Type 1 Diabetic and depressed.

Poppop1961
By Poppop1961 Latest Reply 2011-09-16 20:40:46 -0500
Started 2011-06-30 15:21:59 -0500

I have type 1 Diabetes, Heart problems and depressed. I started geting depressed in mid Jan. after my Endo told me I can no longer work do to having neuropathy in both legs and no feeling in my left foot. The end of April I wanted to overdose on my pain meds. Now I want to do it again and don't know how to tell my wife. What should I do…


27 replies

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-09-16 20:39:53 -0500 Report

Hi everyone, sorry I have not been on lately. We have found a new home and getting ready to move. I was doing good till last week and now sick again. Last week it was my heart and now my levels again. I miss you all.

tanya101
tanya101 2011-07-03 18:09:54 -0500 Report

remember they love for what you are to them not what youdo for them. Think how they would feel what they would go through not having you around to talk to or just to have you close

AuntieM234
AuntieM234 2011-07-02 10:23:15 -0500 Report

My dear Poppop1961: God Bless You!! I'm so pleased that you've taken the first steps to getting help! Be sure you do as your Dr instructed, though. Between now and your appointment on Tuesday, if you get strong urgings again, DO go to the ER and check yourself in. Here in CA, its called a 5150 hold, if I recall correctly. That's when someone is deemed to be a danger to him/herself or others. It serves to place the person on a 72 hour hold, while they are being assessed.

If you are given an anti-depressant, be aware: It usually takes about two weeks for the anti-depressants to build up enough in your system to become beneficial to you. So don't give up on it too quickly!

Does the 1961 in your screen name stand for your birth year? If so, you are almost the same age as my oldest of two daughters. She was born 01/01/1962, so she will be 50 next January. She was always a vibrant, driven, intelligent, and successful person. That all ended for her less than a week after Mother's Day 2005, when her 27 y/o Son was found hanging in his apartment; dead from an apparent suicide!

Although she continues to function in this world, she's neither vibrant nor driven. She is the shell of the person she used to be. My grandson was bipolar, so he had many issues to work through. We watched him closely; from the time he was 4 y/o he was treated by doctors. in his early 20's, more than once he came to me and said, "Grandma, will you take me to the hospital? I need to go in on a 5150." We thought he was doing well! We had an absolutely great Mother's Day Weekend! The following Thursday was when he died. I won't mention what it has done to me. I'll leave that for now.

Any time you feel the urges pulling at you, please always think long and hard about those who love you. ALWAYS reach out for help as you've done here! Mara

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-03 17:27:51 -0500 Report

Thank you Mara. Yes, I was born 05/13/1961. I Know how you and your Daughter fell. I became a Father at the age of 15. His mother passed away when I was 20. I signed papers for my son to live with her mother and and father. 2 years later my son fell out of his grandfathers boat. We never found his body. He would be going on 35 next month. That day also gets me down. Now today we just found out that my mother inlaw's cancer came back and it's in her neck. That just put more on my plate to deal with. Here in Pa thay call it a 302. I am thinking about putting my self back in tonight. I need the help and don't think I can wait till Tuesday. If i go in, I will get back to all of you. Keith..

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-07-01 15:56:06 -0500 Report

Hi,

I am concerned about you. Here is a link to a discussion that I posted awhile back:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/discussions/9451-still-not-feeling-it-maybe-it-s-time-to-ask-for-help

You are dealing with a lot, and it is not surprising that these challenges would affect you emotionally. But if you are feeling depressed it is really important to reach out for help. Don't wait any longer. And don't go through this alone.

And stay in touch with your friends on Diabetic Connect. We are here for you!

Gary

Graylin Bee
Graylin Bee 2011-07-01 08:22:43 -0500 Report

Depression is a hard thing to overcome. It made me feel as you do several years ago. Then about 4 years ago it hit my husband when his incomplete spinal cord injury ended his career and ability to do many things he used to enjoy. He expressed how he wanted to end his life and how he planed to do it to me. I had him on suicide watch several times. Working together as a couple we found things he can still do. There are many things in life that are worth being here for. Family is often the most important, children, grandchildren, siblings, parents. I saw how hard it was on my mother last year when I almost died due to MRSA. It would have been so much harder on her years ago when the blackness of depression almost overwhelmed me if I had chosen to end my life.
Please try to find a lifeline to cling to. Perhaps your Dr could prescribe an anti depressant.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-06-30 16:37:26 -0500 Report

Depression is a real monster Keith. I suffered with it off and on throughout my life, and had suicide ideation (thoughts of committing suicide) off and on for a good part of my 59 years. It took a lot of the joy of life away from me.

