I have a question? These Holiday weekends are emotionally hard for me because of my health I am home bound and it seems like everyone you know has plans and has left town or having get togethers I feel like I am the only one going through this ? If you ca

By shellyr Latest Reply 2011-07-04 17:49:17 -0500
Started 2011-07-03 00:05:13 -0500

Feel sad and depressed having no plans for the weekend also in alot of pain and I cannot get comfortable!

17 replies

jayabee52 2011-07-04 16:10:22 -0500 Report

Me too, I am not doing anything special today.

I took a friend to the hospital to get his wound checked from when he had his toe amputated due to diabetic gangrene, but other than that I haven't been out no have plans to go out in all this Las Vegas heat and traffic and the drunks on the road. The only gambling I do in Las Vegas is drive on the streets and freeways here. That's chancey enough for me. LoL!

But I am getting ready for a flight to my boyhood home in Ohio to visit my mom and also go to a family reunion, and then inter my wife in the family plot where I'll rest beside her when my time comes.

Otherwise I will be here on DC off and on throughout the day and evening.

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-07-04 15:22:23 -0500 Report

Hello Shelly, If I had somewhere to go or something to do, I wouldn't be here! I like the 4th, but for about the last 20 years or so, I have been "work bound". Always required to work the 4th. Now that I am older, I could get off, but I let the younger guys take off so they can take their kids to fireworks and the like.
The real hard part, and something I have had to deal with most of my 57 years, is the depression, especially around the holidays. Probably about 5% of the US population celebrate all out. A good bit get together with families for a picnic. But we perceive that EVERYBODY is at a 4th of July party, except for us. The physical pain is something else. Yes, medicine can help tame it sometimes, but there are times that I think my depression either blocks the pain medicine, or contributes to or causes some pain. When I am mentally up, I can stand more pain and function better. Anyway, I wish you the best. It is tough when you are fighting the battle on multiple fronts. Jim

Gemm 2011-07-04 12:21:39 -0500 Report

We don't usually do anything either. None of my family lives anywhere near us, not that they would do anything anyway, and his family, if they do anything at all for most holidays do it with their own children all of whom are grown now. We may invite a friend or 2 over and do a bit of easy grilling - burgers & dogs type but other than that we don't have plans either. Any fireworks are close enough to us that we can watch them from our front porch & yard - weather permitting them.

I know that pain too as my severe arthritis doesn't like the storms that are heading our way. I always hurt worse in stormy weather - any time the barometric pressure is in rapid flux actually, though extreme highs or lows are the worst. This set of storms is also doing a number with my migraine which are also a lot more severe in stormy weather. A neurologist I saw some years back for them said that some people do have a reaction to storms with their migraines, similar to what I have with my arthritis, so I'm getting a double whammy today.

To my though, it isn't worth the extra effort to get depressed over it all. And it is effort to be and stay depressed when there is so much good that can be done to get out of it and keep me out of it. A good movie that I love, connecting to friends on-line, work on a hobby (yes even when I'm in pain) as these and many other things help get my mind off the negative and on to something more positive. For me, it's all a matter of whether I choose to stay in the negative or work myself out of it into something more positive. At times it is difficult to do, but worth the effort and the more I've practiced it the easier it is to get myself out of a depression. There are still some occasions when I may need a bit of a boost to get me started back out of it, but all I have to do is reach out and I can find it.


tabby9146 2011-07-04 12:07:52 -0500 Report

really sorry. I hope you have family and friends that visit sometimes. I have no plans today, my mother in law is woriking, so we won't be going over there as we normaly do when she is off, and my husband is working today, which sucks.My side doesn't get together anymore hardly, my mother is coming with us to see fireworks tonight, she is wheel chair bound and 83, and my brother doesn't come here often enough, and doesn't seem to care if she gets out or not, but I always make sure she does. But there have been holidays, like the 4th and labor day, when others in family are working and my yongest and I are home alone so I know how you feel. You can talk to all the wonderful people here on DC.

JoleneAL 2011-07-04 07:15:02 -0500 Report

My hubby and I don't go anywhere … and we don't have people over. We'd rather be safe and stay off the roads where all the drunks are and just celebrate at home. Please, stop looking at being home alone as a curse. Find something on TV to watch, read a book, nap (naps are good, free and ecologically sound) and remember there are people today who are worse off than you.

digitaldoorbell 2011-07-03 21:05:25 -0500 Report

I'm really sorry that you feel that way. You can see from the responses here, you're truly not "alone." You have to take little steps, be kind to yourself and lose yourself in little interests (unless you're fortunate to have a hobby that you can still do). I can't do a lot of things that I liked to do pre-diagnoses.

