New/Confused/Venting

Firerose
By Firerose Latest Reply 2011-03-25 15:43:22 -0500
Started 2011-03-18 00:14:04 -0500

Hope I am posting this in the right place.

I was diagnosed about a month ago…but was told the month before that by a med resident I was pre-diabetic…Well she was wrong according to my Dr. whom is one of her advisors.

I don't have insurance of any kind so have to go to the county hospital and clinic, which is a teaching facility. At the end of January I was test…about a week later was told by a med resident that I was pre-diabetic. I was scared to death. I wanted to know anything and everything. I tried to watch what I ate and how I felt. I wanted a meter to test myself…well about 2wks later I went to see my Dr. She teaches at the facility and told me that the resident misdiagnosed me…that I am full fledged diabetic. Well I told her I thought I was cuz everything I had read was pointing that direction. She put me on Metformin and told me to go to the Dept. Of Health for guidance and learning about it.

Thank night I started my search for help to get a meter and testing supplies. Only to find out I couldn't find any! So after some money management we were able to get me a started. I kept a word document of when I tested, what my levels were, when I ate and what I ate. Nothing makes any sense to me. It seems like when I eat right it is high and when I don't eat right it is higher. My symptoms and mood swings don't match what my sugar should be according to I have read. I am SO confused!!!! I went to my first meeting to learn more about this crappy disease. And after that I shut down…I quit keeping a log. I still tested 3 times a day and tried to watch what I ate. I am finding it hard to remember to take the medication after I eat, especially if we are out n about.
And what's worse is my depression is outta control, sleeping alot and not caring about much.

I'm already tired of everything. I'm tired of my mood swings, of checking my sugar levels 3-4 times a day, of pricking my finger, and having to watch every morsel of what I eat. So far I hate everything about it.

On a positive note…my fiance tries to help me, he will give me the look or ask if I really need that second helping. I have a friend who live 1/2 way across the country who has dealt with this for many years; but I hate that she is always pointing out what I am doing wrong. Am I doing ANYthing right??? I have a grandbaby on the way…I want to feel better and be here to see him and my family grow. I am just finding this all so hard. I feel like nobody understands my overwhelmed feeling or why I just want to "hibernate" in my home and bed.

Sorry this is so long…Any help or suggestions appreciated.


27 replies

Pegasuslover
Pegasuslover 2011-03-25 15:43:22 -0500 Report

I also understand your position. I'm unempolyed and no insurance! I found a medical program called Metro Community Provider Network and they go by your income. If you have something like that where you live go for it. I pay 7.00 for office visits and 8.00 for my meds. And I get all my equiptment through the Doctor at a lower cost. There are alternatives out there luckly. I can't get Medicad cause I haven't been on SSI for two years. What are we suppose to do?

echowit
echowit 2011-03-20 21:32:51 -0500 Report

Onedar said "Rather than try to do everything at once, identify what the best next step is and make that your focus." and I quote him 'cause i can't say it any better. Noticed your comment 'when I eat right it is high and when I don't eat right it is higher' and boy could I relate. I for one was totally in the dark about what was "right" to eat. Luckily i have a great GP and I followed her advice and simply tracked what I was normally eating and looked at the results. Then I attacked the culprits and got it under control. IMHO reacting too soon to individual BG readings simply leads to a YoYo affect.
Main thing. Have faith and stay in touch. The people who populate this site can help.

Onedar
Onedar 2011-03-19 18:58:08 -0500 Report

You've received many helpful replies. It can be truly overwhelming and discouraging at times. The only thing I would add is to keep in mind that this is a journey for the rest of your life. Rather than try to do everything at once, identify what the best next step is and make that your focus. Once you have that down, you can take the next step. By summer, you'll be amazed how far you've come. In the meantime, stay connected with others - especially on this site. The journey is much easier when you have company!

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 01:06:35 -0500 Report

I have taken these words to heart this last week. I can only do one step at a time, even if it is just baby steps. I am hoping the books I have ordered will help me with this.

