism added to management comments"!
This was very humbling experience, for God gave me a talent to communitcate to others for assistance. The local Red Cross Execitives Kindness was overwhelming to me! Grandpa Bill

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 21:19:56 -0500 Report

What an accomplishment. I have done some fund raising and it is so hard to ask people for their help sometimes. It takes a special person to be able to be so successful!

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-07-14 11:04:05 -0500 Report

A few years ago when my son and daughter-in-law lived in Ky. she was driving on the interstate and had a flat. Since it happened not far from the exit she got out of the car with my 2yr. old grandaUGHTER DECIDING TO WALK TO A PHONE. tHIS WAS IN THE DAYS BEFORE CELL PHONES. a NICELY DRESSED MAN STOPPED AND OFFERED TO TAKE HER BUT SHE DECLINED AND HE INSISTED BUT SHE HELD HER GROUND. sHE SAID THAT SHE JUST DIDN'T FEEL COMFORTABLE GETTING INTO THE CAR WITH HIM. NOT LONG AFTER ALONG CAME A BEAT UP OLD PICK-UP WITH 2 YOUNG ROUGH LOOKING GUYS. tHEY PULLED UP AND POLITELY ASKED IF THEY COULD HELP HER. THEY CHANGED THE TIRE, SHE AASKED IF SHE COULD PAY THEM AND THEY JUST NGOT BACK IN THEIR TRUCK AND WENT THEIR MERRY WAY. sHE SAID THAT SHE FELT MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THEM THEN THE NICELY DRESSED MAN.

tobar78
tobar78 2011-07-14 10:38:45 -0500 Report

We decided to take our 3 children aged 6, 4, and 5 months to Florida from Iowa 21 years ago to see my parents. It was mid-February in the Mid-West and on our return, the engine blew somewhere in central Illinois. We dressed the kids in all their winter garb with extra socks on their hands and wrapped them in whatever we had as it was about 10 degrees outside at 2 a.m. We started walking, carrying the kids and only got about 1/4 mile from the car when a gentleman stopped to give us a ride. He drove us 40 miles out of his way to a truck stop that was heated and had a place we could wait for help to arrive from home.
We tried to pay him for his kindness and he refused, asking only that we "Pay it Forward".
We have now adopted this philosophy and stop for most every person we see on the side of the road, or anyone who looks like they might need a helping hand.
The world would be a much better place if more people looked outside their own needs once in a while!

nzingha
nzingha 2011-07-17 16:23:41 -0500 Report

so true… but the world has gotten dangerous so u have to be careful who u pick up these days…

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-07-13 23:28:51 -0500 Report

After I had my 3 ministrokes and was unable to work my CNA jobs I was in a terrible financial pickle. I let one of my pastors know about the trouble I was having and the next Sunday a prayer was said about my "financial concerns". One fellow walked up to me immediately after the service and handed me an envelope contained $300. The next sunday an envelope containing $200 showed up in my mailbox with a card. The pastor also handed me another envelope given annonymously with $100 in it. Within 3 weeks I got personal donations totalling approximately $1000. A lot of wonderful people in that congregation! I thank God for them!

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-13 23:38:02 -0500 Report

That is wonderful! I love it when other are kind and give to others when they really need it most! Especially when they follow their hearts!

Gimpalong
Gimpalong 2011-07-13 23:11:58 -0500 Report

One summer many years ago, our A/C quit, and we didn't have the money to get it fixed due to my husband's company had a lock-out. We got a knock on the door, and an A/C man was there to fix our A/C. All he said was, "Someone loves you very much and they want to fix your A/C. To this day we do not know who was the sweet, caring person. We were truly blessed that day, and many special days since.

CGJewel
CGJewel 2011-07-13 15:16:57 -0500 Report

When I was a child we were never rich, but we also never wanted for anything. With that said, every year my parents would buy extra gifts and wrap them. I never saw these extra gifts again. It wasn't until I was older and my mother asked me to help her wrap them, that I understood why. My Dad would find a family who wasn't going to get a Christmas, and he would deliver to them a Christmas. Presents, food, decorations, the whole nine yards. I will never forget the lesson I learned from my amazing parents!

