Kim Gregory
By Kim Gregory Latest Reply 2011-06-21 22:51:27 -0500
Started 2011-06-19 23:02:07 -0500

I am tired now. I am tired of watching what I eat. Tired of carb counting. Tired of testing my blood sugar. Tired of test strips and medication. I am tired of diabetes period. For the past 2 weeks I have not been eating very well, but I have been exercising Monday thru Friday. I am just tired and I don't want to deal with diabetes anymore. I want my life back. I am not ready for this. It has been 7 months since I was diagnosed and I just can't seem to accept this and I don't want to.

15 replies

jagwolf 2011-06-21 20:22:34 -0500 Report

I understand how you feel. I was diagnosed June 6th, my greatest fear came true. My mom had diabetes and she didn't really take care of it. She only had it for 12 years and now she is gone. I watched her go through it. I vowed not to let that happen to me. I completely change my lifestyle. I was a pasta and pizza eater. It is very hard but I'm not going to let this beat me. Think positive! You don't want to go down the road my mom did (in and out of the hospital all the time). Don't do that to yourself and your family. I count carbs and look for creative ways to eat. Look into something called Miracle Noodles. They are a pasta substitute. Cauliflower can be rice and mashed potatoes substitute. Even though better foods cost a little more it is worth having a better life. The internet is full of ideas. Since changing my way of eating and with exercise I lost about 12 pounds since June 6th. I feel a lot better and am starting to look better. If you quit now you aren't going to have a life to have back. You can do it! I'm rooting for you!

63Gina 2011-06-21 17:57:23 -0500 Report

Please don't give up - we all at some point feel your pain. Look at this as NEW LIFE - I'M SENDING YOU MANY HUGS

MarkieMarkie 2011-06-20 15:45:52 -0500 Report

There is an option to being tired and it is not very rewarding. I would rather have to do what I have to do so I can continue to live and share with those people I love. Sounds like you may be a bit depressed too. Have you spoke with your doctor about how you are feeling? Hope all goes well for you. Keep at it… we want you here.

sewinggranny 2011-06-20 15:39:57 -0500 Report

I also am tired and my biggest problem is hunger!! I have been doing better for the last few days but a few minutes ago I ate two burritos and did not take my insulin and I know better!! I go to the doctor Thursday and I know my A1C is going to be 10 or higher because I have not been eating like I should. However since I found this site the other day I am trying really hard so I am not going to let one setback get me off track. I will take my insulin when I eat supper and when I go to bed. I think most of us go thorough the denial period and then most of us settle down and get to work trying to control this diabetes. Wishing you the best I know its hard I struggle every day with it. Been doing it now for 3 years.

Brian1760 2011-06-20 13:26:46 -0500 Report

I've been like that for 9 years and totally know how you feel. I am angry about this disease because I didn't do anything to get it. In fact, it could have been prevented. I had malformed pancreatic ducts that lead to 7 cases of pancreatits. The 2nd to the last one did me in and the first ERCP the Dr didn't feel qualified to fix it. It's been fixed now, but too late. :(

Teresa Rose
Teresa Rose 2011-06-20 13:25:12 -0500 Report

I'm tired too but what can you do but what you need to do? I figure if it wasn't diabetes it would be something else because afterall, life won't be perfect, there will always be something to deal with one way or another!!! - Bless you - Teresa Rose

MewElla 2011-06-20 13:23:02 -0500 Report

I so totally "get" what you are saying about you are tired…Tired of everything we all have to do to fight this disease. None of us ever wanted to get into this position but here we are, and it is up to each of us to do our best to take care of our life. I sure do not want complications from this disease in my life any more than you do, so, whether I get tired or not, I will do my best each day to fight the best way I know how. I will never give up. Good Luck to you…I have been fighting this for 16 months now and it never gives me the day off…

Harlen 2011-06-20 13:16:05 -0500 Report

Your not going to get your life back .
So what to do ???
I dont think any of us like this life but it is better then going blined .having a foot cut off ,Living with pain 24/7
No I think I will keep taking care of my D.
but its up to you ,if you wish to die a ;ong and painfull death then go for it .
I saw my mom die from not taking care of D and there is no way I will go out that way .
Best wishes

