Feeling blue

By blindbluesmama Latest Reply 2011-05-11 15:57:46 -0500
Started 2011-05-10 07:32:53 -0500

I'm just feeling blue. I didn't mind giving up sweets… I didn't mind giving up sodas. I didn't even mind giving up most of the chips and pastries and everything that tastes really delicious. I don't even mind giving up ice cream. But what really gets my goat is that fruit always seems to make my blood sugar spikey. So even when I think I'm doing great, the meter says No you're doing lousy. It seems like I'm just resigned to living on meat. All meat all the time. And if anyone tells me that as long as it's low fat meat it's okay, I'll shoot them. My stupid leg hurts because it's supposed to be stormy the next couple days. My stupid uti is still there because the new antibiotics haven't kicked in, so my back is hurting… and my fbs was 189 today where yesterday it was 156. I thought I was doing good. I am scared to eat anything because I know my sugar is just going to boyng. Even if I just eat yogourt. Even if I just have a piece of that low fat chicken saucage. It just sucks. I always have fruit with breakfast. It's just what I do. I really hope it's just the infection that is making my sugar all crazy because even juvinal diabetics get to have a sweet a day for the first little while… acording to the news… and I can't even have some fruit. I know when I first found out I had my totm… sorry guys. And my sugar was up up up. then when that was over it came down to somewhat normal levels. The way I feel right at this moment, I am tempted to just tell that doctor I've had enough. Just give me the metforman so I can eat something without my sugar going into orbit. i'm not even talking about something sweet or ice cream or anytbhing like that. I'm just talking about a normal meal. You know, a grilled chicken breast, some rice and a salad… for instance. Well… maybe a thy and not a breast. I like thies the best. I figure it has to be good if the doctor's words were, "if nothing else, so you don't feel so frustrated" My mother in law takes this medicine and she watches what she eats, but she's not all freaked out like I am at this point. She just eats normally. I don't think she does anything real special. She even has *gasp* two pieces of bread on a sandwich. When I go *Oh that's 40 carbs, I can't see the look she gives me but I'm sure it's like yeah… so… So I know I'm not perfect, but it ought to be paying off. I don't eat many sweets. I even gave up eating toast for breakfast. I love toast. I eat weird things for lunch. Like lunch meat, cheese and carrots or maybe some fruits. I'm constantly trying to keep track of carbs this and carbs that. Darrell is trying to keep track of carbs… Heck even my girls are trying to keep track of carbs. Cranky… very very cranky. The bright side, if there is truly a bright side is that usually when I hit a low like this, it means that soon things will get better. The infection will clear, the sugar will go down. I'll figure out that life without any bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, sweets or fruit is okay, I'll find out that I can eat as much meat and cheese as I want without my sugar going sky high. I will actually eat a meal that leaves me full and satisfied and doesn't make my sugar go out of control. I'll find out about new research that will eventually lead to a cure. I don't know. Anything. I even exercised yesterday and my sugar is higher. Disgusted. I am disgusted with the state of things. But hey one positive thing… And I know I've probably mentioned this before but now I can most reliably check my sugar. I meant to update the how a blind person checks blood sugar. forum but haven't done it yet. It is very very easy now for me to do that.

12 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-05-11 12:21:50 -0500 Report


Just wanted to check in with you and try to offer you some support. It is not easy to deal with the day to day challenges of a chronic illness. Nobody likes change, and human beings are hardwired to stay the same, not to undergo drastic change, especiallly when it means giving up things that are comfortable and satisfying, like the foods that we enjoy.

Sounds like you have a lot of loving support around you, and that you have an optimistic attitude about the future, and taking good care of yourself.