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-13 20:07:18 -0500 Report

When I was a child people brought me gifts for christmas several different times. If it weren't for those kind people I would not have had a christmas at all. I was so very grateful!!!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 12:26:24 -0500 Report

Where does one start? How about the "old guy" (about 10-15 years older than me) that made a U turn on US 50 and offered to change my flat for me? I had just had surgury on my shouldar and figured it would take me a good 2 hours to change the flat. He stopped and said, "If you get out of the way, I'd be happy to change that for you". Or the girl who was a friend of mine that came out from nowhere and hugged me and told me I could not hang myself as long as she loved me. (The depression is now well under control) No fantastically big things that I can recall, but love and kindness from others when I needed it the most. Thanks to all of you on DC, also. Jim

Gimpalong
Gimpalong 2011-07-14 17:18:32 -0500 Report

Hey Jim, you too have a lot to be thankful for. It always humbles me when some stranger comes along just to help with the problem. Thanks to you for being on DC. Where on 50 hwy do you live? I grew up in a town in MO that US 50 runs through. My parents still live in Lee's Summit. Just curious. Take care of you and have a wonderful week and weeken. Lots of hugs and prayers, Nancy.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2016-09-23 12:55:46 -0500 Report

The internet site was blocked at work, so my answer is 5 years later! I live 45 minutes west of Winchester, VA between Capon Bridge and Augusta in WV

cavie2
cavie2 2011-07-14 10:52:58 -0500 Report

And thanks to you for the many laughs you give everyone on this DC site, except me cos you still owe me points. lol ☺

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-14 12:43:13 -0500 Report

sorry Cavie, I already spent the points at the DC store!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-14 13:05:39 -0500 Report

And it takes awhile for me to convert these great smelling roses to virtual ones so I can send them overseas!
Today is the great boat race. The kids, using only duct tape and cardboard have to design and build a boat. One person from their team has to paddle it from one end of the pond to the other.

cavie2
cavie2 2011-07-14 17:04:17 -0500 Report

That sounds very much like the Mayflower when she sailed from Plymouth to America. It got waterlogged and so did their brains thats probably where the English language changed and they forgot how to spell properly and it affected their speech and gave them a funny accent. Now I know where you all get it from. lol ☺

SAC112750
SAC112750 2016-09-17 06:40:57 -0500 Report

"Frustrated with the enormous amount of time lost, and their inability to fix the Speedwell so that it could be sea-worthy, they returned to Plymouth, England, and made the decision to leave the Speedwell behind." The revamped voyage left from Plymouth, England, hence the name in the USA!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-14 13:05:30 -0500 Report

And it takes awhile for me to convert these great smelling roses to virtual ones so I can send them overseas!
Today is the great boat race. The kids, using only duct tape and cardboard have to design and build a boat. One person from their team has to paddle it from one end of the pond to the other.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-14 13:05:27 -0500 Report

And it takes awhile for me to convert these great smelling roses to virtual ones so I can send them overseas!
Today is the great boat race. The kids, using only duct tape and cardboard have to design and build a boat. One person from their team has to paddle it from one end of the pond to the other.

cavie2
cavie2 2011-07-14 17:05:26 -0500 Report

Hey hing oan a minute here do a need glasses or what. Do you have a hiccup in your finger Jim

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-14 13:10:21 -0500 Report

That should be interesting Jim. I bet it's alot of work & fun at the summer youth camps! I went to church camp once. I was so glad to get home!

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-14 17:16:05 -0500 Report

It is interesting. There are actually 3 different staff groups. There is the Children's Education Staff, they are responsible for making sure all the supplies are where they are needed. Some of this group may or may not be here for all the camps. Then there is a camp staff for each week. These are the counselors and leaders provided by each church and the ones that are with the kids all day long. Then there is us, the Pine creek Camp staff. We take care of the grounds, buildings and facilities and the food. We are here all year long.

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-13 09:02:21 -0500 Report

I have a friend named Donna that i've known for a very long time. She is always there for me no matter what my circumstances are. She has watched me go through 2 marriages, one that I tried very hard to salvage (the father to my daughter - my only living child) and then eight years after that divorce, I met this man that I calculated to be husband material so I married him. I woke up one morning to find him molesting my oldest granddaughter who lives with me. Without going into too much detail, I will say that Donna was amazing through all of this… she took me to Scotty's House (an advocacy for children) where my granddaughter was examined and her testimony was recorded. She took me to therapy sessions and was there for me with a ride whenever I needed one because when I pressed charges on my husband he took the one vehicle we owned and ran. Finally after approxiimately seven days of him being on the loose he was arrested and I got my transportation back.