Dizzy65101 or Robin
Dizzy65101 or Robin 2011-03-18 22:48:17 -0500 Report

If money is an issue you can also get good information on the web like Mayo clinic and WEBMD.com. I completely understand what you are going through when I was first diagnosed I was just like you so I want you to know you are NOT alone.
and there are some good articles here on this site that you may find helpful.we are glad that you are here and will support you in what ever way we can. It is confusing at first and over whelming. As you get to know more about diabetes and how your body feels it will get easier.you can do this, we are here for you.

Hugs and blessings
Robin

sNerTs1
sNerTs1 2011-03-18 21:57:57 -0500 Report

First off, I totally understand every line of your note. I'm so happy that your fiance is looking after you and making sure you eat a little better.

What really helped me to understand a lot of what was going on with me, the disease and all the things around it was reading a book called Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solutions. My doctor gave me absolutely no education at first, just a list of what I needed to take and tried to find me a nutritionist and someone who could show me how to use a meter aaaaand the name of this book. You can find it at your local library and its worth the read, in my opinion. It really filled in some blanks for me.

All I can really tell you is that you need to listen to your body. Secondly we are all very different and what might work for one of us, might not be really good for another as we all process carbs differently but we can learn from others too so don't be afraid to ask anything. Sometimes I even have delayed effects of my sugars depending on what it is that I have eaten.

Thirdly, please take care of YOU. You are the only one who can change your diet and the way the sugars will react with you. If you take your sugars and they are a little bit higher then take a walk if you can and drink a good bottle of water and check again. Exercise and water help to flush things out.

The only wrong in diabetes is not taking a stand to what has decided to take a stand inside you. My motto is: Im going to control this, this will NOT control me.

It does get easier in time, but the learning never ends and that is ok, its a clear indication that they are getting closer to a cure for us =)

I wish you well, and pray that things get easier for you. Let US here at diabetic connect, help you climb your mountain. I for one would be honored if you let me help if I can.

Prayers and Blessings ~ Cheryl

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 01:05:15 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for the boost! I am taking that stand and saying "this will not get me down!" "I can do this". Listening to my body is kinda hard cuz everything is so confused right now…but i am sure over time it will become clearer.

Kirla
Kirla 2011-03-18 21:56:29 -0500 Report

This is what has helped me. Good luck

Feb 2009 I was diagnosed with a fasting blood sugar of 366 and A1C of 14.1. Started to eat a salad every day at supper. Also started to eat lots of low carb vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, cucumbers, spinach, pickles and sauerkraut. Started to drink 8+ glasses of water every day.

I then bought a meter and started to test my blood sugar before and after each meal. At first I was testing 2 hours after each meal and when my numbers dropped a lot I started testing 1 hour after meals. I was testing 5-7 times a day. I cut back or eliminated foods that spiked my blood sugar more than 50 points after eating.

By testing I found that foods like bread and most foods made of grains along with pasta, rice, corn, potatoes, oatmeal, cereals, chips, crackers, cakes, cookies, candy, soda, fruits, fruit juices, milk and most foods that contain more than 5-6 net carbs per serving as found on the package label all spiked my blood sugar. Some people can cut back on these foods and some people like me have to stop eating them.

After about 6-8 weeks my blood sugar readings were almost normal levels. After 7 weeks I quit all meds and my numbers continued to get better and better.

I found by reducing and eliminating high carb starchy foods helped me a lot. By adding small amounts of chicken, beef, pork or a hard boiled egg to my meals helped reduce blood sugar spikes also.

Good luck
Kevin
http://kirla.wordpress.com/

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 01:02:14 -0500 Report

I have been documenting (in my head) what I am eating and finding out that anything with white makes my sugar spike. I was never a big veggie/fruit person so that is also something I will be changing and getting used too. Thank you for what worked for you and I will be trying some of these options.