I agree with caliko. I don't believe it is right to take our own life. I struggled with suicide ideation up until I had End Stage Renal Disease and needed dialysis. I considered not going back to dialysis and just letting my kidney disease kill me. I chose not to do that because I didn't want to set a bad example for my 3 sons WHEN troubles would strike their lives.

I believe I was blessed by making that decision, as I had previously believed that life was over for me, and there were to be no good days in my future. But a wonderful lady ("Jem") contacted me through Dating4Disabled and we began a relationship that was truly amazing to me. She helped me salve the hurts of my previous marriage. We married, and enjoyed life together for about 2 years, until she passed from this life in July 2010.

But from the time I decided to continue my treatment, to this day I have had no more suicide ideation, even during the time that my "Jem" passed away.

I pray that you can get your depression under control

James

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-09 00:17:40 -0500 Report

Hey James, I did go back for more help to control my suicidle thoughts. Thank you for sharing that with me. God Bless… Keith.

Duel
Duel 2011-06-30 16:31:48 -0500 Report

Popp­op, These days neuropathy has a lot of advances already. Like I mentioned to CaliKo a few days ago, there are clinics that can regrow damaged nerves and regain sensations. I'm not kidding. You just have to do your own research on this but yes, neuropathy has the possibility of cure though it may not be cheap.

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-03 18:02:36 -0500 Report

I have another problem with my legs. The Arteries in my legs are not constricking fast enough to force the blood back to the heart and causes my blood bp to drop and i have passed out twice from it. The 2 meds for that are $300 buck and my ins will not cover it and i don't have it to put out. I have trouble paying my rent and utills as it is. I am still fighting to get s.s.d. I don't know if i'm coming or going anymore. Keith…

Duel
Duel 2011-07-04 03:36:30 -0500 Report

I feel ya Keith. You might want to find out if there are alternative generic versions of those meds, may be a little cheaper but at least cheaper. All I can say to you Keith is don't lose hope as there are treatments and possibly cure for your conditions this day and age. However the means to acquire them maybe an issue, pray to God and you will never know some kind of miracle can happen. That is the best I can tell you my friend.

CaliKo
CaliKo 2011-06-30 15:59:07 -0500 Report

I don't believe it's right for us to choose when we leave this life. Each day is a gift, and it's up to us to appreciate life. It's not always easy, but there will be better times. Depression is hard but there are tools to help you cope. Can you talk to your doctor and tell him or her you need help?

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-01 10:56:05 -0500 Report

Thank you my friends for your replies. I am going to contact my Psyc Dr and get in right away. I may need to put myself back in the Hospital for 72 hrs. I might need that to kick start my getting better. And they can get me on the right meds. I also have other problems with my legs aswell as the neuropathy. Ok while typing this I called my Psyc Dr. He wants to see me this coming Tuesday moring. The office is closed right now but he said if I need help sooner to go to the E.R. and let them put me back on the unit floor and he will see me there on Monday. Again thank you all and God Bless.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-07-03 11:47:03 -0500 Report

HI!

This is FANTASTIC news. I am so glad that you reached out for help. I know this feels overwhelming but depression is treatable. Please keep us posted!

Gary

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-03 18:06:45 -0500 Report

I think I need to put myself back into the Hospital. I find it very hard to open up to my wife about how I feel. I have been taking care of her for the past 15 yrs with her depression and bypolar problems that I'm afrade will make her problems worse.

AuntieM234
AuntieM234 2011-07-03 18:24:48 -0500 Report

You must focus only on getting help for yourself now; otherwise, you won't be able to deal with your own issues, never mind trying to help someone else. You must be your first priority. Keep in touch! I feel you are a kindred spirit! ;-) Mara

CaliKo
CaliKo 2011-07-01 11:15:49 -0500 Report

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God be with you.

Poppop1961
Poppop1961 2011-07-03 18:35:42 -0500 Report

I went to my family farm for 2 weeks to try and clear my head and reflect on everything. I still mave a hard time dealing with everything. I'm in the red with the bank and my rent check is going to over draft me again. I also don't have the money to pay my utils that are late and going to be turned off on the 6th or 7th of this month. again i just want to take all my meds and not wake up. I need to get my wife to take me back to the E.R. tonight. Before i act on killing myself. I will get back to you when I get out.

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