There were many things that had to be attended to. CPS was involved and there were emotions that I was dealing with because he was my husband and there were emotions and things that my little granddaughter was dealing with and then finding out the details of what he had done to not only my grandchild, I found out during the investigation period, he had years back also molested his own daughter and so there was another case that was going to be brought to justice due to what he had done to my granddaughter, as the combination of both cases built a strong case for each independent case.

During this tenure, the Detective who worked my case and correspondended with the detective in the other county where his daughter who was now 16 years of age lived, was truly amazing and he pulled the case to a close with a 30 year sentence. And the other detective pulled that case together with a 20 year sentence.

Through group therapy, I met a lot of amazing women who also had children that were molested and our group counselor was truly a God send as she did her work on a voluntary basis and met with us each week (as long as we needed).

During all this my friend, Donna supported me through all my emotions and hardships. I was finacially struggling without my husbands income and she got her church to pay a light bill for me and brought me groceries. I would say, "I don't know what I'm going to do." I was working, but I was an emotional and financial mess. She would say, "It's okay, we will get by." Somehow this just gave me hope. She encouraged me to consult with God sometimes on a moment to moment basis and to read my bible. She encouraged me to get my ministry license just by her support and demeanor.

She still keeps my grandchildren during the day while I work and she normally charges $115.00 per week per child but she always tells me, just pay what you can… I pay $115.00 for both children, so she is actually watching one of my grandchildren for free. She also makes sure during the school year the oldest is picked up from school and that she is safe.

I love my friend Donna and I've told her, "I wish I could do more for you." She always responds, "Your friendship is enough. Just being my friend is the greatest gift you can give to me. I love you."

This means so much.

Both my granddaughter and I are doing better. I continue to have her in therapy. She still has some issues with the molestation, as well as other issues because of her mother being in prison due to a drug charge (again my only living child). My friend Donna says when I get frustrated, "She needs a lot of love. We have to be patient."

If you know the Book of Job then you know the test of patience… Donna is amazing. She has this kind of patience and faith that encourages me and gives me not only hope, but strength to endure. She always has a smile on her face. When I drop the kids in the morning, I realize when I drive away, I'm smiling… she is a gift from God; a ray of sunlight that brightens my world and gives reason for each day and season.

Donna and I have been friends longer than some marriages. We've managed to stay in touch with each other for over 30 years. In our lives people come and they go… but endurance is the test of time… I appreciate this wonderful lady so much and am truly blessed to have her as my friend.

God bless each and every one of you.

Rev. Hixon

andy1979
andy1979 2014-12-04 10:35:20 -0600 Report

read your story and it brought tears to my eyes, thank god for people like your friend, i believe in retribution and hopefully your ex will get his in the prison he is serving his sentence. you as a person need applauding for the love and care you show yourself and grandkids. my best wishes go out to you and those that suffer through evil peoples hands.

Gimpalong
Gimpalong 2011-07-13 23:25:54 -0500 Report

I can hear your pain, and I'm so sorry. I'm so glad that you had your friend, Donna. She sounds like a real jewel. I will be praying that things will continue to improve for you and your children. If God puts us there, He will show us a way out. That is one of the reasons that has helped me endure some of life's challenges. Hang on to your faith. Lots of hugs and prayers, Nancy

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-14 15:05:17 -0500 Report

Thank you so very much. The pain is something that can not be expressed. You know, I've read in the bible about people speaking in tongues, making groaning sounds but God knows what their anquish is… if this is speaking in tongues, I've done this when I've prayed… because some times the words are just not there… but the anquish is and the pain is and my words came out as mumbles and just pure gurgling anquish… your words mean a lot to me.

Rev. Hixon

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-07-14 19:49:21 -0500 Report

Romans 8: " 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God."