Jim Edwards
Jim Edwards 2011-06-20 11:32:30 -0500 Report

My daughter reminds me when I tell her I am tired of the fight that I need to either cut out now and walk away, or I need to stick with it. If I don't walk away now and try so later, I may not have my feet attached to walk away with. she gets her point across. she never was one to beat around the bush.
As the doctor tries to get my insulin right, I am testing 5 times a day, taking 2 pills, jabbing myself twice a day with insulin. Unlike you, I get exercise, but do not exercise much. You look trim, keeping your weight in line is important. You will hear, "you can eat anything you want, just eat it in moderation" Well, when I want a bowl of ice cream, I want a bowl of ice cream, not a half of a cup, once a week. My wife has been looking for a low carb ice cream that tastes good, but the search continues. I know, I need to continue down this path of watching what I eat, how much and when and all the other stuff. It is not a change in diet, it is a change in lifestyle. Not an easy road, but a necessary road. Walking this road is easier when your feet are still attached. wish you the best, Jim

Kim Gregory
Kim Gregory 2011-06-21 22:41:55 -0500 Report

Thanks Jim. I love ice cream. When I eat, which is not as often as I would like, I by sugar free Dryers Ice Cream. It comes in a variety of flavors and it tastes pretty good.

JoleneAL 2011-06-20 09:05:26 -0500 Report

(Super Hugs) We understand! And unfortunately, PWD have to think about it every waking moment. As you "get" in control, it will get easier - but it can be varying amounts of time for each person. The first year I lived in a state of frustration and anger until I decided "I" was in charge and went to my doctor and added insulin. It turned my life around - period. Yes, I still thought about it, but now I controlled it, it did not control me.

And don't believe this will be the first time you go through this. After years of good control, I decided I didn't want to play anymore. I had experienced the mourning stage, but not the grieving and denial stages. Last year I was in denial and other than taking my meds, I did no more. No testing, no working out, etc.

These emotions are normal. Feel them. Experience them. Understand them and soon you will wake up and it won't be so bad anymore.

(hugs again)

sloane 2011-06-20 05:47:58 -0500 Report

I understand your frustration; I have two boys with diabetes;one diagnosed at just 17 months old. Now they are doing great and shots and testing are woven into their lives—but doesn't take over their lives. You will get there too; some days you are just plain tired. WE can all help get you back in the game…

jayabee52 2011-06-20 04:29:51 -0500 Report

You are in good company Kim. I doubt there is a person on this site that doesn't get tired of the struggle with diabetes now and then. Most of us can relate to your feelings, because we've been there too, perhaps too often.

You now belong to a "club" that nobody really wanted to join, but here we are! You say "I want my life back". Unfortunately this is NOW your life! If you choose to ignore it and go into denial, you sooner or later will be in a world of HURT!

I willfully ignored my diabetes, and now I have neuropathy from it. My knees down to my toes burn like fire! My arms from my elbows down to the fingertips tingle. I also have trouble with my bladder and my bowels and I must wear a diaper at age 59! My kidneys are shot too. I'm just about to have to go on dialysis. At least I'm pretty sure it is in my future.

So please Kim if you don't have complications now, take better care of yourself than I did. Then you can avoid or at least postpone the onset of the complications for many years to come.

Unfortunately, Kim THIS IS YOUR NEW NORMAL! I'm sure you didn't want to hear that, but the sooner you "get this reality" the better you'll be able to control your diabetes rather than it control you!

You haven't shared any information about what type of diabetes you have, or how you are trying to control it. If you have questions about what to do to get better control, just start a new discussion question. Many here will give their opinions and share what had worked for them.

Also I just sent you a friend request. Please accept it so we can talk by email should we wish.

Praying God's richest blessings upon you and yours!

James Baker

Kim Gregory
Kim Gregory 2011-06-21 22:51:27 -0500 Report

Thanks for sharing. I have type 2 and I take insulin pill form and I try to control it with diet and exercise.

Anonymous 2011-06-19 23:34:42 -0500 Report

I know how you feel, my son has type 1 diabetes! It can be tough at times, but you can do it! Don't give up! Try using the One Touch Delica, this will prevent any scars on your fingers. I know it works because we check our 4 year old son 7-15 times a day! And we have yet to see any problems with his fingers. Try getting on a pump, this will help you control your diabetes much better than a pen or injection. http://www.minimed.com/ This link will give you more information! Try speaking with this Endocrinologist, she is very good! Kola Endocrinology 559-840-2170. I wish you the best, please stay positive!