I wish you better days soon, and am looking forward to staying in touch.


blindbluesmama 2011-05-11 14:59:37 -0500 Report

Thanks Gary. What I know, and perhaps what keeps me going is that my mom has diabetes and a host of other health problems. She ha sdone what she needed to do but ever since she got on diabetes medication she is even more sick and more tired. I am not sure one has anything to do with the other. But I for one do not want ulserative colitis or feux disease. She did great at first. She lost enough weight that her blood sugar went back to normal and the cdoctor told her she didn't have diabetes any more. But because she'd been on such a strict diet, and Mom is the type that dos exactly what she is told where rules are concerned, following everything to the letter, when they said that, she did what most people would do, she started eating more and more stuff that she shouldn't and then eventually she's right back where she started. She is tired all the time, she's stressed out all the time… she eats healthy but doesn't really enjoy life all that much. I think she worries about her health and it makes her sicker. I do not want to be like that. I suppose that's why I'm working so hard to find something I can live with that doesn't feel like so many restrictions. Right now I'm just trying to cut out most of the bread and pasta and stuff. Eating more protein and vegetables. Can't give up my low carb yogourt though. That's what I mean. I don't want to get locked into something that's just destined to fail. I am cutting out most carbs because my morning blood sugar spiked every time I ate breakfast and what did I eat for breakfast? Bagels, toast, only 20 grams but still. Cream of wheat, oatmeal… So I'm like ok, the doctors are telling me that a certain ammount of carbohydrates are okay but this is what is happening with my blood sugar. The doctor was almost ready to put me on medicine last week but then I asked him to wait until we get this infection under control. And I am glad because my sugar is less erattic right now. It's going up more or less acording to his guidelines, 50-60 points from what my fasting was. Getting back with my exercise has also helped. I do not know how long I can keep it up going mostly without carbs. I mean if I was really doing it right I'd give up the hummis and the yogourt, but those things fall within common sense guidelines. If it doesn't make sense so I don't do it. Giving up bread and potatoes and cooked carrots makes sense. Even giving up squash makes sense. But to me giving up yogourt doesn't make a lot of sense unless it's not low carb yogourt. Even limiting my fruit makes some sense. But that's a gray area for me. Fruit is good for you. But it has sugar so I'm like ok, I'm willing to limit my fruit intake. For now anyway.Well, it'll be alright. I'll either figure this out or I won't. Sometimes, being on medicine might be easier. Then as long as I ate sensibly and didn't eat any sweets, my sugar would stay reasonable. Ok, well sorry for the ramble.

blindbluesmama 2011-05-11 07:49:30 -0500 Report

Today is a good day my fb is 159 and I am learning to watch the carbs. Apparently I just don't need so many of them and still waiting for the antibiotics to kick in. It's only Wednesday after all. Darrell is playing crossfire right now and playing along with the mp3 player and sounds really good.;

blindbluesmama 2011-05-10 14:01:13 -0500 Report

My sbs (stupid blood sugar was 189 I think this morning when I woke up. I ate breakfast at 8:10. Two hours later my ppbs was three hundred and something or other. Later it was 250 or maybe 256 can't remember. Now, at 1:43 it is 181 so it took five hours to get back to where it started The only good thing I can say is that I did have a snack in between there at about 11:30. I had some nuts. So roughly two hours after the snack my sugar didn't go higher. So nuts… don't effect my sugar, except that it gets lower. Wonder why macadamia nuts do it to me? Are all nuts not created equal? Why does my mom say you're supposed to eat meat with nuts because nuts are really only fat? Even I know that isn't totally correct although peanut butter is more fatty. Anyway I'm gonna eat lunch. Then do the dishes and throw in a load of towels. Today since I've been up I already checked my bs four times. FOUR!!!!!!! Am I the only one that wants to scream with frustration as I'm writing this? Most people check their sugar four times in one day. I have checked mine four times and haven't even had lunch yet. Speaking of, I am having a hamburger patty, some bell pepper strips with hummis… a salad with dressing and if the plate doesn't look full enough maybe a piece of cheese which if divided would make four of those cute little cheese cubes. I'm sure there will be a couple carbs in the dressing I'm going to put on the salad, and there might be carbs in cheddar cheese, but I'm not sure. Maybe too in the bbq sauce on the hamburgers, but not as many as there would be on the bread that I'm not having. I mean bbq sauce like three carbs per serving or something. Baby steps and all that. For a while I'm just going to have to really watch it on the bread. I feel like I'm baby stepping through quick sand. It's worse than going through job interviews. At least during those people would say nice things like you look nice today or you seem to be very qualified for this job… before they would deliver the kicker… but we can't hire you. But I know this only seems like quick sand. That's just the appearance. God is taking care of me even though sometimes I am angry and frustrated and don't feel like it.

