I'm just feeling blue. I didn't mind giving up sweets… I didn't mind giving up sodas. I didn't even mind giving up most of the chips and pastries and everything that tastes really delicious. I don't even mind giving up ice cream. But what really gets my goat is that fruit always seems to make my blood sugar spikey. So even when I think I'm doing great, the meter says No you're doing lousy. It seems like I'm just resigned to living on meat. All meat all the time. And if anyone tells me that as long as it's low fat meat it's okay, I'll shoot them. My stupid leg hurts because it's supposed to be stormy the next couple days. My stupid uti is still there because the new antibiotics haven't kicked in, so my back is hurting… and my fbs was 189 today where yesterday it was 156. I thought I was doing good. I am scared to eat anything because I know my sugar is just going to boyng. Even if I just eat yogourt. Even if I just have a piece of that low fat chicken saucage. It just sucks. I always have fruit with breakfast. It's just what I do. I really hope it's just the infection that is making my sugar all crazy because even juvinal diabetics get to have a sweet a day for the first little while… acording to the news… and I can't even have some fruit. I know when I first found out I had my totm… sorry guys. And my sugar was up up up. then when that was over it came down to somewhat normal levels. The way I feel right at this moment, I am tempted to just tell that doctor I've had enough. Just give me the metforman so I can eat something without my sugar going into orbit. i'm not even talking about something sweet or ice cream or anytbhing like that. I'm just talking about a normal meal. You know, a grilled chicken breast, some rice and a salad… for instance. Well… maybe a thy and not a breast. I like thies the best. I figure it has to be good if the doctor's words were, "if nothing else, so you don't feel so frustrated" My mother in law takes this medicine and she watches what she eats, but she's not all freaked out like I am at this point. She just eats normally. I don't think she does anything real special. She even has *gasp* two pieces of bread on a sandwich. When I go *Oh that's 40 carbs, I can't see the look she gives me but I'm sure it's like yeah… so… So I know I'm not perfect, but it ought to be paying off. I don't eat many sweets. I even gave up eating toast for breakfast. I love toast. I eat weird things for lunch. Like lunch meat, cheese and carrots or maybe some fruits. I'm constantly trying to keep track of carbs this and carbs that. Darrell is trying to keep track of carbs… Heck even my girls are trying to keep track of carbs. Cranky… very very cranky. The bright side, if there is truly a bright side is that usually when I hit a low like this, it means that soon things will get better. The infection will clear, the sugar will go down. I'll figure out that life without any bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, sweets or fruit is okay, I'll find out that I can eat as much meat and cheese as I want without my sugar going sky high. I will actually eat a meal that leaves me full and satisfied and doesn't make my sugar go out of control. I'll find out about new research that will eventually lead to a cure. I don't know. Anything. I even exercised yesterday and my sugar is higher. Disgusted. I am disgusted with the state of things. But hey one positive thing… And I know I've probably mentioned this before but now I can most reliably check my sugar. I meant to update the how a blind person checks blood sugar. forum but haven't done it yet. It is very very easy now for me to do that.
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