In a rut ...

By whitetigress Latest Reply 2011-04-09 19:18:33 -0500
Started 2011-04-05 20:17:14 -0500

Have you ever found yourself in a rut where you are doing the same thing everyday? I have been finding that I am sitting and watching t.v. all day long… even shows I don't like.

I know I should be doing other things but I just can't seem to find the "get up and go". I tell myself I will do things … like housework … and I am lucky if I finish the dishes…

If you have felt this way, what did you do to get out of the rut? Any suggestions because I feel I am wasting my time and I don't want to do that anymore yet, nothing changes. I tell myself, "tomorrow" I will start anew.

16 replies

donna62M 2011-04-09 19:18:33 -0500 Report

My rut happened when I was told I couldn't go back to work…I hadn't been in hospital for a couple of years or gotten really sick for a long time and I felt really good and thought I could handel going to work for a couple of days a week…asked the doc and he said only 4 hours a week(wasn't worth the petrol to go for only four hours, it would cost more going to and from). Hit rock bottom when I realised that my hubby had taken over everything at home and I wasn't getting out of bed at least 3 days of any given week…sometimes it still depresses me but I can't change that yet…A friend suggested that I just do one thing in the house every day and try someting new every week…still working on it.

Armourer 2011-04-07 21:52:35 -0500 Report

I go through this all the time. I'm on disability with two back problems which curtails a lot of things, cause it affects how I walk. My brother-in-law complained that I've spent to much dollars over the years on DVDs. Yea, I have, but sitting at home all day doin' nothin' is a drag. But I don't even watch the DVDs anymore nor do I buy them. There are days when I sleep all day cause there's no reason to get up. For what? My kids are grown and away. My wife is at work. Then I realize what a waist the day was. But tomorrow will be the same. Economy has made me cut going places because of the gas. I volunteered at a fencing club for years till my back gave out. I volunteered to help the local high school's photography classes but the teacher feared my knowledge and experience. What motivates me is trying to think of some way to be of help to someone, to be of service. Some days it works, some it doesn't, but the important thing is not quitting!

rentintin 2011-04-07 06:45:07 -0500 Report

I do this too its like life is too overwhelming or something . One thing that helps me is not to think of ALL the things I need to be doing but instead just take THE NEXT THING and try to do it; maybe then move to the next or not.

Hops 2011-04-07 05:51:34 -0500 Report

What would you like to do that is different? I just enrolled in tango classes with a friend who friends doing new things helps delay the ravages of the MS she has. For starters look for a laughing group to join. That's right, a laughing group. Laughter is healthy exercise. My physicians assistant says that each laugh burns 10 calories.

Guardianstone 2011-04-07 02:00:35 -0500 Report

Am there, still doin that and don't want the stinking t-shirt. Can't seem to get going, or drive myself crazy with more projects than I have time or money for.
Have you any craft projects? Maybe try a class at a community college? Try talking to the waitress, or cashier at your favorite resturant. Plan a 'ME' day. Get a hair cut, new style or color. Or visit your local library. Something different, something to look forward to.
Good luck, and feel better about yourself.
God's blessings
Guardian stone

Cari Lee
Cari Lee 2011-04-06 16:58:12 -0500 Report

AMEN to that,Ray. I go thru depression quite often. I think it's old age and that most of my friends and family r gone now. But i do have family in Australia and i'm heading there next week. I don't want to have surgery before i see them.
U have some real good ideas and LIVING is but one of them. Thanks for reminding me of that.

whitetigress 2011-04-06 20:58:20 -0500 Report

You have reminded me that I have been losing people in my life too. A good friend of mine (we were talking relationship) and then he found out he had cancer and died 2 months later. Then at the end of December 2010, my grandmother died. Now, on one level, I am glad because she is no longer in pain, but I also didn't have any closure with her either. She was a great woman.

RAYT721 2011-04-06 16:44:51 -0500 Report

It's unlikely that you're the only one. Why not try to find family, neighbors, friends, or find groups that share mutual interests? Just think of how many disabled or elderly people would like to have your companionship. Take a walk. Borrow a bicycle if you don't have one. Check out the local tour books from your library with ideas of things to see and places to go. Not all activities cost a lot of money. For example our local zoo and art museum offers a certain day for FREE. Have you tried turning on the radio and dancing? Walk around the mall (credit cards at home) and just price things. Call old friends. Write letters. You'll be out of your rut by adding new memories and friendships. The more you change your surroundings, the more you'll change your emotions! Live, baby, live!!! :)

jayabee52 2011-04-05 22:10:23 -0500 Report

They say that "a rut is a grave with the ends knocked out"

I am in kind of a rut too. I get on my computer all day and am on DC and the other connect sites. I'm on 5 or 6 connect sites right now plus 2 email boxes.

Do you have a friend in the real world who can come and interrupt you and take you out of your rut? Get with him/her to share what is going on with you and plan your escape from your rut. If I lived closer I might even volunteer,

Blessings to you and yours, Suzanne.


whitetigress 2011-04-06 10:28:35 -0500 Report

Thank you James for your response and suggestion. I just recently moved into my own apartment. I had to get away from a roommate that I had for the last 4 years in total. We had been friends for over 10 years, and now for the sake of my health, I have to let her go.

She is high maintenance because she has MS, osteoarthritis and so on … and within the last two years she was diagnosed as bi-polar. The longer we were roommates, the more dependent she became on me. It is much worse than I am describing but for the purposes of my response .. this should be enough to give you an idea.

I have a congenital heart condition as well as the diabetes … I can't live with someone this toxic. Just being around her now makes me physically nauseous.

Because she was not well liked by the people in the building, they didn't want to know me either. So, I am starting fresh … no real friends to speak of. I look forward to making new friends but until then…

jayabee52 2011-04-06 15:00:25 -0500 Report

No friends in your town? at all?

whitetigress 2011-04-06 20:51:49 -0500 Report

I just moved here before my roommate moved in and she demanded so much attention, that I didn't make any friends. Now that I am on my own, I hope to make new friends.

jayabee52 2011-04-07 00:18:43 -0500 Report

I see you read Ray's response to you, and he has some wonderful ideas! Getting involved with a church or other place of worship may be a good way of getting out and making friends.

pkwillhoite 2011-04-06 12:01:11 -0500 Report

I am sure you will have lots of friends in no time!! You will come out of your rut it happens to me all the time then I come out for a few days to a few weeks then there I go agoin back into my rut… So I know exactly what your talking about… Good luck and keep us informed…

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