Kirla
Kirla 2011-03-23 05:03:56 -0500 Report

I found that cauliflower is the only thing white that doesn't spike my blood sugar. I can't eat fruit. Some people claim they can eat berrys. Since I don't care to much for berrys, I don't eat them. I have tried the sugar free jams and some of them taste good. Just have to use 1/2 a serving.

Doc 720
Doc 720 2011-03-18 21:55:05 -0500 Report

Also I posted this in another discussion on 25 Jan. Many have used it and swear by it:

"When I was diagnosed, I found this, The most EXCELLENT and INFORMATIVE book (at least to me) "The First Year, Type 2 Diabetes, An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed" (A Patient-Expert Walks You Through Everything You Need to Learn and Do). The author is Gretchen Becker.
"I more than recommend this!! I suggest this be a permanent fixation in every Type 2's library!! It helped me so much that first year and has continued to be a good source of info when needed.

Reviews:
http://www.amazon.com/First-Year-Type-Diabete...;
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-First-Ye...;
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/diabetes-books/The-...;
http://www.diabeticsbooks.com/diabetesinfo.html (have to go down the page a little bit but it is there)
http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9781569242650-6

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 01:00:05 -0500 Report

Thank you…I looked around for info on the book by Becker…LOVED what I found…Book should be here Thursday along with a book that is called…
Choose Your Foods: Exchange Lists for Diabetes by American Diabetes Association. Part of my problem right now is trading foods I like for foods I can eat that satisfy the like.

pixsidust
pixsidust 2011-03-18 20:56:23 -0500 Report

You and I are diagnosed at the same time. It sounds like you and I got the same training. Medicine is cheaper at Walmart . 90 day supply for $10 dollars and in another part of the site is info on a meter from Target thats the most affordable. I cry sometimes and have symptoms that are not so great, such as mood swings, hot stinging feet and my vision change for 10 days before it went back making my glasses useless for that time. I wrote a discussion called Diabetes Best practices which I will copy and paste for you.
I hope something from my learning helps you.

DIABETIC BEST PRACTICES
What are your Diabetic Best Practices that help you toward success? In the evolution of watching what I eat and do, I am discovering some things, that help me be successful.

The first day after my diagnoses a month ago, my company took us all out to eat and thus my watching myself began. Here are some things that have helped me thus far.

If you are going out to eat as a group or individually, see if you can find the menu online. Read the calories, nutrition values and anything they provide that will help you make the best choices ahead of time.
Recently I went to Denny's and had food substituted at no cost to egg whites, a whole grain pancake, sugar free syrup, and low fat/sodium turkey bacon.

Keep your groceries well stocked with food you can eat. One of my first trips I made to the grocery store, I spent time reading the labels and looking carefully in each aisle as I went down them. I discovered a narrow strip of shelving top to bottom where sugar free ketchup, fat, gluten & sugar free dressing were housed in many flavors. Sugar free jam is not the same but passable. American fat free cheese does melt where fat free cheddar does not. Not all lunch meats are the same so read the labels.

Raw salt free nuts are sold separately from the rest of the nuts. I found mine near the fresh foods where you pour, bag, and label the package.
Try new vegetables and fruit. I love Granny Smith apples but was introduced to a Jazz Apple which is very crispy and sweet with a kick. Different lettuces have different nutrient levels and make for a good sandwich wrap. Remember the more colorful, a fresh item is, the more vitamins it holds. Eat raw when possible for the extra fiber.

Keep snacks that cater to all your cravings. They need to be quick and answer an immediate urge. My cravings fall into both a sweet and salty categories. For sweet I have the sugar free pudding and Jello cups. For salty I go for extra flavor of carrots dipped in garlic hummus, or broccoli florets in fat/sugar free ranch dressing. Pork rinds are also carb free but are 50% fat with high sodium. Take your snacks with you to work and when you go places. You will be prepared.

Try substitutes and go for the flavor. With fat free butter spray, I do not miss butter or margarine. Salt free Mrs Dash come in many flavors and seasoning combinations. I have found even some of the generic versions even tastier.

Experiment with recipes. I take a large lettuce leaf to roll my burrito filling in and eat it with a fork.