Several more like that in the Old Testament.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-13 20:52:00 -0500 Report

I wish you all the strength and love God can give you for having to deal with all of this. I wish the world was filled with Donna's. If we had people like her we would not have as much of people hurting each other. It is so sad when it is your family you look to for comfort and protection and they are the ones who end up hurting you. I admit I am a supporter of the death penalty in some cases and I think molestation of a child by a family member is one of them. I know we are to forgive everyone but these are God's children and their innocense can never be restored. I would hate to be them standing before the judgement seat.

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-14 15:06:52 -0500 Report

Unfortunately the world is not filled with Donna's but thank God for those who are a nice, sweet and genuinely kind as she is… she has been a great support to me.

She told me once… "Don't worry… we will raise these kids together." I can count on her for a lot when it comes to my grandchildren.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 14:48:50 -0500 Report

I read though this again MM and it just really touches the core of my being.

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-14 15:16:35 -0500 Report

Jim..
It is devestating to love someone very much the way I did my husband and realize that he could do something so awful. When I told him I was going to press charges on him… he said, "No you won't, you love me too much!" I said, "Love, has nothing to do with it." I love my daughter very very very very much, but I've had to take her children away from her and I've had to call the police on her before. I know those are two different kinds of love however, what must be done must be done.

I learned through this experience with my granddaughter's molestation that I found courage that I never even realized or knew I had. I faced him in the courtroom and when I looked at him for the last time… I felt pity because I knew that he wasn't sorry for what he had done… he was sorry he got caught.

When the judge asked him if he had anyone in the courtroom that he wished to apologize to or any family he would like to address, he said "NO. I don't have anyone here that is family!" i stood up and said, "I'm his wife and he can start by apologizing to me." They asked me to leave the courtroom, which I galdly did.

The detective later emailed me with the court results of 30 years. I was ecstatic to know that he will be behind bars for quite some time.

No matter how you feel about someone, children are important. They are innocent and they don't know that what is happening is wrong. In this case, tihis was her grandfather and she trusted him. He was a person that she looked to for support, guideance and stability. Unfortunately he proved to let her down on all of these aspects.

No, I had no problem putting himi in jail.

I appreciate your concern and your words.

Thank you.

Rev. Hixon

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 12:07:08 -0500 Report

My feelings are those filled with tears and those of smiles. I, and I am sure the rest of DC, wish you, your daughter, & granddaughter continued healing, as well as your former husband. He has to be a sick man to do that to kids.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-13 10:10:58 -0500 Report

I can honestly say that I know how you feel. I was sexually abused for many years in my life. It started when I was 5 yrs. old, I had many abusers. It started when one of my older brothers friends molested me. Then many times after that by different men that I encountered. I didn't tell anyone, I was too embarrased. I buried it deep down & there were several years of my life that I couldn't remember. The only friend I had was God. When I was much older I started remembering bits and pieces of things that happened to me. Again God is helping me. I am still dealing with the memories of years of abuse but my faith in God has given me the ability to forgive. Because of everything I went through I was very protective with my kids. I never would let them spend the night with friends and I watched my little girls like a hawk. Only recently have I been able to tell my Mom & siblings about the abuse I suffered at the hands of different family friends, aquaintences & relatives. God was Kind to me through it all, he was my only hope!

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-13 21:16:56 -0500 Report

I admire you for being able to forgive. I am still working on that one. My ex felt like that because I was raped as a teen, I owed him other women. He traded me to other men so he could be with their wives and girlfriends. If I protested I was even more severely abused. When he traded me to his brother in law 9 months into our marriage and the bro in law didn't get my ex the other woman like he said, I was the one that was beaten until I lost part of my hearing in my right ear and was threatened that I was going to be cut up with a butcher knife. Then when I called my mom and told her I was coming home because I didn't want to be married to him any longer, he and his parents locked my car in their garage and held me hostage for over a week. I was sleep depribed or drugged so I would not be able to stay awake, I was not given food either. Then my mother in law burned my photos from high school days (my ex had collected them from my things and brought them over) and all of my friends wihile I watched and told me I would do what my husband wanted. I was not released until I gave in. My husband took photos and videos and used those to hold me captive threatening to release them or show my kids if I didn't comply with his desires.

I wish my mom would not have listened to him when he called and told her we were working things out. If she would have driven to where I lived she would have seen that I was a prisoner. After that I just gave up. My soul was dying bit by bit from what he made me do. I felt like I was raped over and over again. He even told me I was his possession to do with what he pleased.

