father's day

shorty31
By shorty31 Latest Reply 2011-06-26 12:04:36 -0500
Started 2011-06-19 17:50:46 -0500

happy father's day to all the father's here on dc hope you enjoyed your day with your family and friends.


32 replies

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-20 08:47:14 -0500 Report

My father was abusive growing up. The more he abused the more I rebelled. Like jayabee52 said, as I got older he seemed to mellow out. He apologized. I forgave him but will never forget. I love him because he's my dad. I only get to see hime once or twice a year because I live about 5 hours away from all my family. I enjoy them when they visit and can miss them when they are gone.

shorty31
shorty31 2011-06-22 07:21:55 -0500 Report

at least you had a change of heart and forgave him so your reward is great and God is well please we have to forgive those who have hurt us my mom abuse us and my brother or sister will not forgive her life is to short to hold gruges.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-22 07:26:41 -0500 Report

That is true. My sister & I didn't speak for many years because of or different outlooks on the situation. Now we just accept we are gonna see things differently & moved on. I'm glad we did!

shorty31
shorty31 2011-06-25 14:45:14 -0500 Report

i am so happy you both did that is a good way to look at life now i forgave my mom but i don't think she has forgiven me but i still love her any way.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-26 09:36:41 -0500 Report

Well I hope at some point she does and even after all that's happened and the time that has gone by you can recreate some kind of relationship.

joni55
joni55 2011-06-20 10:36:45 -0500 Report

Mine never did apologize.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-20 11:04:23 -0500 Report

That's so sad. I'm sorry!

joni55
joni55 2011-06-20 19:53:54 -0500 Report

He denied it. Maybe he didn't remember doing anything wrong or thought it was justified, as he was schizophrenic.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-20 20:09:12 -0500 Report

Sounds like my mother without the schizophrenia diagnosis…she just turned her head while it happened. When I sat down and talked to her about it, I was about 21 she honestly said she didn't remember any of it. The time my dad tried to strangle and kill me, the time he made me eat cigarettes, when he beat me with a belt buckle til I bled & couldn't sit down…none of it…i still don't get it but she was abused before we were born by him and none of the family will acknowledge it now. Even my younger sister..we didn't talk for years because she is convinced I deserved it all. Part of the reason I am who I am is because food was my friend for every emotin I had. After the exercise of high school all that was left was the smoking, drugs, drinking and food. Then a bad relationship & a bad marriage. Through all that the food was always there for me to abuse.

joni55
joni55 2011-06-20 23:29:39 -0500 Report

My dad abused me and so did my mom. I had spoken to each of them separately on this and both were surprised to hear me say that about the other and never acknowledged they did anything. They just said they thought I had a happy childhood. I have been in therapy for over 21 years because of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and Anxiety. No, nothing happened, yeah, right. lol

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-21 07:11:31 -0500 Report

I know what you mean. Neither one of them really acknowledged it until I hsd a nervous breakdown & tried to kill myself. They raised me to just stuff it down & I had received abuse & abused myself I couldn't take it anymore. That is when we really reconciled and apologized. I was one of the lucky ones. I did get counselingand split with my first insane husband. Life hasn't been easy but I'm thankful I have a life.

joni55
joni55 2011-06-21 09:59:40 -0500 Report

If there's one thing my parents taught me well, it was to hate myself. I went through the same thing as you and wound up with many stays in psychiatric facilities as a result. They should be real proud of themselves.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-21 10:15:02 -0500 Report

Well despite everything I guess we have to be thankful we made it through alive & with about half our marbles!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing with me. I have shared before and been rejected for my strife because I'm damaged. Not that I would wish any of it on anyone, I'm glad I'm not alone…

joni55
joni55 2011-06-21 10:26:21 -0500 Report

Yes, we did make it. I also believe we can use our experiences to help others who are going through the same thing. I am in a support group on another site and find the people there to be very supportive of the progress I am making. I am here if you want to talk anytime.

jladytiger1979
jladytiger1979 2011-06-21 10:33:20 -0500 Report

Thank you & I feel the same way!! I love being able to help people through things I've struggled with. If I can touch a hurting soul while I'm on this Earth…

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-06-20 05:21:01 -0500 Report

My father died in Oct 1971 as a result of injuries sustained in a freak Gunshot accident. Dad and I didn't have a wonderful relationship while I was growing up. But once I graduated from HS it seemed he had mellowed toward me and we could work together.

I really wonder what would have happened had Dad not had that accident, or had the accident and survived. I think my life would have been radically different than the shape it subsequently took. I probably would have not gone on to college and grad school. I would probably have married a local girl and settled down to raise a family much earlier in my life.

As I was going through some tough times in my life, I wished that Dad could have been around so I could talk to him. It's funny. The older I get the smarter my dad became (even though he had been gone for years).

I enjoyed being with my #2 son and his bride this afternoon. It was good just talking with him, and helping to plan #1 son's bachelor party this October.

Thanks be to God the Father, for fathers!

James

50Jewels
50Jewels 2011-06-20 22:41:53 -0500 Report

My dad was struck and killed by lightening in 1973. He and I were best buddies so it was really hard for me especially since i saw it happen. 38 years later I still miss him greatly. It never gets easier even though I know he is in heaven.

I often wonder if my health would have been better if I had not had this tramatic event happen. I really have never felt 100% well since that time.

I know my life would have been different. When my spouse started abusing me, my dad would have rescued me and I would have been able to get away from the jerk long before now.

One thing about it, keep looking forward and don't forget how much you really love your dad and I am pretty sure he loved you just as much even if you two could really show it at the time.

shorty31
shorty31 2011-06-20 07:19:39 -0500 Report

i had that problem with my mom dad wasn't with us groing up but he was there when i needed him he's gone now and i still miss him

DJackwon
DJackwon 2011-06-19 22:27:07 -0500 Report

A father is so important, unfortunately I never met mine. He came home from Korea and six months later while my mom was pregnant with me, he passed away from a massive coronary at the age of 29. I look just like him, hair color, olive skin and brown eyes. But every fathers day I wish him a happy one up in heaven with my Mom and oldest brother. I like to think he knows that even though we never met face to face, I still love him and look forward to the day I can meet him and my brothetr who passed before I was born also.

To all the DC dads, Happy Father's Day!

- Debbie -

joni55
joni55 2011-06-19 19:11:26 -0500 Report

I posted a picture of my dad and I on my wedding day. I want to say Happy Father's Day Dad! He passed a few years back but I hope he knows I am thinking of him.

shorty31
shorty31 2011-06-20 07:22:00 -0500 Report

yes our dad's are looking in on us to make sure we are alright we are still daddy's little girl's

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