Involve your family to thinking about you. My son makes us stir fry and my food is taken out before the sauce is put on it. Do not have your feelings hurt if at a party there is not much you can eat. Discuss what they are having in case you need to eat ahead of time.

Walk in the sunlight as weather permits. Sunlight is good for vitamin D. We walk inside our office building, taking the stairs up and down with hall ways in between in inclement or too cold/hot weather.

Wear good shoes that give support and cushion. These do not have to say Diabetic or Orthopedic on them as there are many brands that are made well. They can be found if you Google the words comfortable shoes for brands. Most people have to try on shoes to determine fit and comfort. Once you know your fit in a brand and style, shopping on-line can be a savings, especially if you look for on-line store coupon codes to add to a website sale.

Drink lots of ice cold water. It speeds you metabolism up, warming the water and gives you much needed hydration. If you do not like water, try putting a lemon wedge in the water or use a sugar free Wylers or Crystal Light.

Connect. You made a start connecting here. I find the more people I tell that I am a newly diagnosed Diabetic, the more people let me know they are Diabetic as well.

Most of all be your own best friend. Everyday try and prepare to be your best. Celebrate the good you see. Make yourself a priority for yourself and those who love you. Be kind to yourself when you falter and realize you now have an opportunity to do even better.

Cry if you must but renew yourself with a plan and goals. Make your goals realistic and bite size. We are taking this thing step by step and day by day. Lets give ourselves a chance at success!

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 00:57:01 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for your insight and suggestions. I have done alot of reading here and learning alot of things. I mostly wear sandals in the summer so I will have to keep an eye out for ones that will be best for me. I love ice cold tea, so already doing that :). Again ty so much!

realsis77
realsis77 2011-03-18 11:41:59 -0500 Report

Hi and welcome to our big family! Our family is growing daily and we are glad you are a part of it! What your feeling is normal! Its a lot to absorb! I was scared to death when I found out I was diabetic! Now comes the learning! So much to learn! Remember its very important to take your medication daily ! Also do your testing! Remember carbs are bad for us and you really need to lower your carb intake! Look up the glycemic index online and its a great source to help you understand what is high in carbs and what is not! It even has a place to enter foods into and it gives results if your not sure.if you lower your carb intake and take your meds as perscribed you should see a drop in your blood sugar levels! If your eating correctly and low carb foods and taking your meds and don't see a drop in your blood sugar levels you might need some extra help. That happened to me. Unfortunatly not all diabetics can control their blood sugar with diet and pills. I tried and I couldn't. I needed insulin. After I got put on insulin I was then able to control my blood sugar. However it is important that first you try to do it with your diet and pills! Keep track of your carb intake. The lower the carbs the better! White foods and breads usually are not good for us. The glycemic index can really help you with making the correct choices! Usually you want to keep your sugar under 150. For me if I'm 150 or above I need to administer a second type of insulin. Damage can occur if the sugar isn't brought down. Its a HUGE lifestyle change I know but you CAN do it! And you have a whole family of diabetic people here who are willing to help and support you in any way we can! If you ever want to talk I'll be here for you! Hang in there because it does get better! Ask questions and learn learn learn! Knowledge is power! Power over this disease! Get as much knowledge as possiable! Buy some books on the newly diagnosed diabetic. I did and that also helped me greatly when I was first diagnosed! I found my books on amazon for cheap and they have many diabetic titles to choose from! Some books are espically designed for the new diabetic and I recomend them! Education is so important. It will give you the power you need to fight this disease! You can get the books for only a few dollars! They even have options of buying used books for even less! Its so important to learn as much as you can now! I wish you the very best! I look foward to hearing from you in the future on this site. Remember no question is stupid so ask away! We are all happy to help! God bless!

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-18 19:38:19 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for this reply. It is a huge moral booster for me. I will defiantly look into your suggestions. And YES I am very overwhelmed!!! After I posted my "mini book" I read some other discussions and other areas and felt better knowing all I am going thru is normal and I am not losing my mind. Like you said lots to learn and a major lifestyle change is in store.

kdroberts
kdroberts 2011-03-18 10:58:19 -0500 Report

What are you eating?