Do watch over your kids well because at the point where I ran away, he had his eye on the neighborhood teens, but of course he showed all the neighbors the photos of me so they think I was the bad person. I told one of my old neighbors about his being a preditor and they just laughed at me. I told them that I was leaving him in their hands and when he did hurt someone, it would be on their heads and not mine. I had protected the children for over 32 years and I was tired of being hit and threatened with knives. No one wanted to listen to what I had to say except my children who fortunately were not molested but often heard his inappropriate comments about the teens in the neighborhood along with some of the abuse he inflicted on me. My son has said that his daughters will never be around their grandfather because he is afraid he will molest them.

I feel sometimes like I can forgive everyone else that was involved in this whole thing, but I can't forgive myself for allowing the abuse to happen. I should have found a way to run away at that 9 month period. I have turned to God for help and I do feel His love. I don't know if I will ever be able to trust another man in my entire life. If I ever do, I am doing a background check before the second date.

LadyKDC
LadyKDC 2011-07-14 11:31:09 -0500 Report

All I can say is you are in my prayers and if I had a way to hug you, I would. May God continue to bless you! Your story is my blessing. Nothing has happened to me, however it is a story I can share with my 2 girls.

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-07-14 10:54:51 -0500 Report

Right now my emotions are in over-drive. You are a special person because you can forgive. I know the Lord has a special work for you to do. I love the Lord but don't know if I could be that forgiving if it happened to me. I praise God for the wonderful man I married almost 52 years ago. God is good.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 23:45:07 -0500 Report

Congratulations on 52 years with a good man. I know there are some of those out there. I have 3 wonderful brothers and a great son. My oldest brother & his wife just celebrated their 50th the first of the month. I am the first person in my family line to get a divorce. My family did not believe in divorce. We believed in trust, love and caring.

Dixiemom
Dixiemom 2011-07-15 09:43:19 -0500 Report

It must be hard for you at times. We have several divorces in our familly. As long as they accept you as you are then it's good and I'm hoping that is the case. May God surround you with His love and protection.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-13 23:21:16 -0500 Report

Putting myself in your place I would feel exactly the same way you feel. It would take a miracle for me to forgive someone that put me through the abuse that you endured. God is in the miracle business though so I'm sure miracles do still happen. They may take awhile though! I think that's how my Mom felt. My step-father did horrible things to my mother. I saw many of those things & fought him many times to protect her. I saw him cut through a sheep skin coat once and stab her in the back & then he ripped the knife down through her back. She started gushing blood and I layed on her and held her back together so she wouldn't bleed to death. He finally got scared & was afraid she was going to die so he held her back while I ran for help. They arrested him but my Mom wouldn't press charges so they had to let him go. Laws have changed since then. My mom made a full recovery but it was close. If the knife would have gone into her back 1/8th" more she would have died. Ironically it was my step-fathers ex-wife who called the ambulance for my Mom. That is only one incident of many years of abuse. I forgave him right before he died & he apoligized for everything on his dying bed. That didn't take away the scar's in our lives though.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 23:50:01 -0500 Report

At least I never had any deep wounds like your mom. I am glad that your mom lived. I have came to realize that forgiving does not necessarily mean we have to open ourselves back up to the abuser. We make peace within ourselves and with God and then move on with our life not holding onto the wrong done to us in the past to make us bitter. We just never look back only forward.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-07-13 22:54:57 -0500 Report

WOW Glenda, your account of what you went through saddens, sickens and troubles me. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could reach out across these miles and give you a friendly hug and give you a shoulder to cry on should you wish it. (after, of course you did the background check, — I understand!)

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 20:02:01 -0500 Report

Thanks. Some people just don't know their boundries, I am glad you do. I have a restraining order against my ex and the police told me to carry wasp spray instead of mace when I could. They said that if he comes around me to spray him in the eyes and mouth, then tell him he has 15 minutes to get to a hospital before he dies. Then I am to get to a safe place and call them. He will have to go to the hospital for a antidote and then they will arrest him for violation of the order.

