Shadow men, Visions of suicide and Shadow vision

Guardianstone
By Guardianstone Latest Reply 2011-07-14 15:36:31 -0500
Started 2011-04-05 14:40:28 -0500

A few inghts ago While taking a bath, I had a vision of myself. I was standing, smiling with a knife in my hand. I was in a good mood, but . . . I watched myself slit me wrist. A long cut following the vein in my right wrist. It was about 2 1/2" long and 1/4" deep.
Since I had been happy to get my husband back from tne hospital that night, and had a good meal, it wasn't diabetic related nor my daughters e-mail (yesterday evening) that caused it. Since then I've seen (corner of my eye type) visions of black shadows and shadow or vivid men. I am not comfortable with this, but my group therapy leader says it is natural.
SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT IT! I am a victim of over 35 yrs of childhood abuse, but I don't think this is it. The last 'vision' I had this strong was the night my maternal grandfather died. He stood at the end of my bed shaking his head. I could even smell his familliar scent, and could almost touch him. My dog growled then whimpered as he slowly faded.
This was NOT a dream. I have 'acknowledged it and placed a lid on it, saying that this is no longer needed' . . . but it persists, and the vision is getting stronger.
Any advice? This is not due to meds - none available. I don't drink or do other illegal stuff.
I AM WORRIED. Help.
Guardian stone

Tags: fear

29 replies

cheetah1976
cheetah1976 2011-07-14 15:36:31 -0500 Report

Dear Guardian stone, How have your sugars been? Four years agon on July 20th i had been having visions like you. I came home from work and injected every bottle of insulin i had and took three bottles of sleeping pills. It was by the grace of God I am alive. I was lucky cause I sleep walked and passed out in a road a fw blocks from my home. My neighbors were driving by the next morning and almost rn me over. It was God who had them take a different route that morning and found me. I had dreams that seemed so real. I do believe they were real cause I could feel long arms reach down in my hell and pull me out by my arms. I feel today that Jesus reached down in the pits of hell to save me. He had a purpose for me and I thank God everyday for life. I did find out that diabeties causes depression. My depression wasn't healed by any medicine but by the grace of God. IF you have a pastor to call or you are welcome to call mine Pastor James Benson 409-939-1425. Please get help by a doctor or cleregy.

Sidehack
Sidehack 2011-07-14 15:06:02 -0500 Report

Are you on any anti-depressants? If I don't take my welbutrin (bupropion) I get very dark thoughts about planning my suicide. I've heard that different meds have different effects.

Armourer
Armourer 2011-04-07 21:12:05 -0500 Report

Please talk to the doc and therapist about this soon! And I'm glad that Dr. Gary is on this site too, to give a doc's perspective. I believe that some people are more sensitive to things then others. I'm not one of them. But I also don't think you are crazy, and you've mentioned that its not the meds. If you have religious inclinations I suggest asking for help and guidance through prayer. I shall place you in mine!

Pynetree
Pynetree 2011-04-07 10:39:16 -0500 Report

Hi Guardian Stone…I am worried for you too. These minds are sensitive mysterious creatures. The chemical balance gets thrown out of wack by too many variables, stress,Meds, lack of restful sleep, illness, BG..highs or lows, diet, and toxins all around us. Great advice from your friends here…share this with your DR.
I'm saying a prayer for you. (((Hugs)))

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2011-04-07 13:46:51 -0500 Report

Thank you Pynetree.
Been too long since I have talked to you.
I talk with my bipolar psych today at 4pm. I'll leave a note for everyone to let everyone know I'm ok.
God bless
Guardian stone

peggyjean47
peggyjean47 2011-04-06 13:58:51 -0500 Report

my daughter has visions and hears voices, she says they tell her to harm herself, one thing she is doing now is wear a rubber band on her wrist and snap it when when she needs to , and also stay around someone you can talk to and confide in, also my daughter will sometimes actually tell the voices no and tells them to go away,and like gary said talk to your dr and counselor, and we are here also if you need to talk

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2011-04-06 11:23:33 -0500 Report

HI!

Great to run into you!

I would encourage you to keep talking about this in your group. It's reallly important to work closely with a mental helath professional when you are experiencing visions like this. If you are seeing a physician, I would also recommend bringing this up with him/her to see if additional evaluation is recommended.

Please don't keep this to yourself. Keep the professionals in the picture.

And stay in touch with us!

Gary

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2011-04-06 16:49:02 -0500 Report

Thanks Dr Gary. Seeing someone tomorrow. I am so glad you are here.
Off the subject, what do you think of Prozac? It has been sugested for other problems but I'm just not sure. Been to the site.
Thanks again
God's blessings friend
Guardian stone

Mizzgreenjeanz
Mizzgreenjeanz 2011-04-06 04:00:27 -0500 Report

I see a neurologist regularly for epilepsy and I told him about "visions" I'd had. I'd just be sitting still day dreaming and it was like a tv show played in my head of an unspeakable event. My neuro explained to me that one of the biggest causes of disturbances of this kind was lack of proper deep sleep. Have you been sleeping through the night? Could you possibly be experiencing Sleep Apnea where you are not getting a restful night sleep? Have you ever had a sleep study done? Only when I've not slept well do I have any reoccurence of this kind. It's kind of a "mind playing tricks" scenario. Just thoughts from personal experience. Hope you are not experiencing as much worry and are able to put these events behind you.