Duel 2011-05-10 16:09:44 -0500 Report

There is this Sugar Controller Tea by Health King you can buy. They say this tea is not for people with low blood sugar. I bought two boxes, each time I drink it makes me feel better.

blindbluesmama 2011-05-10 16:51:06 -0500 Report

Hey thanks for the tip. Anything to help. I have already bought this glucose support formula. Supposedly this formula coupled with a low carb diet is supposed to be a good deal. I have often heard that high protein low carb is very good for diabetes. I figure anything beats constantly either being nervous about what to eat or feeling guilty for eating something I should not eat. And anything beats having to take medicine constantly. Or worse, having to take insulin constantly. So at the very worst, I spent 40 b ucks on something that didn't work and the high protein diet doesn't help at all. But best possible, maybe this will help me and it's not something I have to do forever. Just until my body starts functioning correctly on its own. But I'm also going to try that tea.

shorty31 2011-05-10 07:59:35 -0500 Report

don't feel so bad about the fruit sometimes i still eat fruit my favorite is watermelon and you know what i found out is it helps my water intake i go more often than i use to i also like grapes and cantelope. i think it's through brail or some one does it for them chin up sweet heart you'll get there sooner than you think let me know how you made out okay.

blindbluesmama 2011-05-10 08:55:09 -0500 Report

Well, I am not willing to give up fruit. I decided that fruit and bread be damned I am going to have a satisfying breakfast. I had half an apple… 10 darbs I think because the apple was two and a half inches in diameter, measured by a finger. I had a piece of toast with margarine… 20 carbs, a piece of chicken saucage… three carbs and a carb master yogourt… 4 carbs. Unless I did the math wrong, that's 37 grams of carbs. I didn't count the creamer in my coffee. There are just some things I am not willing to compromise on, not even a little. A spoon full of creamer in my coffee is one of them. Real peanut butter, not fat free or reduced fat is another, as are real miracle whipe and regular not fat free cheese. I keep telling myself that part of this is the infection which is making my stomach hurt and making my back hurt among other things. And that a week or two of weird blood sugar is not going to be what kills me. I am doing everything in my control. I.E. taking all the most obvious things and cutting them out and reducing the things that can also cause spikes. Maybe Darrell has a point, I would be a lot easier to be around if I smoked marijuana. While Marijuana is very good for migraines and works quicker than anything I have ever tried to relieve them, it is not a good idea to do it when you have diabetes because of the emphamous munchies. I think, however some of that is psychological. We get the munchies because we've always heard that that's just what happens. It's best to just not give in to that first urge to eat and eat. Then common sense can kick in and you can make a better choice. Or you can just lay down and go to sleep. That also works for the late night cravings. Last night I wanted to eat an extra yogourt and instead I just went to sleep. In hind sight, maybe that extra yogourt would have kept my sugar from going up. Maybe a small protein snack at night before bed will keep the sugar in check. Well *sigh* it's seriously time to move on. I had a down moment. Diabetes sucks. We know all that. Time to get about doing other stuff.

io162e 2011-05-10 13:11:20 -0500 Report

I found some good dessert and muffin (soy flour) recipes that are low in carbs at George Stella's Stella Style Community website. Maybe that would give you a little variety that might help. Good luck to you.

Kirla 2011-05-10 18:00:48 -0500 Report

Thanks for the site. Will go threw the recipes when I get a chance. I post several recipes for the foods I eat on my blog. I have used soy flour for breading shrimp and it worked pretty good. I have several recipes for making soy flour pancakes, waffles, chocolate and carrot cake and pumpkin bread. I make a pumpkin pie and use soy flour for the crust. I think its as good if not better than a real pumpkin pie. I even make soy pasta out of it. http://kirla.wordpress.com/blog-posts/ If interested I post my recipes here. http://kirla.wordpress.com/recipes-3/ Just click on any of them that might interest you. I get lots of visitors but not many go threw the recipe section. All the recipes are low carb and doesn’t spike my blood sugar. The TVP cakes I now use soy flour instead of the TVP. The TVP oatmeal I ate for several months and you have to click the link for the recipe. I really don’t recommend eating it. The soy/TVP flour cakes taste a lot better than the oatmeal. I have a piece of cake just about every day at lunch. Tastes great.

Good luck

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