I had one of the single guys in my church sit by me and put his arm around me everytime we sang a hymn one Sunday (we were sharing a book). He never asked me if I was OK with it and I almost tested the wasp spray on him before the meeting was over because it made me feel so uncomfortable. I was having a mini panic attack right there. The next Sunday I asked a group of older ladies to surround me so no single guys could sit by me again. They have done that ever since.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-07-14 20:21:38 -0500 Report

My ex used a restraining order against me even though I hadn't threatened her or hurt her in any way. She used it to keep me away from important events for my sons (HS graduation for #2 son, graduation from Navy Boot camp with my #1 son & school functions with my #3 son) But I kept my nose clean in that regard. It seemed the longest year of my life.

I have always been brought up to be respectful of ladies. In fact, I was so respectful that my first girlfriend thought I didn't like her (though I kept asking her out on dates) because I hadn't tried to kiss her yet. (corrected that in a hurry when I found out what was bothering her).

I do try to be respectful at all times.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 21:16:31 -0500 Report

I guess you should have been like my ex. He was asked by my daughter not to come to her wedding through a legal document to his attorney. She made me promise that I would not call the police if he did show up because she didn't want a scene. He came anyway, threatened to make a scene if she didn't do the dad dance with him, she didn't get to tell anyone including her new husband about the threat until it was too late. She danced with him and the sicko pushed up into her sexually until he had her in tears. She will not even talk to him now. He would have been better off to have obeyed her request.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-07-14 22:05:52 -0500 Report

Well I knew that if I showed up at those events I would be setting myself up to be arrested and jailed, and then she would have grounds to have a permenant restraining order against me.

I knew there would be other events, like my sons' weddings (one last year, October and one this year in Oct.) and I didn't want to give her that kind of club to use against me.

In the wedding celebration last Oct. we actually had quite a pleasant chat during the rehersal dinner, so she has come quite a long way in the 8 years we've been divorced. Actually my "date" for that event found her bawling in a friend's arms because, according to Suz she said "I never thought I'd see him alive again." Sometimes I wonder if she felt she jumped too quickly into another marriage. But she was frantic to get rid of me and get her new hubby into her life.

I feel I have to get along with her because of our children together. There will come a time when there will be babies and baptisms and birthdays and it will be so much better for EVERYONE if granma & granpa at least are speaking to one another in a civil manner.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 23:59:36 -0500 Report

I am glad you were able to attend the wedding. When I left I told my kids (both adults) that they could have whatever type of relationship they wanted with their dad. At first my daughter was determined to remain neutral and actually leaned toward feeling sorry for her dad. My son told him that he would speak to him as long as he was fair to me in the divorce. They had things at the house I left and he refused to give them their things too. At this point, he ruined it with our daughter at her wedding, and ruined it with my son when we showed up for the second time to get my personal property and he still would not give it to me. I had left most of my clothing in July and it was October before he even gave me a coat. He never did give me one of the 4 beds we had in the house and since I have a back injury, I finally had to go and buy one. Even after the mediation he is still playing games. He said if I can tell him where my personal property is he will give it to me. I know where it was but who knows where it is.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 12:13:00 -0500 Report

So sorry to hear that TR. There are few things that can bring anger to my Spirit like child abuse or molestation. If I encountered it, I am not sure I could or would restain myself. Coming to our camp, and I can't say who or when, will be a group of children whose parents have had all of their parental rights terminated forever by the court. A church sponsers the group and security is tight. Why? They are afraid. by some outside chance, that a parent will find out where their child is and try to abduct them. So sad.

dietcherry
dietcherry 2011-07-13 09:20:34 -0500 Report

Thank you, thank you, thank you for following through and getting him locked up where he belongs and unable to hurt any more children. Much too often, this is a crime that goes unpunished :)

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-13 14:28:39 -0500 Report

I learned that one in every 2 little girls in the United States gets molested every 20 minutes and 1 in 4 boys every 30 minutes. Most cases go unreported and often times with boys, the parent doesn't want the boy exposed because of sexual preference issues or they think the child will feel homosexual especially if it is male to male contact.

Female molestation goes unprosecuted because it is usually a spouse and the woman is depending on the man (usually the father) for income. Sometimes it is an older brother that does the molestation and the parents do not want it exposed.

I on the other hand am not opposed to putting someone behind bars if they choose to molest a child. I too was flat broke, but my granddaughter was way more important to me than his paycheck and I've managed to eat since… so of course the right thing is to put a child molestor behind bars.