Nova69
Nova69 2011-04-05 21:09:01 -0500 Report

Before you do anything else, you might want to go over all of your meds with your doctor. Some types can have a number of psychological effects.

Good Luck

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-04-05 16:02:26 -0500 Report

I AM worried about you GS.

I am not a psychologist but I am wondering if you subconsciously are feeling you are not deserving of being happy. Being abused for 35 yrs is a long time, and it can affect your sense of self worth.

I had a rather difficult childhood too due to my ADD and my dad's (unknowing) reaction to it. I had suicide ideation ever since my teen years andup until I chose not to avoid going back to dialysis and let my kidneys slowly poison my blood. I chose not to take that way "out" because I didn't want to be a bad example to my 3 sons WHEN life got tough for them. (not a matter of if, rather WHEN!)

I am usually quite anchored mentally in reality, but there was one incident that I remember where I was driving between my home-health clients, I can only describe it as a vision, I think it was of my ex wife, I could see her form in my windshield, and she was translucent and yet was without clothes on and could "see" certain prominent body parts. (I hope not TMI!)

To try to describe it sounds to me like I was "tripping" on a mind altering substance, but I had not been. I had been separated from SLiK for about 2 - 3 yrs at that time. It was just a flash vision, then it was gone. WIERD I only told a couple people about it because it felt so wierd. Fortunately that hasn't recurred.

Occasionally my mind will take me to other places I have been, like here lately I will be driving in LV and my mind jumps to an intersection or two in Hayward CA, where I lived with "Jem" for a while.

I am wondering, GS if your meds are working for you the way they need to? Sometimes, for whatever reason, meds which have worked for you before no longer work.

Please report this to your Dr who manages your psych meds. See what s/he thinks.

My prayers are ascending for you GS!

James

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2011-04-05 18:51:42 -0500 Report

my ancesters yet. Too stuborn and too much to do.
Thank you brother.
God's love
Guardian stone

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-04-05 19:38:28 -0500 Report

YOU're too stubborn and have too much to do yet!

That's GOOD!

I won't be delivering myself to the grim reaper either. He'll have to come and get me friend!

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2011-04-06 01:27:30 -0500 Report

Irish, Scot, Potowanimi (Mi) Indian, English, Canadian, German, and French. Yes I'm a stuborn bullheaded mutt. Talk to you later.
Are you in any danger while driving? Maybe you can get some to drive you around for a few days. It sounds dangerous. I CAN'T afford to lose a brother now can I?
Mother hen
AKA
Guardian stone

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-04-06 14:32:40 -0500 Report

My "vision" happened in about 2004 or 2005. I have driven thousands of miles since then. And something like that has not happened again. I have been to live in CA with Jem since then, and back, so I don't think I have to worry about someone driving me around for my safety. Thanks for your concern GS!

Guardianstone
Guardianstone 2011-04-06 17:30:12 -0500 Report

Good for you. If you ever ar in the phoenix area I'd love to meet you. I think you and my hubby are too much alike. If we ever get back to Vegas we'll let you know.
Your sis
Guardian stone

jayabee52
jayabee52 2011-04-07 00:32:01 -0500 Report

Is being too much like your hubby a good, or a bad thing?

Please let me know when you plan to come, sis!

(((((Hug))))))

James

Bunny Cakes
Bunny Cakes 2011-04-05 15:54:54 -0500 Report

I have seen "Shadow People" my whole life, I only viewed them as a threat when I was younger because I was little and didn't understand and to be honest it's just weird to see things others can't, not that I understand them now.

But now I don't think they can hurt your or anything and I don't think they are a sign of mental illness, it's just that some of us are more sensitive to things than others.

I would say the vision of your suicide may have been your mind showing you that it was more stressed than you realized. Don't let it scare you just take it as a very strong sign that you need to de-stress very soon or you'll be hurting yourself. Sometimes our minds and the many unknown things that work around us show us very strong and scary things to get us set back on the path to taking care of ourselves.

It might even have been less a vision and more of an astral projection so your inner self could get a strong message to your conscious self. Perhaps sitting down and looking at your life will show you the self harm you are doing without realizing it so you can stop.

If you need to talk to someone who is willing to listen privately please message me. I don't think you're crazy or dreaming, my belief system is open and recognizes event like this.

nanaellen
nanaellen 2011-04-05 15:47:37 -0500 Report

Just read your post and I want to talk to you but I gotta run out for a few. I WILL be back to talk to you!! Ellen

1cookie :)
1cookie :) 2011-04-05 15:44:17 -0500 Report

Please Guardianstone, call a nuerologist for an eval…I will not speculate or suggest a theory but that is who I would call. I f you suffered from bieng beaten in the past, this could be an underlying cause … Best of luck, Anita

Ps please let me know how it goes, and how your doing

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