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-18 19:35:35 -0500 Report

I am trying to eat right only part of the time. But know I need to eat right all the time and more then twice a day.

kdroberts
kdroberts 2011-03-18 19:45:54 -0500 Report

Yes, more than twice a day. however, are you sure what you are rating is right? things that are labelled healthy are often very unhealthy for diabetics in anything other than small amounts.

sc1boy
sc1boy 2011-03-18 09:52:03 -0500 Report

I understand fully how you feel. I have had it since I was 18 months old and have felt that way many times. have you tried to get medicaid that may help. You may need to talk to the doc about meds for your depression as I did. I was the same way with a family. I have now been married for six years and have two kids ages 2 and 5 so I understand that. You may need to talk to a diabetes educator and they can help you with your carbs and anything that might be troubling you. I hope this help you out. I am now 35 years old as well.

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-18 19:30:07 -0500 Report

My fiancee makes too much $ for me to qualify for medicaid. I am currently filing for disability for my back and everything else that I deal with. But as we all know that is a long process. I am on meds for my depression, in fact I just got the "tweaked" to help me more. It all just takes times I guess.

sc1boy
sc1boy 2011-03-19 09:22:02 -0500 Report

good luck on the diability. I have it and have medicare so if it goes through you will qualify for it and medicaid as well. It took me about a year before I got it I had to go to court and then I got it. I got passed over one time so it was flustrating.

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-23 00:53:27 -0500 Report

I have been denied twice. Once when I filed on my own and once thru my lawyer. We are just waiting for a court date now.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2011-03-18 06:24:03 -0500 Report

What you are going through is not uncommon at all. So many of us have had those feelings of "forget it" and "I just don't care". I think what you will find here are some great support tools that will help you through.

The fact that you posted your frustrations tells me that you are deep down wanting to do things differently. Here are some tips that helped me a lot.

Focus on one or two things. My first goal was lower numbers. For me, I started to figure our carb counting. I would eat them and then test after to see what they did to my levels. After I felt comfortable with the things I knew to avoid and things that worked well for me, I could move on to another step. You have to do it a little at a time or you get overwhelmed and you shut down.

As for your diabetic friend. Let her know that you are just learning and she can help more by sharing things that work for her. Everyone is different and you will find that things can do well for her won't work for you. But you have to learn that through logging and testing and experimenting. It all takes time, and she has years of experience. Ask her to be a coach, not a parent.

Here are some of my favorite videos on carb counting. http://www.diabeticconnect.com/videos/39-my-l...
http://www.diabeticconnect.com/videos/909-cou...

Being honest with how you feel is a huge step to getting where you want to be. Just try not to spend too much time giving in to how you feel. Sometimes you just have to be the boss. We are here to help you in any way we can.

Firerose
Firerose 2011-03-18 19:27:18 -0500 Report

Thanks for the advice Gabby. And your right…I need to take control and be the boss. I will definitely check out the videos.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2011-03-19 05:43:12 -0500 Report

You go! Take it head on. Sometimes that means you get a headache, but keep trying.

Everyone here knows I love the pin cushion guy. He is good and funny at the same time.

melaniebecerra
melaniebecerra 2011-03-18 00:29:03 -0500 Report

Believe me I know how you feel, i had it for 21 years now and when someone tells me i cant have that i tell them to…well point being is i have to take shots and doc says 4 times a day on top with 4 times testing and i just want to do it the easy way and just get the pump but they wont give it to me…talking about frustrating. I love food i am german and love everything bad for me, but take it from me i havent done anything they asked me too in 21 years and now am paying the price in very painful and discouraging health problems. I got it all and what is especially hard is all this water in my legs…i have no energy to do anything anymore and i am only 33 years old :( I know it is hard i hate it, we all do but thank God it is managable. eventually you will get used to it. hope this helps

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