There's online company here. Perhaps it helps to know that you're not alone.

lmkilday 2011-07-03 17:28:13 -0500 Report

Next holiday why not post a message for anyone in DC and living in your citiy to get together for a picnic? There nothing saying we only have to get together online.

SheliaDell 2011-07-04 10:01:35 -0500 Report

Oh, I love this idea! We should all do this! Actually, this is a great idea to do a couple times a year "just because"…

Harlen 2011-07-03 14:39:48 -0500 Report

I know how your feeling I have ben there
Where you at ?
If in 200 mile I will come get you If you wish

MrsCDogg 2011-07-03 13:35:59 -0500 Report

Hi Shelly. Like Jayabee I was a CNA for MANY years. Just about 25 to be exact. I'm pretty sure that it had a hand in causing most of my problems right now. I'm sending you lots of love and positive energy. Please keep coming back to the DC. For me it's helpful to know that I am not alone in the things that I have to deal with every day. That others have crappy days too, that they have days when all they want to do is cry. So, I'm not gonna tell you to cheer up or any such tripe as that. Just know that we are all here and that we really do care about you.

SheliaDell 2011-07-03 11:29:06 -0500 Report

Oh, I'm so sorry you are in so much pain! It's so hard to constantly be in pain and to always be stuck, not being able to do anything. I understand because I've been there. You didn't say what you are able to do, so I don't know how much you can manage on your own. I can just tell you that the way I got through my holidays alone and in pain was to throw myself a "party". Make sure you have foods that you like to eat in the house…you didn't say who buys groceries for you, but have them get something for you that you like - and is diabetic-friendly, of course. Then treat yourself to a day just for you…watch your favorite movies, read all day if you like to read, do crafts…whatever you love to do; no housework or chores of any kind allowed! I found that if I stayed busy, the pain didn't seem to be as bad. Or have yourself a "spa" day if you're able…have a long bubble bath, give yourself a facial, do a mani-pedi…experiment with a new hairdo and/or makeup. My best friend's mother used to say no matter how bad you feel, getting up and getting dressed makes you feel better, and you know what? It's really true! I did find that if I got dressed and put on makeup, even just mascara and a little lipstick, it helped! The other thing is that I agree with James…contact your church if you have one, or any local church if you don't, and make them aware of your need for visitors. If it's difficult for you to do it yourself, ask a friend or a relative to do it for you. I know it's a bit late to do that for the 4th of July, but know that you are in my prayers. If the love and support of the people on this forum help you at all, know that you have that! I love you, Shelly!

parrysark 2011-07-03 10:05:05 -0500 Report

I too am in pain emotionally and depressed. I have no plans either but Gods in control and i must be where i am suppose to be. But it stinks however it will get different. I ll be praying for you

SuziOJ 2011-07-03 01:29:04 -0500 Report

Hang in there kid! I endure horrible pain as well and know how draining it can be both physically and emotionally. Just try it one day at at a time. Believe me you are not the only one who feels this way. I've got family coming over but I almost dread that because of my pain.

jayabee52 2011-07-03 00:38:25 -0500 Report

Howdy Shelly
So very sorry about your pain and discomfort.

I used to be a Certified Nurse aide in home health care and I can attest that you are not alone in your situation. There are many others. I have served them over many holidays. I am unfortunately now physically disabled from doing that work any longer

I am sorry you are going through this. If I knew your situation, where you are, and how to get to you, I would love to pay you a visit. The best I can do would be to have you accept my friend request (already sent) and visit on the DC email. Send me an email once you have accepted my friend request.

May further I suggest calling a local church which would be compatible with your spiritual beliefs and practices, and ask the pastor there for a visit? A visitor may take your mind off the pain for a bit. The pastor might set up one or more visitors for you. They could be emotional and other support for you.

I pray you get relief from your pain and discomfort soon.


Deaconess Jane
Deaconess Jane 2011-07-04 17:49:17 -0500 Report

Shelly, so sorry you're having a hard time. Holidays can be hard when you have no one to share them with. I battle depression as well. For me, the thing that helps is to put on a praise cd or some upbeat music. We've spent a quiet holiday. No family nearby. Hubs and two sons and I went to see the newest X-men movie. It was fun. No plans to go to fireworks as it's just to hot and muggy. I'm fairly new to DC but have found the folks here to be very supportive and friendly. So, use us to help you feel less alone.

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