When I confronted my husband he told me what I saw was not what I saw. When I reported it I told the officer I was 100% sure of what I saw. My granddaughter was 5 at the time and I spoke to her while sitting at the table and she assured me and confirmed to me what I saw was true. During the course of the investigation I found out a lot of information that simply made me sick to my stomach… I praised her for being a brave little girl and telling me what had happened to her.

For many months, she would sit and talk to me and let me know things that she wouldn't even discuss with the couselor…

Like I said, she is doing much better, but I continue with her therapy becasue I feel it is beneficial and would prove detrimental if not.

Thank you all for your comments.

Rev. Hixon

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 12:13:49 -0500 Report

I hope his sentences are consecutive and not con-current.

MarkieMarkie
MarkieMarkie 2011-07-13 14:39:51 -0500 Report

con-current and is eligiable for parole in year 2025. He was 45 when he went in so he would be 59 years old. He would still have time and energy at this age to molest other children… the parole board will contact the victems and seek their assistance regarding parole. Both children do not wish him to be free… and it is my understanding their opinions will be considered. My granddaughter will be 21 years old by then and with her current straight A average I'm certain she will articulate her opinion in great detail because she already does at this point.

His biggest downfall was to underestimate her becasue she was only 5 at the time. But she had sense enough to let her Nunah know… I've always told her… "Tell me if anyone does anything to you that you do not feel comfortable with, especially in your private areas… this does not only include physical contact but verbal as well." She understands what the words physcial and verbal mean. She is very intelligent and I think this is why she did so well with testimony, which made her case against him very strong.

No matter what the sentence is… it never seems enough in situations like this. Often times these molestors get off with probation so I was thankful that God allowed us the closure of knowing "for now" he is behind bars.

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-07-13 20:26:48 -0500 Report

I taught my children from the time they could understand about not letting people touch them in their private areas. When they were babies I was extremely protective with them. That is part of the reason I stayed home with them & didn't work. Whenever I changed my babies diapers I always took them to a private place to change them. I always put shorts on my girls when they wore dresses. I watched my kids like a hawk because of what I had been through I didn't want them out of my sight. When my kids were old enough to stay the night with friends I wouldn't let them & they would get mad at me but now they are the same way with their kids.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-13 14:55:19 -0500 Report

Sorry to hear that he will ever be eligible for parole. This is a bit blunt, but if he gets it, I wish castration was one of the conditions. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that and NO ONE should have to fear him when he is set free. If his parole gets denied your grand daughter will earn another A. Give her a hug from a Pop-Pop that would not hurt her.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-13 21:20:45 -0500 Report

Unfortunately, castration does not stop them from molesting in other ways. Thus my belief in capital punishment for child molestation.

tobar78
tobar78 2011-07-14 10:44:26 -0500 Report

Tie them to a stump and cover them with honey! But I guess that's not very kind in a forum when we are supposed to be talking about kindness!

cavie2
cavie2 2011-07-14 10:06:49 -0500 Report

Having worked for 10 years with Womens Aid (Abused/Battered women and children) from 1980-1990 I know this only too well when objects, broken bottles and red hot pokers were some of the toys these sadists used. I believe they should be put in a room no more than 6*6 with a bunch of mothers, the door closed and leave them to deal with it.

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-07-14 20:07:38 -0500 Report

You must have heard a lot of horror stories and saw many physically and emotionally battered women. Sounds like you took good care of them. I find this site refreshing because everyone who has been communicating really seems to be good, caring people. Maybe that is why we get diabetes, we are just too sweet.

cavie2
cavie2 2011-07-13 09:17:53 -0500 Report

Wow that is some story MarkieMarkie you and your granddaughter have both been through the mill physically and emotionally and I hope you can both heal as much as anyone can after an experience like that. We all have our troubles and think they are bad (and they are to us) but there is always somebody else who is having it worse, in this respect we all need to stop looking at the cover and read the whole book to get a true picture of other people and with God's help we can try harder to be more tolerant of other people's situations. Your story has touched me so much and you have received some closure in that he was caught and incarcerated for a long time. You both need to concentrate on healing each other and with the support of your "Angel on Earth" (Donna) I am sure you will succeed. I send out prayers for you both and Donna. God bless. lol